Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Baby flamingos make my job less fun


Hey Baby Flamingo, where did you get those giant ass legs, THE OVERSIZED LEG DEPARTMENT.

Wait, hold on. This doesn't feel right.

Sigh.

Baby Flamingo, your legs are really just too big. I mean, there's comically big, and then there's ridiculous. Here I am, trying to tell you off and make the world a better place, but those legs are so giant and you look so ridiculously helpless because of them that you are practically telling yourself off. And then what did you think? "This isn't enough, I need to stand next to a grown-up flamingo, but only so that you can see its still comical but entirely acceptable long pink leg." WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HAPPY MEDIUM, FLAMINGO. I bet you would still be driving around in a Hummer if your legs would even allow you to fit inside a car, much less drive one. Well you can't have my Hummer, Baby Flamingo, and I certainly won't be adding you as a co-author to my blog, you spotlight-hogging asshole.

51 comments:

Sarah Booz said...

Poor Baby Flamingo

angela said...

Oh, for chrissakes, this blog is brilliant.

Steph said...

That just ain't right.

Emerson Marks said...

They are not legs, they are shinty sticks. Pathetic, you couldn't even develop a pair of legs that resemble a piece of sporting equipment that the world's actually heard of. How about over the next 30 to 50 thousand years you do something useful, like evolve some legs that look like tennis rackets.

Gojiro said...

Is that baby flamingo kneeling backwards?

Show off.

Insults said...

That Baby Flamingo has got some nerve. Does it not realise some of us have short legs and can't do anything about it. He's just taking the piss.

Dunesdreamer said...

You know what they say: Big legs, big......

That Girl said...

aww its like the clown shoes of the animal kingdom.

skwilli said...

And your knees are backward, bro!

Life With Dogs said...

Let him have it, he looks way too pathetic to escape your wrath...

Dr. Jay SW said...

Yeah, fuck that baby flamingo...bloggers have enough of a tough time as it is without his kinda bullshit....

ThomasShaped said...

I park my Hummer on this guy's frickin' legs. See how he likes it then!

Jezebel said...

There always has to be an asshole, right Baby Flamingo? And it might as well be you. Good luck with your grotesqueness.

Paper_Dresses said...

forget the morning papers...FUP is all I need to know!!!

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

its even more redic that they turn pink from eating shrimp......

why is everyone trying to be pink??

love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

gregoryyy said...

Damn it.

This was one of the best yet,fucking brilliant.

Happy Medium? Hummer?

Holy shit,this made my week.Thanks.

Jeff Wilk said...

Considering the economy, I bet that little shit can get a Hummer pretty cheap. And then solicit donations for some long legged driver's seat adaption.

Christine said...

Forget his legs. He's so cute and white and fuzzy.

That fucker.

♥ xtine
http://stuffbyxtine.blogspot.com

geekbride said...

Yoga practicin' douchebag.
I need to take him home with me so I can hold him in my lap and pet him. Oh! While I yell flamingo slurs at him, of course.

melouise said...

Benjamin Button was a flamingo???

rob-t-firefly said...

For crying out loud, baby flamingo, did Don Martin draw you or something?

HC said...

OMG, that really is riciculously big! I feel so sorry for this baby... How is it possible to walk with legs like that?

Allgaul said...

If they start coming out with these little BASTARDS in teal or better yet magenta, watch out pink dolphin! How do you like your market share now?

cassaundra said...

man he's got it rough.

imagine if a predator came for him?
how in the sweet name is jesus would he escape?

.. i think we know how this story would end.

gregoryyy said...

Baby Flamingo,I've had some time to calm down, some, since viewing your photo earlier. And I noticed something. Something troublesome.

What's with the glean in your eye??!!!

You are looking at me as if I gave you those legs. Guess what? It was your Momma ,and she is right behind y-o-u.I am glad I gave that salmon to the mailbag otter.

Jerry T. said...

WTF? Did that pink dolphin steal the baby flamingo's...pinkment???

Dr. No said...

It's OK baby flamingo, I won't hurt you. That's right just waddle a little closer, little closer, little closer. Now open up, I have a gullet filled with half digested shrimp to vomit into your mouth. You know you want it!

yellowdog granny said...

with legs like that? how the hell did they ever have sex to have that ugly little critter?

May said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
May said...

That looks painful, but then again, maybe Baby Flamingo is training to become a yoga master.

debaucheryandsloth said...

Come on, Pelican!

Wildwoods Retreat said...

Pink stuff again...commies pretending innocence before taking over the world.

On second thought, perhaps it is just evolution run amuck.

hirakendu said...

;)

Kai said...

That is one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. Poor thing!

cermedes said...

two words baby flamingo: "white" & "nerdy".

Heather said...

New to your blog - I visited because of the title and now I can't stop laughing especially at "Hey Baby Flamingo, where did you get those giant ass legs, THE OVERSIZED LEG DEPARTMENT"

Evil Monk said...

One of your finest posts to date...

[ J ] said...

Dear Baby Flamingo,

Grow up and get a job.


Regards,
Everyone

*moggit girls said...

We get you.

You complete us.

Joy and Janet
the moggit girls

Adrian said...

That was unbelievably funny. Thanks for it.

Kelley at My Island Wedding said...

this might be the first photo i've ever seen of a baby flamingo.

it does almost seem as if he posed himself just close enough to mom to make his legs look even sillier.

poor thing.

Vera said...

Those are actually his feet. And what you think are his knees are actually his ankles.

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