Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Keep it in your pants, buddy



You know, Peacock, you are basically a flasher that walks around showing off your stuff to the entire world. It's pretty disgusting, if you ask me, "beautiful" colors or not. I'm not sure how you decided that you get a free pass from society, but the rest of us have to use our personalities and regular good looks to find mates, instead of throwing our junk around until someone feels sorry for us. Yeah, "one yes is all it takes," but remember, you have to live with yourself in the morning.

And yeah, I looked. I'm comfortable with my sexuality, so I can admire a peacock's feathers. THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT THEM IN MY FACE ALL DAY, PEACOCK. So either learn to control yourself, or expect to have a sexual harassment suit on your hands.

49 comments:

The Cheap-Arse Film Critic said...

(Pea)Cock.

Clicky Overload said...

Have you ever seen a peacock from behind?

M.J. said...

Have you Clicky Overload? What were you doing back there?

Doublebanker said...

That is a rather large p-cock, try not to look though, especially when they are aroused!

Top 10 Gif Girls just added!

DB

Pizza Girl said...

you know who else flashes around a lot of feathers? drag queens

rob-t-firefly said...

I used to have respect for the peacock, before it totally sold out to advertise the crappy TV shows on NBC.

"30 Rock" my ass, peacock.

Kurt said...

Dear Peacock, Why don't you just grow up,Peter Pan. Signed, The World

The Last Waltz said...

One time a peacock tried to roofie my sister.
Pervert.

PersonalFailure said...

THe more you have to brag about it . . .

Robert said...

I've seen pimps with more sartorial restraint than you, peacock.

packupthemoon said...

You want to see a real show-off?!

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v358/112/102/94800029/n94800029_34934867_4506.jpg

An albino peacock. What a jerk.

Kim said...

There's nothing more annoying that a horny show off. Looks like a Las Vegas lounge singer.

Dunesdreamer said...

Just because you were the symbol of Hera in Ancient Greece, don't think that gives you any special privileges in 21st Century America. Where are Hera and the ancient Greeks now? Huh? Huh? Fucker.

HC said...

What a show-off!

daniel said...

Have you ever heard a peacock? They're fucking loud

Walter said...

It's just obscene, peacocks.

Clicky Overload said...

@M.J.: Well, um, er, I was chasing the bastard because his whining for love is so fucking annoying!

jflorek said...

Eat a bowl of dicks, Peacock! Why must you update your Facebook status every 5 minutes? YOU'RE RUINING MY ONLINE SOCIAL NETWORKING EXPERIENCE!

hirakendu said...

;)

sour said...

PEACOCK! MY ARCH NEMESIS, we meet again. this time i'm going to make a headdress out of your stupid feathers and make you wear it on your head instead of on your stupid ass.

fuck.

Gra said...

I'm all for equal rights and everything, but why do they have to shove it in our face? I saw one at the zoo last year and I had two young children with me. I think it's a disgrace.

Jezebel said...

Looks like you're over compensating for something, Peacock. Are you trying to draw attention away from your microscopic penis? Well, asshole, guess what? I don't care how pretty your tail is! And size does matter! What a jerk off! Oh, sorry, it must be hard to jerk off if you can't see your own penis. Good luck with that.

Cindy said...

Peacocks are show-offs.

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

Feathers or not.....he looks like the Vegas Showgirl Drag Queen of the quail family.

not fancy,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

Fuzzy2k said...

I wouldn't mind the "Hey, look at ME! I am so pretty" thing quite so much if they weren't so very noisy.

The first time you hear one unexpectedly can be a memorable occasion, and not in a good way.

Bakso Bandit said...

And whats with the gay little hat FCS!!?? As if you felt the outfit wasnt quite complete without the fricken hat! Grow up!!

Fragrant Liar said...

And what's with all the green? Come on, Buddy, give us a nother color, will ya?

Alex said...

See, here's another example of not having enough natural predators. If you don't have enough things trying to eat you, you tend to evolve in a very lazy fashion, and before you know it, BAM! You're walking around displaying your dazzling plumage for maximum flirtatiousness and still haven't developed opposable thumbs or even a speech center in your brain.
You ever see a cockroach, peacock? Everything on earth wants to either eat it or exterminate it. No goddamn time for flashy appendages. It has to fuck, and fuck fast, and fuck other cockroaches, AND THAT'S IT.
Try taking a page from the book of cockroach, peacock, you lazy asshole.

jessica o said...

I'd totally hit that.

[ J ] said...

Dear Peacock,

You really think you're the cock of the walk, don't you!

We wait for the day when you have to crawl back home, tail between your legs because your career as a day-trader didn't work out. We bet you pulled some scams with Madoff and now you think you're all badass 'cause you haven't been caught. YET.

You cock.


Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/

Sadaf Shahid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wasswasswass said...

Hey...if you've got it, flaunt it.

Wildwoods Retreat said...

Word on the street of feathers is that the peacock tribe is laughing their asses off at us. Where exactly do you think all those dumb phrases came from: 'strut your stuff', 'cock of the walk', 'you've got ~ flaunt it'. They do it and they know we will say it. "Oh those push button humans" they snicker!

They are pretty damned arrogant and condescending.

Becky said...

i think i am in love with the author of this blurb

Eric said...

lol @ Clicky; Anyone for starting the baboon-peacock breeding program?

ummmmheyyyy said...

Put the mouse back in the house, pal

MonaLisa said...

(Ugh... GIVE ME A FRIGGIN' BREAK!)

Ya' know, it sucks enough that guys have longer, thicker eyelashes than girls. And men with gray hair get that, "Oooooh, he looks SO distinguished" bull-SHIT, yet if a woman doesn't spend $thousands a year to beat off the ravages of mother-fucking TIME, they're reviled by our youth-worshiping society as a fuckin' lazy HAG who's let herself 'go'....!

You ever see a peahen? You know WHY they look so drab and blah? Because the cock hogs the bathroom every morning and commandeers ALL her beauty products!!

Prissy little metro-sexual fucker....

stinginthetail said...

peacocks are very over-rated - attention whores whose cries sound like that woman from The Nanny

melouise said...

If you're so effing "gorgeous and magical", then let's see ya switch them feathers to pink!

We're waiting.

Yeah, I THOUGHT so. Dismissed, bird.

Organidog said...

Keep you rocket in your pocket, you dirty fucking stay out.

Scoobs210 said...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2025/1578466713_c30bc5190d.jpg?v=0
this peacock totally upped the ante.

snarkyandsexy said...

Some people have no sense of fucking decency or common respect. Maybe some of us don't wanna see your back half spread open for all the world to see!

Hell, while we're at it, why don't you just douse yourself in costly cosmetics tested on those bastarding bunnies and trollop around like that? Or cover yourself in expensive shit you can't afford, to impress everyone, mm? Help out the economy, why don'tcha! And I bet you don't even work for a living...

In fact, why not go the full deal? All you need now is a megaphone, some banners & a marching band with you touting "I'm so personally insecure, I feel the need to make the whole world look at me!!" Get a life, birdie. You could have an equally pretty bird standing right next to you and all you'd do is piss her off; 'cause you'd be too busy preening, emitting those horrible screeching noises & making a spectacle of yourself. What a self-serving whore..!

Someone not get enough attention growing up? Trying too hard to prove you're not just a big, noisy useless buzzard are we? Jeez, get some therapy n' put the feathers DOWN, Mr. Peacock. No one wants to see it half as much as you do.

snarkyandsexy said...

Shit! I.e. crashed!63
















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