Wednesday, March 4, 2009

What the fuck are you looking at?


I see you eyeing me, Armadillo, and I have to say I don't care for it. It's not that weird for me to be interested, YOU ARE AN ARMADILLO IN A BUCKET. Did you think this kind of thing would go unchallenged? The truth of the matter is, armadillos should never be in buckets. We've all seen you out there rolling yourself into a ball, digging holes, and dancing on the internet. An armadillo has to do what an armadillo has to do. But there's no reason you should pop out of that bucket, with your little nose and your big ears and those paws and give me a big stink eye, like, "Yeah, that's right, I'm an armadillo, and I'm inside your fucking bucket." All I have to say is you better get right out of that bucket, Armadillo, and get the HELL out of my face. Your days of weird-looking intimidation are semi-over, Armadillo.

65 comments:

Thank you for visiting! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crys said...

sometimes armadillos have no choice but to pop out of buckets and declare their grandness.

yes, i see grandness in that armadillo.

Doublebanker said...

I think Armadillos give everyone the "eye". Now dancing on the internet is news to me!

Daily Gif Blog

DB

Walter said...

Armadillos: the very definition of ugly cute. Also, a bucket? Really. Get back to the desert.

Dunesdreamer said...

I am sorry to inform you, Mr. Dillo, that the role of Iron Man has been ably filled by Robert Downey, Jr. But thank you for your audition; perhaps we can use you in the next X-Men movie.

Will said...

That's the most disturbing thing I've seen since my grandpa bent over to pick up his car keys, while wearing only a hospital gown. **shudder**

Jezebel said...

You know what Armadillo? Buckets are so yesterday. Try getting some fashion sense. Don't even get me started about the body armour. You better hope I don't run into you Armadillo, cause when I do I'm gonna give YOU the stink eye!

Lillian Wey said...

Such a complicated character! Would you want to haul that much gear to work? Though fully dressed, he makes me feel naked -- and I like it.

Kafka Stole My Bike said...

Well hello there, Armadillo. I see you've popped your collar like EVERY OTHER DOUCHE IN AMERICA! Seriously, keep listening to Fall Out Boy and Avenged Sevenfold and get the fuck out of that bucket. Shouldn't you be in the gym doing curls directly in front of the women on the treadmills? I bet you'd have a faux-hawk if you had hair. Go find your pastel-colored polo shirt and leave me the fuck alone....

Jason said...

Didn't I see this joker in Demolition Man?

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic said...

An angry looking young man.

sundaegirl71 said...

He's a thief, too. He stole that bucket from a walrus.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Leprosy. Dude.

OSweet said...

Whoever designed armadillos had to be on 'shrooms.

Kurt said...

What, Armadillo? Do you think someone thought you were a rock? No one falls for that "roll up in an armored ball bit" anymore. What is this, vaudeville?

Courtney said...

Almost looks like he's trying to seduce as well. Make up your mind, armadillo!

miss k said...

who do you think you are, armadillo? the fonz? stop trying to look cool and get out the fucking bucket. you would never catch the fonz in a bucket, now would you?

asshat.

Wings said...

That fucker ain't trying to look cool. He just is cool.

cermedes said...

armadillo, you seem to have a raging personality disorder. i can't decide if you are a diva from "around the way" with those flo jo looking nails, or are you a fucking dirty hippie that refuses to shave? hey sybil, pick one and go with it.

melouise said...

This must be photo-shopped; an armadillo's natural state is smooshed dead on a highway.

That's why they're called "Texas Speed Bumps".

HC said...

Armadillos look scary...

furiousBall said...

way to carry leprosy, dickbag

"tim" said...

The subtleties of your blog are truly life-enhancing and every visitor needs to be more introspect when coalescing their criticisms. Bravo, author, and to all woodland creature I decry, the jig is up!

oceanchick677 said...

I swerve on purpose!

maggie! said...

i don't care for these fuckers... unless they bounce when rolled up as a ball...

It's All Good said...

Armando's got some skills man, he makes me jealous...

drollgirl said...

those things are horrifying.

Allgaul said...

What's with the hairy Pits, armadillo? Oh-I GET IT NOW...ARM-a- dillo! You sneaky attention whore with the Euro style pits! It's almost clever enough...but not quite!

Awesomeallday said...

If I was in the mafia I would fill that bucket up with cement, no amount of rolling into a ball can save you from a swim with the fishes.

sexypoet said...

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Funny in my mind said...

The fact that he can dance and stare incessantly does not take away from the fact it is creepy!! I have never seen one that was alive, they are usually on the shoulder of the highway in a forever nap!

Shimmy said...

Fuck you, Armadillo. You are my arthritis.

hirakendu said...

;-)

Dr. No said...

Look people, among the Dasypodidae "coming out of the bucket" has real metaphorical meaning. We should support this brave armadillo and embrace his sexual orientation.

OzarkTroutBum said...

Around here, that is known as a "opposum on the half shell." At night they become an "Arkansas Speedbump." Then there's the old favorite, "Armored Possum."

Still though, slightly more evolved rat with terrible eyesight.

wordnerd44 said...

Armadillo-

Seriously, what are you, a fucking mop?

It's been done:

http://wordnerd44.wordpress.com/2008/05/27/wheres-spoon/

MOTdesigns said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUKoovVjqUc

[ J ] said...

Dear Armadillo,

Get out of my bucket and get into a pot where I will cook you for soup.


Regards,
Everyone

Mame said...

Your nose looks just like my old dust-buster.

Heddy said...

Why do they always seem to be in buckets? Koala was lounging in a bucket too. Assholes.

Kristine said...

It's only a matter of time until you're dead on the side of the road like every other armadillo who's not hiding in a bucket, you coward.

Wildwoods Retreat said...

What a dumb bastard...he took his glasses off ~ doesn't even know he is standing in a bucket!

Jeff said...

Armadillos are stupid creatures. I once had one waddle right up to me in a forest in Georgia. I proceeded to kick him, (I had no idea what his intentions were)and that little bitch flew a few feet, then waddled off like any other dumb ass Armadillo would.

G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Rush said...

This is my first visit to your blog. It's kind of funny!

Devika said...

I have just begun following this blog, and I have to compliment you on your very subtle and potent mix of outrage, humour and compassion. It is devastating, and sometimes makes me love you a little more than one blogger should another.

Lackluster Procrastinator said...

I love how he's peering over the edge of his hipster Dracula collar.

Jerry T. said...

Damn thing needs to shave its pits, too!

wordwitch said...

did you know that you can get leprosy from a dead armadillo?

jill said...

Hey fuck you penguin, are you really Bill Murray? Because you sound just like him! And I believe that's a sub-species called the mopidillo.

akfireweed said...

Hey! That armadillos nose looks an awful lot like my missing vacuum hose attachment. Coincidence? I think not.

michael.manny said...

bucket of poop

Alex Sacui said...

An armadillo has an exo-skeleton and is therefore not even an animal. It is a bug.

Kevin said...

Fuck you armadillo. Your smug attitude is not becoming of someone of your stature in the crustacean phyla. You walk around with a false sense of security. Firmly believing your armor plates will protect you from predators and other bullies within the animal kingdom. Well I've got news for you asshole....a Chevy Suburban is not an animal, but it will crack your ass like a walnut getting sat on by Rosie O'Donnell. It must be entirely humiliating to be dumber than a fucking chicken...because at least they can cross the damn road. Instead we see you and your 62 gazillion asshole cousins halfway across the road....dead. I guess you're listening to too many Louden Wainright III songs you miserable fuck. And here's a question I'd like answered- how in the hell did you get a reprieve from Darwin you 8,000 B.C. mutant? I hope you die a slow and miserable death. Now there's a stretch of imagination.

Krissio said...

What make you so tough Mr. Dillo looks like you need some lotion to me! Let me see you pick up an pen and write your name uhhh think not! The only person you should be looking at hard is yourself I would hide in a bucket too!

ConceptCreature said...

Seriously! I mean, who does he think he is! And what's up with the heavy armor? Have you EVER seen an armadillo out in an actual war? You don't any pictures of armadillos in photos of Vietnam or Iraq, do you?
Ring ring! Know who it is, armadillo? The Army Surplus Store: they called and want their gear back!

Adam said...

What the fuck is wrong with an armadillo popping out of a bucket? It is better than an armadillo popping out of a sun roof in his custom limo and giving you a big stink eye because you know he makes twice as much money as you do.

nltisme said...

We have these little shelled bastards all over the place here....they can total a smart car when it hits one!

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