Tuesday, January 6, 2009

We fucking get it, Gazelle

>>INTERSPECIES WEEK<<
Jesus Christ, Gazelle, talk about overkill. Basically the only thing I know about you is that you get eaten a lot, so I already have a pretty sympathetic view towards you. Then you take this picture where you are standing one way but you bend your head the other way and then look at the camera, which I get, it's all very nice. So what's with all the birds? What, are you running for office? How fucking long must you have had to stand there until you got that many birds in just the right place? YOU LOOK DESPERATE FOR AFFECTION, GAZELLE. No one wants to be forced into feeling like they should like you. You have to do the leg work, Gazelle. Stop taking the easy way out.

51 comments:

Fuck You, Fuck You, Penguin said...

Fuck, I hate you, you grubby little bastard.

Will said...

Pandering bastard.

Dr.Salt said...

I feel like I like him. The birds seem to like him. Maybe I should just go with the flow.

gibsongirl said...

I for one am feeling patronized by this bastard. Damn you patronizing Gazelle. Nobody likes a smart ass.

Brooke said...

I paid one of those birds to shit on you, gazelle. So there.

Wee Laura said...

Proving your popularity with birds is not gonna get you Barack Obama's senate seat. Those same birds took about a dozen pictures with Tammy Duckworth *and* Jesse Jackson, Jr. Those birds are whores. You shoulda got wise & took your pic with $50,000 in cash. Idiot gazelle.

Beth said...

Gazelle, you are an attention whore. I am ignoring you. Look at you, getting your kicks from a bunch of birdbrains, just like a typical attention whore!

JF said...

Interspecies week reveals the true nature of these 'cute' animals who pander for our attention. They'll work together to bring us down if we don't expose them and take a stand NOW.

terrybttb said...

Gazelle, I know that this is a desperate cry for help. Don't think that you can guilt me in to loving you. It won't work! I don't love you and never will.

merider (M.E.-rider) said...

Well, the Gazelle does get points for knowing how to pose perfectly (and those eyes...oh, my). I take more issue with the birds, personally...their the true little attention whores.

CInAz said...

The eyes; that little smile, it's almost a sneer, but not quite. Mocking, mocking.

Russ said...

Stupid birds. They might be eating a little snack of parasites from that stupid gazelle's hide in that picture, but really SMART birds would wait until AFTER the lion kills the gazelle to settle in for a meal.

wombat said...

Argh, those kissy-kissy birds on your face, Gazelle.... you make me sick.

Peter and Stephanie said...

thats not a real gazelle. it's a statue covered in birdseed.

Dunesdreamer said...

Peter and Stephanie said:
thats not a real gazelle. it's a statue covered in birdseed.

Ch-Ch-Ch-fuckin'-Chia!

banquet manager said...

When I first came across your blog I had two thoughts: 1) great title 2) I thought it had to do with waiters. You see, as a banquet manager, I'm used to the waiter nickname of penguin. Great blog though, good luck.
So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager

Shannon said...

I love this freaking blog!

Jackie said...

Smells desperate.
And delicious.
You probably taste like venison, right, Gazelle?

hutch1200 said...

You conceited piece of shit. You think other animals exist for you to use as accessories? I'd like to grow a tail, but I won't shove a cat up my ass! Hopefully you'll decide to add a "BOA"!

skwilli said...

Attention hogs belong in Hollywood.

j said...

not to rain on this parade. but i'm pretty sure that's an impala.

Talk With No Thought said...

Impala, gazelle. Tomayto, Tomahto. Either way this isn't a disney movie and the birds are a bit much, no?

Jackie said...

@j
and who the fuck are you, mister gazelle apologist!
yeah, you're raining on our parade all right.
now i'm gonna rain on yours...
with pee pee!

~e said...

Being hyped in Wedding Gospels doesn't mean you've earned MY respect, Gazelle. F off.

Caleb Powell said...

This is some funny shit. I'm new here, but I'll check in from time to time.

Sooz said...

They are called tick birds and usually are sitting on a rhino's ass.

Sooz

WHERE WE TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS said...

Gazelle. Just sounds stupid.

Technogeekboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Technogeekboy said...

I believe those birds actually hunted and are now killing the gazelle. It's a horrifying scene and I have to go throw up.

Still Stacy said...

He's totally going to make one of those birds get him a bottle of Avian. Asshole. Gazelle's are supposed to drink from urine and feces laden waterholes. I hope he fucking loses the election. YOU'RE SAFARI HOR D'OEUVRES FERKRISAKE!!

Madex said...

Looks like this Gazelle needs dismissing. Like they do on dismissedblog.com

ummmmheyyyy said...

gazelles must
A) taste delicious, or
B) be really soft to stand on. SETTLED, i am posting a Wanted: Gazelle Carpet on Craigslist

Mr.Corder said...

I would like to eat the gazelle...the birds could act like spices.
MCorder
MJCorder.com

Handbasket to Hell said...

Best Pet Blog? Who's dick did you suck to even get nominated?

Amy said...

This blog rocks the whole damn casbah.

adam said...

Fuck you! Suck my fucking big fat donkey dick you gazelle! I hate you and your fucking birds! Fuck fuck fuck fuck I want to fuck a gazelle!

malte said...

I think you should take a closer look at the birds ... At a given signal they will peck and eat the gazell. I think the gazell deserves it, but still the birds are annoying *we can fly, but you can't, stupid grass eater looser*.

Scooby Rantankerous said...

Hmmm....Just a little more cleavage and you would have had me.

Nigel, Sola and Co. said...

Gazelles always take the easy way out...slackers.

jasolater said...

Gazelles fucking piss me off!!

quantumfauxpas said...

Gazelle, you are indeed a whore. What's next? Interspecies erotica? I hate you, gazelle.

The Beautiful Kind said...

Personally I'm glad they are birds and not lions. That would be Cute OverKILL.

Meeg said...

Someone's been watching ANTM.

Sarah said...

amazing.

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a north pacific giant octopus is going to kill me said...

Oh, hello, Fuck You, Penguin. Where have you been all my life?