Thursday, January 29, 2009

Snow leopards: rare, majestic, dickish


Oh, no, don't turn around, Snow Leopard. I'll just talk to your giant ass tail. What's the deal with that thing, anyway? Do you lift weights with it? What exactly do you need a tail the size of a large boa constrictor for? Are you cleaning out chimneys?

Nothing, huh? Okay, Snow Leopard. I see what's going on here. You're too busy being an obscure cat. But you know, Snow Leopard, I have feelings, too. Sure, I may not have a tail, and there are more than six billion of me, so I'm not "SUPER FUCKING SPECIAL GUY" like you. But I'm on to you, Snow Leopard, and I think it would be a good idea for you to keep your eyes open, because you never know, Snow Leopard. You. Never. Know.

54 comments:

kimber p said...

the spots he uses as "camouflage"...um yeah. You may want to rethink and pick something more up to date when you dress in the morning....

Joan of Argghh! said...

Majestic? I don't think so, Snow Leopard. Mostly just selfishly disinterested in OUR needs.

Like, for a nice winter coat...

David Dust said...

Fucking Snow Leopard. I feel like cutting off your head and tail and using your warm, furry torso as a muff to keep my hands warm.

Or are you TOO GOOD for that???

Words Words said...

No.

You. Never. Do.

Tim McNutt said...

So when is snow leopard hunting season again? Never? No matter, I'm looking forward to poaching the shit out of you and your kind and making a huge snow leopard cape. Why you ask? Why the fuck not? You'll already be dead anyway. Just lay there on that rock and mind your own business, asshole.

Aaron Davies said...

oh yeah? call me when you get an OS named after you, wise-guy.
- snow leopard

Dunesdreamer said...

Majestic? You look like just another big pussy to me, s'no leopard.

Mame said...

Look, we all know that the spots are out of the question, but you might want to try changing that attitude.

G double dash LOC said...

And to think I had respect for you after watching Planet Earth, the way you stalked that mountain goat, tore its face off and then returned to your lair to enjoy a feast with your mate...Ive been duped by the rarest of cats.

furiousBall said...

you're so fucking individualistic aren't you? you're just like that girl in high school that grew one shitty piece of her hair extra long into this special braid just like that lady from Til Tuesday and you probably give great hummers just like her too

superBadGirl said...

WTF is up with this guy? He's not even in SNOW. I think his name is a giant crock of false advertising, he looks like he's chilling in Costa Rica right there.

goeastyoungwomantodubai said...

That leopard print overload is early 80s Snow Leopard.

I bet you're wearing shoulder pads underneath that.

Other than that, I have nothing bad to say to you. You beat me because you are perfection.

Smart ass.

Wordnerd said...

I guess his hotness melts all the damn snow.

Jerk.

H-Diggley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
James Woe said...

s- for sucking dick
n- for never wiping your ass
o- for ornery
w- wimpish wang-loving worm suck

l-licking your own balls, outrageous
e-eating little cute monkeys
o-orgasm like ranch dressing
p-pulling meat from skunks ass
a-ass kissing the lion
r-retarded
d-dump on your lame fur, fag cat

1953buick said...

"oh yeah? call me when you get an OS named after you, wise-guy."
- snow leopard

nice one!

Holy Cuteness said...

Lol, nice talkng to your ass, leopard. Very polite...

Will said...

This picture made half of PETA recant.

Jezebel said...

Snow leopard you are about as majestic as my big white ass. Yeah, don't turn around cause I don't want to see that swarmy, holier than thou look on your face,asshole! And that tail is soooo yesterday's news. It's time to rethink your accessories douche.

Trish said...

You need to see this picture to understand real pain.

http://www.thepiratescove.us/2009/01/28/sickeningly-cute-story-of-the-morning-meet-orla/

jflorek said...

What a spotted dick.

jeadly said...

And what fuck is up with your scientific classification? Its in your damn name... leopard. You are clearly a sub-species of the... wait for it... LEOPARD! You and your freakshow cousins in the Neofelis Genus. What, you think you're so special cause you can't roar? That's ridiculous. I can't roar either, snow leopard, do I get my own genus and species? No. So get your ass over to Panthera Pardus before I really get angry. We're done here.

Scott said...

I am new to your site but i LOVE your tshirts. They are great!
I think you would appreciate my sense of humor. If I link to your blog on my blog is there any way you could return the favor? I think we could both get more exposure!

Check it out: Http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com

Thanks so much! I think I am gonna buy me one of them tshirts....

WendyB said...

Leopard-tard.

Christine Vaughn said...

Oh come on. Best animal ever.
Big tails for a cold ass climate and long jumps.
I want to be a snow leopard.

M@ said...

Arrogance.

Kristine said...

Can't we just kill the rest of them and be done with it? There aren't THAT many left...

melouise said...

What a fucking wuss. Can't even roar.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_leopard

Nothing more than a damned mime in a fur coat.

littleREDelf said...

That does it! No more donations to The Snow Leopard Trust for you jackass!

maybe.

sure are pretty.

fucker.

Jon Strongly said...

I want to grab that stupid cat's tail and run with it. Let it snap back like a rubber band.

I bet it would hurt like the dickens.

DJ said...

Someone has tail envy.

MELODY SEZ, sez... said...

I don't think I will ever-ever-ever be
able to get this beautimous kittie-kat
out of my mind's eye for a long time!

I think I will see how long of a passage
of time it takes me to get this beautimous
kittie-kat out of my mind's eye!

I will report back when I have got this
beautimous kittie-kat out of my mind's
eye!

TTFN

MELODY SEZ, sez... said...

I told you I would report back when
I got that beautimous kittie-kat out
of my minds' eye!

Well I got that beautimous kittie-kat
out of my mind's eye! It happened just
now! I actually forgot all about that
beautimous kittie-kat! I am now
starting to wonder if he is so beauti-
mous after all!

Gay avek ya nebbish!

ps! Eat smelly poo-poo and pass across
the Rainbow Bridge you doodie head!

hicksna617 said...

Most cats are dickish - my dog says so! btw, my word verification is bartige. what the hell is that? a new website catering to people with crap to trade with each other? Paypal not needed there!

jdub0014 said...

I bet you get a ton of these kinds of comments, but you have to do something on this little shit:

http://external.ak.fbcdn.net/safe_image.php?d=fe0ef425bf5ed579764814a0f53f57e7&url=http%3A%2F%2Ficanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2Ffunny-pictures-this-baby-panda-bids-you-hello.jpg

Keep up the hilarious work. Your website keeps me sane during long days at an office job.

Noam Sayin' said...

Funniest site I've read in a long time. Whoever you are, you're priceless.

Blieumom said...

Does this tail make my butt look big?

whitedog said...

hmmm...so you ARE a guy.

Irlandese said...

We girls will tell you that size doesn't matter just to make you feel better....but it does, SnowL, yeah, just let it hang there like you don't know it's making us crazy. Prick.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Is your tail that fat or that's just fur? In which case get a fucking tairlhair cut you dick!

Gallery Displays said...

here kitty kitty
mama wants a new coat

Ginger Man said...

Who the fuck does he think he is? Miles Fucking Davis?? Is he gonna turn and face us just to drain his spit valve?

gibsongirl said...

I could dust my whole freakin house with that swiffer tail of his.

Scott said...

Snow leopards' tails are long and flexible which help them to maintain their balance. The tails are also especially thickly covered with fur which, apart from minimising heat-loss, allows them to be used like a blanket to protect their faces when asleep.

you're corny

Scott said...

Snow leopards' tails are long and flexible which help them to maintain their balance. The tails are also especially thickly covered with fur which, apart from minimising heat-loss, allows them to be used like a blanket to protect their faces when asleep.

you're corny

J. Cullinane said...

Majestic? Pfff, WHATever. Majesty of what? The Lazy-Ass Animals Club? Why don't you just join the male lion in the contest for "Most Overrated Cat EVER." Yeah, EVER!

peter.w said...

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Yeah.....as if he'd use that "ass tail" to clean out chimneys...if he'd get up off his ass!

thanks for finally slapping these cats upside their cute big heads

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