Friday, April 10, 2009

Oh, are bunnies associated with Easter?


Okay, green packing plastic in a basket and some colored eggs. Hmm... I know those things have to do with Easter... so that bunny must have something to do with Easter as well! THANKS FOR THE MOST OBVIOUS CONNECTION EVER, BUNNY.

This might be a new low for you, Bunny. The furtive glance over the basket is a dead giveaway that you hate yourself for what you are doing and you know someone is going to catch on. Well I've caught on, Bunny, and I'm not going to let you hop all over my sense of moral clarity. YOU WILL NOT LATCH ONTO MY FOND MEMORIES OF EGG-PAINTING AND CHOCOLATE.

How did you even get associated with the death and subsequent resurrection of Jesus anyway? Pretty sure there is minimal bunny presence in the Bible. Come to think of it, I can't actually figure out what you even have to do with eggs! What the hell is going on here, Bunny? I already know my Cadbury eggs aren't actually made by you, so it really seems like you are riding some serious coattails on this whole Easter thing. You need to get your own thing, Bunny, a white nose and perky ears is only going to get you so far.

56 comments:

HC said...

Haha, great blog!

HC said...

Oh, and I've never understand the connection between bunnies and Easter either... Maybe someone can explain it?

tk13 said...

This little bastard decided to switch teams when the Christians decided to celebrate Easter around the time the Pagans celebrated the goddess Eostre. The Pagans were probably slaughtering the rabbits to appease Eostre, and when they saw the Christians were sticking them in baskets with eggs and chocolate, they were all like "fuck this Pagan shit, we can pretend to crap out Cadbury eggs".

Okay, so it was a smart move...but just wait until a religion comes along that treats rabbits as gods. They'll be switching teams faster than you can saw "rabbits are fucking liars".

Jezebel said...

I think you're the Devil, Bunny, what do you think about that? So get outta my holiday rabbit! Take your blasphemous ways and go back to Hell!

Future Mrs. H said...

HAHAHAHA - check out the South Park episode dedicated to Easter and the Bunny himself.

skwilli said...

MMmmmm, Cadbury Egg.

Pizza Girl said...

I'm pretty sure you're hiding a lady-friend in the basket, bunny. Sick pervert to be fucking in my easter basket. Don't pretend like it's not true.

Kurt said...

Look Bunny. I'm sick of your bullshit. You think hopping is so cute that it's going to excuse you from gnawing the shit out of my sofa leg. Well obviously you do. Fucker.

Choppy said...

I bet that bunny is hiding one of those dyed chicks in that basket. Asshole.

Dunesdreamer said...

I'm thinking a nice Hossenfeffer stew would complement those eggs quite nicely.

Straw Hat said...

I pretty much 100% expected you to come out with a bunny-related blog post today, Fuck You Penguin. Well you know what, FUP? You ruined my Good Friday with your lack of spontaneity and sudden willingness to conform to what mainstream society might expect from you. Way to sell out, FUP. You lost my respect today. Oh, and by the way, Jesus hates you too.

rachnye said...

Bunny's represent sex for the spring fertility festival. It's as simple as that!

MonaLisa said...

Quick, somebody nail some antlers on that little fucker....

Phil Bennett said...

I am with you on this one dude. So, I say, Hey dumbass bunny...until you have performed miracles, turned water into wine, been nailed to a cross and rose on the third day, leave Easter alone. You psycho, flea infested, sick rancid FUCK!! (sorry Jesus, I used that language in your defense)

Peace,

Phil

LPC said...

Minimum Bunny language in the bible. Didn't they say go forth and multiply? Oh wait, I have to go back to laughing hysterically now.

ThomasShaped said...

The bunny is a corporate bastard. He's just in it for the money.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

The Easter Bunny is just a manifestation of the manipulation and complete domination of the MAN!

He's kinda cute though.

Deborah O'Hara said...

"hop all over my sense of moral clarity"? brilliant!

Cherlindrea said...

@HC: Yeah, bunnies and eggs are to represent fertility (hence, fuck like bunnies) and new life. The pagans knew how to party.

Good luck tying that in to gruesome deaths of messiahs and subsequent resurrections.

But yes, this bunny definitely is a corporate shill.

angela said...

This is, by far, the only blog that uses all caps to perfection.

[ J ] said...

Dear Bunny,

Who is your agent? He/She must be pretty amazing for getting you on this Easter gig.

You must have the same agent as Denise Richards who was amazingly cast as a nuclear scientist in that one James Bond flick.

Well done, Bunny. Well done.


Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/

dz.dz said...

i couldn't agree more! I've just had the conversation with a friend about just what in the world bunnies actually have to do with Easter...hilarious!

hirakendu said...

;)

Traycina said...

It should be a LAMB, not a bunny, as symbol for Easter. Then kids can pretend to sacrifice it! Cuuuuute!

warship said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Asshole said...

Catholics fuck and multiply like jack-rabbits, not actual bunny rabbits - but it's a racist industry so many bunnies get the parts and then go "jack-face" with it...

melouise said...

Go suck on a carrot, bunny- we KNOW you're sitting in a basket to hide that someone ALREADY BIT YOUR FUCKING TAIL OFF!

Asshole. I call dibs on his ears.

Roxie said...

BUT WHERE IS THE COCK THAT FATHERED ALL THOSE ORPHAN EGGS?! WHERE IS HE NOW?

Yanna said...

There's this weird legend about Eostre that talks about how she took her favorite bird and turned it into a rabbit. The bird wasn't terribly thrilled about this. He was kind of like...what the fuck? I can't fly? And Eostre was like, well, sorry, but instead, on my sacred day, you can lay eggs. And the bird-turned-rabbit was like, WHAT? HOW IS THAT A FAIR TRADE OFF? And Eostre was like, eh, sucks to be you.

Sethjj1975 said...

Leviticus 11:6
King James Version

"And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you."

See, bunny, God hates you and thinks you're an abomination. He also wants you to get the FUCK out of that basket, like yesterday.

Wildwoods Retreat said...

Bunny is probably Jewish. I know what you're thinking -"Bunny" isn't even a Jewish name but what the heck, Bunny doesn't look Jewish either. It is what it is. No Jews ... no Easter. Hence his presence...

The price of assimilation. "Bunny" use to be Moshe _ doesn't work does it!

Lauren said...

So to go along with the concise explanation above,
When the pagans were being converted, the Christians absorbed some pagan traditions to make them more amenable to the conversion. That's where we get eggs and bunnies from fertility rites like Ostara for Easter, and yule logs and pine trees from Yule for Christmas. Also, this is why we celebrate Christmas in late December and not on Jesus's actual birthday (some time mid to late summer). More information here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter
http://www.religioustolerance.org/easter1.htm

Lindsey said...

YESSS!!!!!

Mary Baine said...

my friends, put your thinking caps on: the easter bunny is SPECIAL because he lays eggs. and jesus christ is also very special, because he hatches from one of the bunny's eggs on easter morning. we celebrate on this one day of the year the miraculous ability of the bunny to hatch a new god, when all other days bunnies just eat and shit. little dry turds like coco-puffs.

WordsMeanBusiness said...

"You need to get your own thing, Bunny, a white nose and perky ears is only going to get you so far."

And the cute, cotton-white tail. Don't forget the tail.

ummmmheyyyy said...

I hate how when you hold bunnies you can feel all their organs through their fur. Gross.

ms toast burner said...

It wasn't until I was about 14 when I realised that bunnies don't lay eggs...

rob said...

The bunny is a lie.

Brian said...

Rather than a bunny, Easter should be symbolized by a giant scorpion attacking a nuclear power plant. And instead of getting chocolate, little kids should be made to toss throwing stars at beehives to suck the honey that drips out.

Jap-Floaters said...

LMFAOO this is too funny

Peaches said...

Hilarious post!

Lana said...

easter bunny needs to spend more time with his cousin, the soft-spoken death harbinger in donnie darko. that's a bunny i can respect.

Francisco said...

I love this blog so much

Elayne said...

Mary Baine:
I checked out the comments to see if anyone had already explained the rabbit-fertility-spring-pagan thing. When I read, "jesus christ is also very special, because he hatches from one of the bunny's eggs on easter morning," I had unwisely just taken a large drink of soda.

I shall be spending the next three hours cleaning the Coke™ off of my screen, keyboard, desk, walls, floor, desk items, and clothing. I am considering all that cleaning my punishment for being Little Miss "oh hi let me educate you" on the internet. Serves me right.

KDog said...

Easter is associated with spring, which is the time of "rebirth" and fertility. We all know how fertile rabbits are! Eggs, and rabbits are both signs of fertillity. Get it. I that Easter was stolen from the pegans anyhow, it falls on the first sunday after the the full moon after the Vernal Eqinox. I mean how much more pegan can you get?

LesleyRJ said...

Don't forget, Jesus dyed eggs for your sins. This explains the colorful eggs of Easter. I guess the Christians had to kick it up a notch to get the Pagans' attention.

silvergirl said...

RABBI - T. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Brian said...

Easter bunny mystery unveiled.

Isn't it obvious that this Easter tradition parallels the Super Bowl's Turducken (but in reverse); surely there was an ancient ritual by the name Christharegg!

The blessed egg shat by the blessed hare shat by the blessed JC, himself.

A miracle of anal proportions!

★ whoaamello ★ said...

Aww, how cute is that photo! =D

S.K. Azoulay said...

Why is there so much (legitimate) anti-bunny sentiment expressed in these comments, while all the comments on the well-reasoned "Why I Hate Bunnies" (http://2log.biz/?blog_id=280) are so overwhelmingly pro-bunny?

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