Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Giraffes don't know when their 15 minutes are up

>>ANIMALS IN THE NEWS WEEK<<
Hey buddy, I know the San Francisco zoo where you were born was very excited, and you got some national attention. I bet people even told you you had potential. I have to admit, I even almost fell for it. But you were born two weeks ago, and it's over now, I've moved on. I'm sure you're bummed, but they are trying to take a picture of your mom's torso. GET OUT OF THE FRAME, BABY GIRAFFE. I know what it's like. I was a baby once, and you really do get everything handed to you. I didn't even have to go to the bathroom to relieve myself! But the news cycle is a cruel mistress, and let's face it, there are other babies out there to photograph.

Hey, don't be so sad, maybe in a little while you'll come up with, like, a really cool dance trend, or the cure for cancer. Oh wait. I forgot. You're a fucking giraffe. Oh well, at least you can reach those high leaves. You'll make it somehow, Baby Giraffe. Now stop looking at me like that.

37 comments:

Kristen said...

Is this dumbass the only being on the planet not to jump all over the octuplet gig? He should just be happy no one's calling his mom a retard.

Walter said...

Maybe he should try for a the next big dance craze. I don't know if giraffes dance, but if they do, I bet it's some damn fine foot work.

Tim McNutt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dunesdreamer said...

That's two giraffes? And here I thought you had some real talent as a contortionist. I hope you get laryngitis.

kimber p said...

oh...I see what you're doing. You're practising your Angelina pout, aren't you?
Lame. I'd say you look more like Jeff Goldblum right before he turns into the Fly...

Mame said...

Hey, babystalk, your ears are going to look RIDICULOUS until those horns grow in...

Heather said...

OSWALD. The name is Oswald, thank you very much.

HC said...

What a cute goofy face...

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic said...

I think it's about to spit at the cameraman...

S. Brykczynski said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
S. Brykczynski said...

Um haven't you read "giraffes can't dance" by Giles Andreae?
It's about a young giraffe who starts a big dance craze......
*ahem*

KBMarty said...

I saw an insipid girl the other day wearing a giraffe print jacket.

It is even uglier on you, baby giraffe!

Get a new pattern, you dummy!

What are you trying to blend in with anyway?

If the sky was yellow with ugly brown spots, you may be able to hide better, but it's blue! You should be blue with white puffy cloud spots, you tall retard, baby giraffe!

Kafka Stole My Bike said...

Tuck in your adorable lower lip, punk! No one wants to see your faded "camouflage" - its not even darkened in yet! I bet you're really awkward when you walk. You wouldn't make it 45 minutes in the military!

But then again, neither would I: I was 40 minutes late to work, and have spent the first hour surfing the internet.

Touche, baby giraffe. Well played....

null said...

Dude totally looks like a d-bag, all smug and pleased with himself. I bet if giraffes wore polos, his collar would be popped. Srlsy, not cool.

Becky said...

not to upset you or anything...have you seen this?

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2009/02/10/asia/AS-Australia-Wildfires-Koala-Rescue.php

love your site!!

Bobby Crotch said...

I don't see how being a giraffe limit's really cool dance trend potential. Maybe it could tango with a kid on crutches. I imagine content like that would be right at home somewhere in NBC primetime.

melouise said...

Someone outta smack that smirk right off this twerp's face and put some underwear on Ma.

Gah, flashbacking to Britney at the gas pumps!

hirakendu said...

;-)

Not With a Whimper said...

Are those supposed to be eyes, Giraffe?

Huh?

'Cause they look like bull balls hanging off your stupid face. You look like Nancy Pelosi.

I'm talking to you, liver lips!

You think I'm afraid of you?

Whyncha get out the Serengeti Nat. Park and come to Jersey City? Huh? Then we'd see how tough you are.

I'm sorry that you are a protected species. I'd like to pop a cap in your ass.

Johnny Utah said...

It looks like the Giraffe Chrissy bought when she, Jack & Janet had all that money.

Jayson Awesome said...

once I took a pen and tried to navigate my way from a giraffe's face to his tale by drawing a constant line in between the spots.
It's like that game on the place mat at Denny's that they give to little kids to keep them from going crazy in the restaurant forcing their parents to beat them with their skillet or Moons Over My-Hammy. Child abuse is not a joke.

Gutter Dog said...

Hilarious...love it.

www.gutterdog.blogspot.com

It's All Good said...

stop it...just stop!

Laughing Soul said...

I hope you get a sore throat you fucking long necked freak!

Jeff said...

If you guys want to see a REAL baby giraffe, come to San Diego. Our zookeepers prevent this kind of bullshit from the git go.

Olympia said...

Alex Balk...

Is that you?

jennifer said...

I read GIRAFFES CAN'T DANCE and it's awesome.. and i happen to have an affinity for giraffes so this jackass need to shut the hell up...thankyouverymuch....
and good-day.

jc said...

And there's always some competition to name the damn thing, too. I submit: Youbet. "The name is Giraffe, Youbet Giraffe"

ummmmheyyyy said...

It would be worth your while to Google "Giraffes fighting on Youtube."

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ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
alim satim alis veris
alim satim alis veristhanks

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli panelgelSesli Chat panellerigor
SeslipanelsendeSesli sohbet panelleribize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
Sohbet panelleribeklemeChat panelleriyoksa
panelpismandunya panelolursun
speaky panelamaSpeakypanelis isten
sesli sohbetgecmissesli chatolacak thanks.
diyarbakirgecmisdiyarbakir gazeteleri
Sesli şehir Seslişehir
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks
Sesli SohbetsendeSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetdurmaSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks

By_Karizma said...

Oh, thank you Sesli sohbet for sharing! I'm in the midst of wedding planning, Camfrog 18 Odalar and both my fiance and I are NOT cake lovers, and can't imagine spending hundreds of dollars on one dessert we don't even like! Forum | Video | Site Map We're planning on doing a buffet of family recipes Sohbet Ruleti, Chat Ruleti pies, cookies, cheesecake, etc - and some of our favorite candies in apothecary jars :) I love to see that
others are SesliSohbet, Sesli Sohbet thinking out of the [cake] box, too!