Thursday, March 26, 2009

I actually feel bad for this guy


We place a lot of blame on the animals on this blog, and yeah, this dude has his tail curled up over his body and he's fitting on the top of a rose which basically makes me want to JUMP UP AND DOWN AND RUN INTO THE STREET WAVING A GUN SHOUTING "IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS."

But the truth is the dormouse didn't fall asleep in the rose, he was put there by the photographer, a person he thought was his friend. They were having a late night hanging out, and the dormouse had a little too much to drink and fell asleep. At first the other guys were doing stupid shit like putting Cheetos all over him and putting his hand in warm water so he would wet the bed, but then this one dude came up with the idea to curl up his tail and sit him in the middle of a rose. Now he's an internet sensation, and next month he is going on the market for a ladyfriend. Do you really think with stuff like this out there, it's going to be easy to find someone who respects him?

Not cool, photographer. Not fucking cool.

59 comments:

Ms Unreliable said...

The bastards even named him "Dreamy". Callous mofos.

Meredith said...

I want to chew on his jerky foot

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic said...

Shameful.

Shimmy said...

Fuck you, photographer. All has happened before and will happen again. End of line.

Pizza Girl said...

Dude, next time lay off the tequila! You're lucky it wasn't the sharpie all over your face again (though that was hilarious last time!)

R.evolution Of Our Time said...

Bed of roses is not what it sounds like.

Lynne said...

It's so fucking cute, I could puke.
I've been lurking for a while - this blog is hysterical.

Ches said...

I actually had a pet dormouse. Little fucker took off, haven't heard from him since!

Melody sez said...

I like this dormouse! It think that more than likely, that me and this here dormouse would probably be pretty good friends! As far as I can tell anyway!

furiousBall said...

boy, i'm jealous, i've always wanted to wake up smelling my own butthole and feet

Quercus said...

OOOOHHH... a rodent rolled into a cute little ball! How original! Well I'm not falling for it!
*sniff* Aww...
OK. I fell for it. He's just lucky he's not an edible dormouse.

The Silver Spring Penguin said...

I'm not willing to let the dormouse off so easy. If he'd handled his liquor better, he wouldn't have found himself in this mess. Fucking lightweight.

loosegrape said...

You call it a camera. I call it a WMD. You’ve totally fucked this little guy’s chances. A rose??? Any lady dormouse who sees this will have one thought: Pussy.

2 Non-CEO's (Jay & Daniel) said...

He deserves every little thing he gets - the stupid a**hole.

Erin said...

That link you've posted goes to what my computer is calling a "reported attack site." What the hell?

Cherlindrea said...

It gets worse, next the wildlife people that rescued him from the photographer is putting him in a coconut to sleep in. The poor guy just never gets a break!

Jezebel said...

Two assholes for the price of one? That's fucking great. What the hell is a dor anyway Dormouse? Is it short for dorkus extremus? If I could, I would spit in your face Dormouse. And if I ever see you in public, photographer, I'm gonna bitch slap you! Believe it!

HC said...

This picture is made by Richard Austin the photographer of the most cutest things on earth!

erininanotherplace said...

As soon as we start pissing off the animals,
that's when they're all going to bond together and fucking come to KILL US.

melouise said...

Shush. Let da widdle thing sleep.

Then slam him and that rose in a book later on and let them dry for a month.

Resulting "Pressed Flower and Dormouse" picture will be framed and sit on my mantle.

maggie! said...

i bet this dipshit photographer also made this his default on eharmony...
real nice photographer... what the hell is wrong with you?!?!

Kellie said...

Very true. I feel so bad for him that he was used like that. Also, I feel bad for him that he obviously has to smell his own farts while asleep. Not cool dormouse.

*Nic* said...

Haha! Poor lil thing!!

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

just wait for the glitter graphic on this to pop up as the next biggest MySpace comment

sincere regret,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

cassaundra said...

that adorable, little punk.

electricbetty said...

only one thing to say about this: Photoshop, bitches!

Roxie said...

he was their friend

.....





































HE WAS THEIR FRIEND![/HPPoA]

KeesKennis said...

All "Animal lovers", are suspect

Tee said...

You know I worked my ass off to make payments on my sleep number mattress, had to wait forever for its delivery, had to fiddle around to find my right number and get it all comfy...and as soon as I get it all sorted out and I'm finally having a restful slumber...here comes this asshole sleeping on a rose to show me just how green the grass is on the other side! Thanks MEffer!

Walter said...

That ohotographer should be locked up.

- El Tecnosexual. said...

FUCK YOU MOUSE

Kim said...

Jerk photographer didn't even leave any room to tuck the dudes Dignity in with him. At least that way the Dormouse could have brushed it off for next time. Now there is. no. hope.

It's All Good said...

I feel sorry for him too.

No one ever curls me up and puts me on a rose when I'm drunk, they usually just throw a blanket on me. I have it made compared to this guy....

[ J ] said...

Dear Dormouse,

Next time you go drinking, please be aware of your dangerous surroundings.


Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/

Fragrant Liar said...

I'm sorry, but that itty bitty mini-guy is precious. I wanna pick him up and cuddle him and kiss on him and all that cutesy stuff, so stop fucking with him.

Muppet Soul said...

Someone did that to me, once.

svasti said...

Now here's a little critter you need to be telling it straight to!

clubwah said...

That's just like that photgrapher Anne Geddes who exploited children by dressing them up as bees and putting them in watering cans! Those kids would be young adults now and are probably seriously damaged.

hirakendu said...

;)

b lorenz said...

lol

Kelsey said...

1. I totally agree with clubwah- Anne Geddes must be stopped.

2. I noticed this in the article: "But his blissful slumber was rudely interrupted by a dog."

What an asshole. Dormouse was trying to sleep off his hangover, and that asshat comes along. Jerk.

Evil Monk said...

This is what happens when you "befriend" the Media. Learn your lesson you jerk!

SweetPeaSurry said...

I think the photog should be required to grow a tail and shove a thorny rose up his arse for a photo op. Oh yeah ... that poor little mousey guy, never knew what hit him, right? Am I right?

Yeah ... I am

Hilrious blog!

Insults said...

I once sat that little fucking mouse on my ass-hole. Photograph that.

Dunesdreamer said...

Damn good thing Shakespeare didn't see this photo, or we might have ended up with something like:

O, be some other name!/ What's in a name? that which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as a rodent's arse....

pleatherface said...

Just be glad that rose wasn't glistening with dewdrops. He'd never live that shit down.

Ruth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ellie said...

He's trying to lick his own balls.

craficdesign said...

This is the funniest blog evaaahhhh! I'm looking forward to your book coming out in August. It'll make a sweet gift; better yet, it'll be perfect for a curmudgeon like me!

MonaLisa said...

You know what's even LESS fucking cool? That you haven't won a god-forsaken Blogger's Choice Award. I had to get off my lazy ass and nominate you mySELF. Ingrate.

You mighta' won it in China, but who the frig can even TELL? The fuckin' panda ain't talkin'. Hairy little bitch...

Ana R. Barbosa said...

Poor thing!
Nice blog!
=)

BrendaK said...

That...is the cutest thing ever. Diabolically cute. WMD cute.

Jenny B said...

Dormouse is bitesize

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