Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tasmanian devils misrepresent themselves


I went all the way to Tasmania to meet a Tasmanian devil I met online because I thought he was going to be super awesome. But instead of seeing the guy who was in the picture he had posted, I got this small dog-looking marsupial. Quite frankly, I was pretty disappointed, because if an animal is going to take the time to get to know me online, the least they can do is be honest with me.

So fuck you, Tasmanian Devil. Don't give me that "I know I was lying to you but look how hard I'm trying now" look, because I'm going to need a formal apology, AND IT BETTER NOT COME IN THE FORM OF YOU USING YOUR WHISKERS TO DETECT PREY IN THE DARK. I know all of your tricks, Tasmanian Devil. Your reign of terror is over.

48 comments:

Crowscious said...

Yeah fuck you Tasmanian Devil. You'll be the devil of me yet! :)

The Devil's Daughter-In-Law said...

You know who is the REAL Devil?

My mother-in-law.

Choppy said...

What's up with looking like you have four ears, tasmanian devil? That's fucked up, even for a creature from hell.

dancingmorganmouse said...

You know these poor little buggers are all dying of Devil Facial Tumour Disease - go here and help if you can - http://www.tassiedevil.com.au/

Barb said...

It's put a fake head on that picture. You can see the white join mark.

Walter said...

You're not the first to be fooled. That necklace was expensive, Tasmanian Devil.

Makuluwo said...

LOL!
I love you, Fuckyoupenguin. ;D

Kurt said...

You don't even spin real fast or eat holes in trees or anything, Tasmanian Devil. You're pretty much an asshole.

Tommy said...

I made a vitally important mashup of Fuck You Penguin and Look At This Fucking Hipster. I commend it to your attention.

HC said...

And did he also make that awful sound that they can produce?

hirakendu said...

;)

MotorCop said...

And what's with your maniacal drum playing? Oh wait...that's Animal from the muppets.

Nevermind. Carry on.

Brooke said...

:D Best one you've done in a while.

M.J. said...

I think he's cute...you can send him my way since you're not interested!

Gra said...

Yes, yes, we all know the image of the Tasmanian Devil as an aggressive manly beast, but as FUP points out the truth is 180 degrees from this. They are in fact insatiable bottoms, never happier than when they are on their knees about to try on a pearl necklace. Look at this one saying "give it to me stud". It's disgusting and i think something should be done about it.

Nic said...

Hahahahaha! Brilliant!

gregoryyy said...

Did you get one " I went all the way to Tasmania to meet a Tasmanian ..." T-shirts?

That really really looks like the jumbo-rats that run around in my hood(daytime).

Glad you made it back safe.

Phil Bennett said...

Yeah...FU TD!!! I grew up watching you in cartoons. Then when I saw you in real life...you're a fucking dog with a strange-shaped head.

I hate you TD...HATE!! You don't spin around and make that funny sound or nothin. FUCK YOU!!!!

THANKS FOR RUINING MY FUCKING CHILDHOOD!!!

Soda and Candy said...

Don't let his size fool you, Tasmanian devils are badass. They will fuck your shit up.

Brian said...

Taz growls snarkily at the humans viewing him virtually. "Fuck you human plague, I'm too busy going extinct in hopes to meet up with my marsupial buddy Thylacine to bother with your species' twisted sense of what I am. Fucking enjoy the Earth without me, and may your existence be as two dimensional as your perception of my kind."

nature show host said...

The same damn thing happened to me with a wombat!! So lame....

Fuck you Australian marsupials, you all suck!!!

Jezebel said...

Did you ever wonder why they keep you on one island Tasmanian Devil? To keep you away from the rest of the world! You're a very bad animal, Devil. Very bad.

webteam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike The Spike said...

And why do you got to be so stuck up? That whole "looking down your nose" at somebody thing doesn't work when you barely come up to their ankles. Fuck you Tasmanian Devil.

Nobody likes a short dick.

ZenGrouch said...

Tasmanian Devil: Mainly feeds on naive masseuses, met on the internet, as they're trying to pull their floded massage table down into it's burrow.

ZenGrouch said...

A few hundred years ago the Tasmanian Devil was actually quite docile, feeding mostly on twigs and berries...

...Years of sexual abuse at the hands of castaway British scum, turned them mean.

zengrouch.com

electricbetty said...

And you know what else? It's Earth Day. The least this freak could have done is respect the inherent worth of all living things and shown you the respect you deserve, FUP.

J said...

So typical of the Tasmanian Devil. Trying to trick honest people. little motherfucker. www.johnincharge.blogspot.com

[ J ] said...

Dear Tasmanian Devil,

You give all those other Tasmanian Devils a bad name.

For shame.


Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/

WR said...

Okay, FUP... exactly which internet dating service did you use?

cermedes said...

you don't look anything like the tattoo on my ankle tasmanian devil. i always knew you were a complete and utter fraud. now kindly tuck in your snaggle tooth. that's jewel's trademark.

Ms Unreliable said...

Lying bastard. I bet his internet dating profile said he was single too. LIES! He's married and has 4216 kids.

Emilie said...

Oh, man. Your site is hilarious.

http://cuteobsession.com

TorontoVet said...

Same thing happened to me but it ended well: it was the Tasmanian Devil from "Looney Tunes," and he's just adorable.

matatatt said...

Fuck you Tasmanian Devil go stick your head in your pouch and hide

EUTERPE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KarlBunker said...

Put this little 2-bit loser into a blender and turn it up to 11. THEN maybe he'd look a little bit like those bullshit lying cartoons say he looks.

TGIkaty said...

Fuck you Tasmanian Devil for never coming out to let me see you at the Zoo.

Ms Vitriol said...

This is hilarious! You've got me all in stitches.

The Beautiful Kind said...

Should be called Tasmanian Puppy.

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a_man_somewhere said...

I found this page accidentally whilest googling "Fuck Tasmania". I think the blanket approach "Fark the whole Island" covers anything you might have missed, flora and fauna inclusive.

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