Thursday, March 12, 2009

Secretly fucked-up animals ruin my day


Oh man, what is this thing? A binturong? THAT NAME IS HILARIOUS!!! Wait, wait, it's also called a bearcat? I love bears, AND I love cats! Oh, wow, you're sleeping... Who's a cute little bearcat? You are, that's who, yes you adora-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK.

What. The. Fuck. Binturong? What's up? I was trying to have a good time. Why do you have to scare the shit out of me? You need to calm down, Binturong, rethink what's going on here. Just 'cause you have a bushy tail and you are named after two all-time animals doesn't mean you can sleep like a cute little bastard and have babies named fucking bintlets (BINTLETS I TELL YOU) and no one will care that you are a fucking psychopath. There are two sides of the animal world, Binturong. You need to pick one.

58 comments:

HC said...

Haha awesome pics...

MoMountainGrrl said...

I went to a college with a Bearcat as the mascot.

I did a little research, and wanna know what these assholes do as their natural defense?

They scream and run away. Coward.

Maybe that's why our football team couldn't win a game.

geekbride said...

Thanks for the nightmares, Binturong. Asshole.

Dr. Jay SW said...

Fuckers like this need to be taught a lesson...fucking bintlets...

XxSix0fHeartsxX said...

frm wikipedia: "It is neither a bear nor a cat, and the real meaning of the original name is lost, as the local language that gave it is extinct[3]"
its like fate is playing "whack a mole" with this dreadful thing.

and its tail is prehensile? bear cat, you uppity fuck.........

Melissa A. Robinson said...

PMS. That is all I am saying.

Kurt said...

You better watch your ass, Biturong. Just because you're adorable doesn't mean you have diplomatic immunity.

Jezebel said...

Way to weave your evil web asshole. Well, you won't catch me. I don't care how unbelievably cute you are, fucking Binturong!

Melody sez said...

That binturong right there, looks like that grandfather man that sells oatmeal and diabetes stuff! At least that is the way I see it!

Keir said...

Looks like it uses different eyes for staring and roaring - that just ain't right.

Tranquil said...

I have reason to believe that you do not infact "Love bears" and "Love Cats".

Kelsey said...

I have a theory. It is a Bearcat when it is all cute and sleeping, and then it's all OH MY FUCKING GOD THE BINTURONG WOKE UP!

wombat said...

The binturong has an odd odor which some people say smells like popcorn.

I believe this scent is meant to disarm the observer: you think you're about to sit down with a snack and a cute Disney movie animal and then OOOOOH SHIIIIIT.

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

anything is better than a baby slender loris
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0dW09Tod2p317/340x.jpg

with sincere apologizes to the amount of cuteness linked above,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

Sue said...

is that dickhead's tongue sticking out of his mouth ever so slightly while he nap? my cat does this sometimes - until i smack the shit out of him...

Pizza Girl said...

Binturong sounds like some sort of South American boogie man. We'll see how much you like it when I sneak up on you in your dreams.

furiousBall said...

i am going to fart in your shitty little nose while you're sleeping.

fucker

yellowdog granny said...

looks like he has a tiny little asshole for a mouth

SecretBlogspot said...

it should be called bintu-WRONG, cuz that dual personality thing is just. plain. wrong.

Dunesdreamer said...

Apparently it can also rotate its hind legs backwards so its claws still have a grip when climbing down trees head first.

Fucking showoff.

Allgaul said...

From that baby bearcat link it says: "They are related to mongoose, but are nocturnal and arboreal (that's tree dwellers who like the night life)."
Yeah, like the night life a little TOO much, doncha Bit-too-wrong. A Little Too Much controlled substances do this to your eyes? Crazy ass animal...

womponnim said...

I heard Bearcats smell like popcorn. Yes, that's right, THEY SMELL LIKE FUCKING POPCORN!

What it’s not good enough to be a hybrid of two adorable creatures now we have to endure your intoxicating scent?! We have to literally have the desire to eat you all up?

Jesus Fucking Christ Binturong, don't you think you're trying a little too hard? It stinks of desperation... and popcorn.

Dr. No said...

Wait,is this the daughter of the the "Crocodile Hunter"? That's fucked up...

Becky said...

HA HA HA I suggested this link!! The baby binturongs tried to take over my brain with their cuteness but I was able to deflect it to FUP, where it was properly dealt with.

Diego said...

Binturong? More like bitch-ur-wrong. And bintlets sound like what Osama Bin Laden would call his children. Coincidence? I think not. Fuck your anti-American ass, you douche.

[ J ] said...

Dear Bearcat,

Stop smoking opium.


Regards,
Everyone

Laura said...

Okay, that little dude looks like he can totally fuck you up.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Bintlets? Like...piglets?

Son of a bitch!! Now it wants to be a bear, a cat and a piglet too?

Greedy little bastard.

Wildwoods Retreat said...

Diego knows a conspiracy when he sees one! Good man. Don't let the cuteness blind you to evil doers

Lamaworks said...

Dude - love your site. great topics.
i posted a article about fighting animals....next thing you know a man gets taken down by a Roo.

http://www.waltsense.com/home/2009/3/10/man-wrestles-kangaroo-from-home.html

Just goes to show my childhood fav animal would go for the kill.

HelenWheels said...

Why the nastiness? It's cute in a weird, yoda-like way & assumes that gives it gets a free pass to be vicious?

That's bintu-Wrong.

hirakendu said...

;)

Kennedy Smith said...

@ Constantly Dramatic

It's BearCatPig! Panic! Call Al Gore! Deceptive little bastards.

My codeword for the day is Comenic, which strikes me as Romanian, indicative of supernatural evil stalking our land in innocent guise.

tea_please said...

Bejeebus! That actually scared me -- it's only 6:40AM.

Hell, *I* screamed and ran away.

kingstreetfarm said...

Funniest FUP post ever.

Ches said...

Ha..this is fucking hilarious!

Shweet blog dude.

Jessica said...

Hey Mountain Grrl -

I dunno if you remember, but we're a University, not a college. Love your school!

We made it to the Orange Bowl this year, and even if we DID lose...it was the power of cuteness of bearcats like THAT ONE that made it so. :)

Tara Rabeumdeay said...

I once knew a bearcat named Andy. He'd get out of his enclosure, and you'd have to wrestle him to get him back in. He smelled funny, and made noises like a tiger cub. The raccoons liked to play with him.

They're bloody awful.

margeauxmargeaux said...

I wanna be a poacher when I grow up

Nikoletta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nikoletta said...

the binturong above is clearly related to the binturong below:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/DSC05941.JPG

Darx said...

I had a children's book called Island of the Skog, and the bintlet in that photo you linked to looks like a Skog. The Skog, now there is an animal who is really working his butt off to scare people!

OzarkTroutBum said...

Its bin way tu rong. Someone had to say something. ..

jrobinson said...

Holy Shit. This is the funniest blog in the entire world. A+. Keep up the fabulous work, you hilarious mother fucker.

KidVermicious said...

That's not a binturong, thats an ROUS.

JACQUELINE TRUONG said...

OH! I couldn't believe myself! He made me do it! I adopted one last year...it wasn't my fault seeeeerrrrrrriiiously!

Eben Lindsey 林杰 said...

Bearcat at the Bronx Zoo

nltisme said...

I wanta bitch slap it, then tell it how sorry I am for doing it!

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