Monday, March 16, 2009

Start fucking, Donkey


AHHHHHHGH. There is a long-haired donkey, and it's named the baudet de poitou? Ho. Lee. Shit. How can there only be 400 of you cute little fuckers!?! This is a serious problem, seeing as I personally need 400 of you. You better find a mate and start knocking boots, Donkey, so you can start sprouting up like American Apparels. I don't understand how you can be such prudes, seeing as you are French. What, are you saving yourself for the right donkey? YOU AREN'T WEARING A FUCKING PROMISE RING, ARE YOU DONKEY? BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BE SERIOUSLY UPSET. Anyway, stop being so picky, you're a donkey. This is serious business, Donkey. Make it happen.

72 comments:

HC said...

Someone needs a haircut!

Ches said...

Fuck thats hilarious!

Heather Cherry said...

LOL, he's a Rasta donkey.

fuzzilu said...

Rasta Donkey Fari mon ... cha!

M@ said...

Maybe they're all gay or something....

Melissa A. Robinson said...

I love that you need your own personal heard of 400 hairy donkeys. :) Bwa ha ha.... that makes me happy. Well, that and the fact that you are now a donkey sex advocate.

Pat said...

Those dreads are all ratty looking, Donkey. Maybe it's time to cut the locks and opt for a weave.

lateefx said...

Love it...keep it coming buddy! (no homo)

Kurt said...

Donkey, I thought we had an agreement. You make those stupid noises and i would just go on hating you. Then you had to pull this shit.

Choppy said...

Fuck you, donkey.

mindy said...

An Ass with dreadlocks?? No!

furiousBall said...

you are so ugly you were turned down for the donkey show

Pizza Girl said...

I think I see a dingleberry in that rat's nest of a haircut. Maybe time for a shave?

Wordnerd said...

Looks like a damn mop.

Alex said...

Haha. That was awesome

gregoryyy said...

Way to go Rasta Donkey,I heard you were broke so I didn't ask for the rest of the money on the messenger bag i sold you.No worries Mon.

You said your back hurt.(?)Well,i don't see you wearing it OR my money.And you look pretty high right there,so i kinda know whats up.

Peace out Donkey.

Dr. No said...

This is what happens when your species specific mating ritual is called the "donkey punch"...

cassaundra said...

ew his hair is so gross.

if that donkey had sex with another donkey it would be like two huge mops going at it.

yucky.

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

sounds like they need to have a heart to heart with the panda's

sincerely,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Excellent fucken Blog!

The_Aitch said...

Oh and yeah, Donkey? Say hello to your mother for me.

Kelly said...

HAHAHA rasta donkey.

electricbetty said...

Who do you think you are, the Jason fucking Castro of donkeys? Yo seriously man you're hot. Go out and get it on. Start with the french girls, they're easy.

loosegrape said...

This is serious, Donkey. What’s it gonna take? Listen, put on some Barry White, open a nice bottle of Château Margaux, lay down a little fresh hay, and then FUCK DAMMIT!

Traycina said...

Maybe she just feels like she's let herself go and wonders "who would want to tap this Ass??"...

melouise said...

Pass the donkey on the left hand side...

cermedes said...

what happened to you donkey? you were so great in marky mark and the donkey bunch. boy, you've really let yourself go. well, say hello to your mutha for me.

Jeff Wilk said...

No wonder there are only 400 of you. With that hair, how can you tell dick from dread?

Kyrie said...

AAAAAAAAAaaahahahahah

it must be a promise bracelet, as they dont have fingers!

gretty said...

Best Post EVER

Roxie said...

THEY COULD AT LEAST TRY!

Sarah Berthume said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Brothers said...

Hmmmm...asslocks?

Quercus said...

I just don't trust a European with dreads... even if he does have a donkey dick.

Wildwoods Retreat said...

Donkey, do you get it? Extinct is as serious as it gets. Wake the f-up. Don't even think about telling us that you are on birth control!

hirakendu said...

;)

Jeff said...

"Maybe she just feels like she's let herself go and wonders "who would want to tap this Ass??"..."

BEST. RESPONSE. EVER.

goeastyoungwomantodubai said...

He got da natty dreads mon!

Dunesdreamer said...

I just took my car through a brushless carwash, and now I know why there are only 400 of those fuckers left....

Jezebel said...

I just threw up into my mouth a little bit.

Bridget said...

best hed ever

michaelscomments said...

Sheesh, like I really needed another reason to hate the French.

Mo Diva said...

This donkey's favorite singer/musician is Bob Marley

Mickie the Trigger said...

I believe the title for this entry should read:

"Fuck, you donkey!"

Tara Rabeumdeay said...

This damn adorable donkey is just holding out for it's own stimulus package.

Graeme said...

that is a donkey in a field of ponies...hope they enjoy the feeling

Jane Doe said...

Rumor has it, Donkey has bunny ancestry.

Keegan Orange said...

What an ugly ass

valkontos said...

New post please!

M.J. said...

I see long haired/ dreadlocked mules in our future.

kingstreetfarm said...

How the HELL do you manage to be so original and so hilarious?! It's amazing. Seriously.

And yes, I am also feeling the need for a bunch of dread donkeys--but I'll take only two and leave the other 398 for you, Oh Wise Fuck You Penguin Author, because that's how much I lurve you.

Insults said...

Fucking hippy bastard.

[ J ] said...

Dear Donkey,

Cut your hair. Get a job. This economy isn't going to fix itself.


Regards,
Everyone

Fred the Donkey said...

It's my long lost brother!!! How ya been bro?....wait, you haven't learned english.....HEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!!!!!

said...

This is a dreadlock rasta dokey. He/she/it looks higher than a muthafucka.

Cookie Everman said...

I just died laughing. Fell over and died.

Will said...

not as cute as the donkey, but close...
http://beefandsage.com/2009/03/manbabies/

Gypsy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nltisme said...

Put on some cologne, fluff up, find a girlie and FOOK my friend....we must have many of you in this world!

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Aspiring Nurse and Writer said...

I was only recently introduced to this website and I have to say it is seriously funny. Out of all your rants, my personal fave is the french donkey.

Nicole K said...

I just came across the book in the store and now I'm addicted. This is probably my favorite one because of the French comment. I'm French and I'm definitely not a prude, so whats your F'ing excuse donkey?!

Katja said...

maybe if they'd wash and groom more often they'd procreate more. Who want's to have sex with a clip on their nose for prolonged periods of time. Take a shower Donkey, put some nice perfume on and VOILA! Sexy Times!

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