Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Show-boating pangolins walk right into it


HOLY SHIT, PANGOLIN, LOOK OUT, THAT'S A SPIKY TREE AND YOU ARE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF!!!

Oh. Oh, no. I see what's going on here. Goddammit, Pangolin, you are in the middle of the jungle. There's no reason to be a fucking show off. You know, Pangolin, I was going to let you slide. Your entire body is covered in fingernails, so that can't possibly be pleasant. And while you do curl up into a ball, at least you aren't a fucking armadillo (don't think I'm not onto you, Armadillo). But you had to go and dance up your little danger pole, and you had to do it with a big fat smile on your non-reptilian face. So when you are up there in the tree and you can't figure out how to get down, don't bother asking for my help, Pangolin. Because you can go to hell.

44 comments:

HC said...

I love animals, but Pangolin you are so f***** ugly...

Galatea said...

I really want to kick that pangolin ball.

Wes said...

These half and half creatures are creepy. You and the platypus, are you mammal or do you lay eggs? Pick a side!

Joey said...

Made out of fingernails? And you didn't even have the class to paint them?! Take some time, Pangolin. Show some class, I implore you.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

I don't think he is doing a danger pole dance. That right there my friend is pole-dancing. Animal kingdom style.

Goddamn Pangolin is a delusional little bitch that thinks he is sexy.

Well you're not Pangolin! You're not!!

reidwords said...

Wow. An actual dinosaur-mammal-anteater-rodent tree crawler. So cute it's nauseating, so weird I can't even tell what I'm feeling right now. Nice work, FUP.

Tim McNutt said...

That can't be a real animal, not a chance. It looks like someone dropped a deuce inside a discarded snake skin then put some of those sticker eyes on it. Whoever the sick fuck is that created this creature should go back to making macaroni collages of Ed Gein.

*Nic* said...

Is that thing even real? It looks like a freakin cartoon.

jg3 said...

At first I'm all like, "what the fuck is a Pangolin? Is that a typo?" But no, I see now they're for real and they're endangered (possibly because some people mistakenly think they neutralize evil spirits). But I think they neutralize them with cute.

MELODY SEZ said...

I do not understand why any self-respecting pangolin would go out of doors with out any polish! This silly! Stop by a salon or something! Back scratchers my be a sexy alternative for this pangolin!
This pangolin must be depressed or some thing like that! That is what must be going on here with this pangolin!

Insults said...

This is hilarious! That Pangolin can suck my ass.

Sara Jo said...

That's kinda gross.

Jeff said...

This fucking pangolin clearly deserves a good hip check right into that spiky tree.

melouise said...

OMG, it's a fucking purse in a tree!!

Need baby one for matching wallet.

Matthew and Andrew said...

the bono of animals, always trying to show-off.....fuckin armadillo-like things.

you will all love this
http://radiofreefl.blogspot.com/

G double dash LOC said...

This proves that aliens are among us. Go back to planet assclown Pangolin.

Mame said...

I've been dreading this day. Since the wrinkly little bastard baby anteater showed up I knew it was only a matter of time.

Now I am living in fear of the baby Malayan Tapir and baby Okapis.

Go easy on us critters, we're only human.

idiotdog.blogspot.com

Raving MainyYak said...

Pangolin, just let me at you with a Peticure! Then we'll see who thinks they're so damned cute! You armor-plated rat!

Dunesdreamer said...

If Wilson had been a soccer ball...

Walter said...

Why don't you go eat some goddamn ants. And while you're at it, put on a pair of pants. No one wants to see your fingernaily junk.

LongestRoad said...

Pangolin? Where do these things come from?

goeastyoungwomantodubai said...

Wow. That's a new animal for me.

How weird is the curling up into a ball thing? We have little beetle-insect thingies in Australia that do exactly the same thing.

I think Pangolins are what girl Tyrannasaurs used for handbags.

Misha said...

And you're not even remotely cute!

Mia said...

a real-live popple.

Mia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dolphin Hater said...

A friend emailed me this and thought of this joint.


http://therecord.blogs.com/fizz/2009/02/cooling-off-koalastyle.html


Peace.
Dolphins suck
http://1001thingsnottodobeforeyoudie.blogspot.com/

ummmmheyyyy said...

That's not a smile. That's barbecue sauce from his secret McDonald's binge.

ChuckFan said...

Dear Commenters: Your comments are not funny, stop pretending like you are as funny as the author of this blog. If you think that you are funny, start your own animal comment blog and see how many people like it.......

Awesome Sara said...

its so ugly, i want one. get it for me.

i just found you and your blog. i am diggin' it.

delusiongirl said...

Did you see this?! They walk on two legs. And you thought climbing a tree was showboating!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btkVS7uYNwM&NR=1

Ishmael said...

Is this the start of fake animals week? WTF?

hirakendu said...

;-)

Christina said...

ok. i thought the opossum was the huge mistake of aesthetics by nature. but now i see an opossum made of FINGERNAILS, and i'm starting to believe its all being done on purpose. (on porpoise, perhaps?)

paulix said...

Pangolin babies crawl around on their mommy's tale. Give me a break, stop trying to be so goddamn cute!
http://savepangolins.org/what-is-a-pangolin#Reproduction

FrodoSaves said...

What the fuck is a pangolin?

Sounds like a late medieval stringed instrument.

"Did you remember your lute?"
"I couldn't find it, but I brought my pangolin!"

Ney Noune said...

Pangolins are endangered...and no wonder. He is standing on a fucking spiney tree...

But serious, they are endangered, and it is sad.

peter.w said...

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JJ said...

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