Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Rare animals can be a real drag


Thanks a lot Zoological Society of London. Yesterday, I had no idea the long-eared jerboa existed. Today, he's hopping around all over like he owns the fucking joint. Well here's a little bit of info now that you are on the big stage, Long-eared Jerboa: I don't need you, the people don't need you, and you sure as hell aren't going to get special treatment from me just because you are a combination of a mouse and a kangaroo with a little bit of giant ears thrown in just to be fucking difficult. And why are all the pictures of you at night? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, JERBOA? Whatever. I was living my life long before I knew what you were, Long-eared Jerboa, and I will go on living my life long after I have set you as my desktop picture.

66 comments:

Jezebel said...

Come on Jerboa! Who do you think you are? I'm not buying your whole cuter-than-thou act. You're just a freak of nature. A fucking adorable freak of nature! That't all. You just keep living your life in the dark where I can't see you!

me melodia said...

awesome.

gregoryyy said...

Huh.I see that surprised look mid-hop.As if your the only animal out at night.No one else in the animal kingdom is up but "me".

Wrong.

All weekend i was able to recover from the //Animals in the news Week// and now this.

Why do you have to try and scare the shit out of me!!!Put those things down damn you.Please??

Miles Grant said...

Hey, Jerboa! I know you can hear me.You think you're all that with your "filmed for the first time against a breathtaking sunset" self? Yeah, with an attitude like that, they should call you a Jerk-boa! OH SNAP.

*Nic* said...

I apologize for my people discovering such a ridiculously cute animal. It's not fair, and we know it.

jake said...

I will bet that this jerbilbalboa is either going to fly at us like Dumbo, or he will land on us and suck our blood like a vampy. It can't be trusted! Someone squeeze-hug it to death before it's too late...

krys said...

my only living hope is that a ring tailed lemur comes out of nowhere and teaches you a lesson you will not soon forget....jerk

Walter said...

What a rude rodent. Hopping everywhere like owns the copyright to cute hopping.

Mame said...

Uh, don't look now but there's a bat (with bigger ears) right behind you. Good night!

Welcome back, FUP! We missed you!

Drewby said...

Kangaroo or mouse, Jerboa? Get off the fucking fence!

Insults said...

Jeroba, Jeroba, Jeroba. You make me sick to my very core.

Cheapus said...

It probably thinks it's Batman.

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic said...

That last coment was by me, by the way. God damn this site for logging me out all the time because I dare to have more than one email account...

dcgrrl said...

If I was as schizophrenic as this Jerboa thang I'd lose my job. No wonder it's a nightcrawler, er, nighthopper.

Deux-Deux-Deux said...

Not only will type horrible things about you, you unfairly adorable creature, but I will whisper them, knowing full well that with your enormous ears, you can hear me halfway across the planet.

Not Scarlett said...

I'm a traitor. I want one. Now.

electricbetty said...

Smug little pageant-quality mini-mammal.

blasianFMA said...

I figure the same thing. My life was completely fine before I met that damned Jerboa, and it will be completely fine long after I forget who he is.

megan said...

Jesus fucking christ, Jerboa! My heart started racing and I nearly hyperventilated just from the picture! As if that wasn't bad enough, I think I sprained my finger from how fast and forcefully I rightclick-saved this picture. What are you trying to do, kill me? Really, Jerboa... you may be small but you're a huge fucking asshole.

UA said...

Make up your mind, you little asshole. Are you a bat or a midget jack rabbit. In the meantime, go fuck yourself, you cute little shit.

Jeff Wilk said...

He's kinda cute....for an asshole.

MeanWillieGreen said...

douche!

HC said...

Haha, great u just gotta luv those long ears... :-P

Kafka Stole My Bike said...

A) You're cute.
B) You're little.
C) You're soft.

What a jerk! I don't have any of these qualities! QUIT MOCKING ME PUNK!

kimber p said...

I'm tryin so hard to come up with something evil and mean to the little furry boo-boo head, but I can't come up with anything other than furry face little munchkin head that I want to pick up and kiss on his teeny little toes. I'm a failure....a miserable failure...

Noob Mommy said...

What? You want a theme park too? No way in hell buddy.

LAF said...

Oh, man! You've all been deceived! This is right up there with the War of the Worlds hoax. That thing isn't a dman Jerboa..it's a freakin' RABBIT disguised as a Jerboa. Knownst to me, but unbeknownst to you, that critter is just trying to hide from Elmer Fudd. It really creeps me out that animals are so devious and YOU PEOPLE FALL FOR IT!!!!! Lord help you all.

Kristen said...

i love it when fuck you panda nails an animal that has shown up in my science curriculum.
they think they're all that and then....bam!

SunnyHorse said...

So I just want to say that we should be careful not to be fooled. These beasts are getting to us, we're falling for it!!! Don't give in... RESIST!!!! Who the hell do they think they are anyway? A hank of fur and big ears doesn't count for much anyway... just remember that we have all been warned about furry creatures... I am particularly reminded of a grim, horrible monster who guarded the mouth of a magical cave... and the warnings of the great wizard TIM. Please don't give into temptation!

Melody sez said...

I would like to see this jerboa put on the Ritz a bit!

I would like to put some piercings in his ears! Hoops! I think I would also like to make him some hightop leather basketball shoes as well...pink of course! No socks!

This is all I am going to say about this matter right here!

Melody!

Melody sez said...

No! Come to think of it, I do have more to say about this matter!

I will need 10 jerboas! I need 5 with short ears and 5 with the long ones! I will start a travelling show of jerboa basketball-long eared ones versus the short eared ones! I will call this travelling show, MELODY'S JERBOA BASKETBALL PALOOZA! We will play shirts versus skins to make sure we can tell the difference between the ones with the long ears and the ones with the short ears because some people need glasses!

Eat your carrots!

Melody!

four said...

the hell is that? a hobbit rat?

DJ said...

Where the hell have you been? Did I say you could take a fucking vacation?
Christ, I had to resort to making snarky comments to my neighbor's dog while you were gone.

Keeper Of All Things said...

OMG!!!!
Does it turn ugly if you feed it after midnight?

Selina said...

Haha this thing is even more crazy looking than a platypus!

FitzFinn said...

Nice try, Jerboa...thinking that making your debut AFTER Desperaux hits theatres and gets all our panties in a bunch would pave the way for you. Pictures like this should be banned from all viewing. Except the one I'm downloading to my iphone.

Sethjj1975 said...

This isn't Pokemon.
You're not Pikachu.
I don't you choose you.

Thanks, for fucking up a perfectly good Tuesday.

Twat.

Sethjj1975 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
How To Eat A Cupcake said...

Aww he's SO cute! Hahaha thanks for the comment @ my blog. Tell your fat jeans I said hi! Lol... but tell them to stay put in the top of the closet!

I Punched A Werewolf in the Face said...

Jeroba is f'ing up stuff for regular rats everywhere.

I Punched A Werewolf in the Face said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Don't call me Kat said...

Fucker.

'JA HEAR THAT LIL DEWD??? I CALLED YOU A FUCKER!

harumphfs away from computer:::

Laughing Soul said...

Come On Jerboa! What? are you too cute to be able to pick out exactly what kind of an animal you want to be.
PICK ONE and get over yourself!

Meredith said...

Ohhhh I missed you

Nola said...

He does look like Desperueax. I bet the film's advertising agency hired a rat to wear big ears and prance around in efforts to draw bigger crowds.
You're a fraud Jerboa! A FRAUD!

Dunesdreamer said...

I thought for sure W. was moving to Dallas after he left office....

hirakendu said...

;-)

Christine said...

OMG.

I MUST have one.

♥ xtine
http://stuffbyxtine.blogspot.com

susanschaefer said...

Jerboa, fuck your fucking ears! In addition, FUCK your fucking long ass hairless tail with the "cute" tassel at the end!

Peta said...

by the way everyone - the jerboa gets worse: http://jacknovak.com/jerboa2%5B1%5D.jpg

Allgaul said...

That is not a real animal, it is a wind-up toy! A real cute wind-up toy that I am going right out and buying!

Kathy said...

Hey, LEJ!! Get hooked back here to my computer where you belong! And drop the ears. Halloween is so over! Don't think I don't recognize you! When I put you in the case for that trip and then got there without a mouse, I was more than a little ticked off. And now here you are with your cute picture everywhere on the www. Get over yourself...sigh...holy cow, you ARE cute, aren't you? But you still have to work!

babbler said...

Here's to Peta for posting that awful, over the top cute and dangerous picture! Did the Jerboa put you up to this? You were forced at tailpoint, perhaps...Wow! I was getting sensitized to the FUP picture, and now you hit me with the big guns. I give up. I'm mush. The world is no longer safe....click on that post if you dare, you have been been warned!

OzarkTroutBum said...

My sainted mother was part Jerboa.

We couldn't get away with ANYTHING!

ebbye said...

adorable freak of nature. Ha ha

Blogger321 said...

Too cute.....must control urge to hurt cute mouse....kitten cuteness in grave danger....must protect cute kkkkkkkkkkiiiittttteeeennn.....aaawwww look at the cute mouse with the big ears. aaawwww.....must kill cute kitten.

Charlesbridge said...

What did you do with the short-eared Jerboa?

MaisoOoOoOoOoOn said...

hahahaahahah looks like pikachu!!

the letters i wish i'd written said...

Oh Jesus, I'm gonna have to check under my bed before sleeping...

nltisme said...

I'd date one.....

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