Friday, May 15, 2009

Get a sense of humor, Grandpa


Fuck you, I let you wear one of those fake knife hats! THAT SHIT IS HILARIOUS. I don't just put those on anybody, you know. What is wrong with you, Basset Hound? We used to have fun together. Remember the time we called up the Chinese restaurant and pretended we wanted to order you? And remember the time we went out to a bar to pick up chicks, but then we were all "bros before hos," and went back to the apartment and played X-Box? Now all you do is wear cardigans and take your kids to the fucking park. NOT COOL, BASSET HOUND.

You know, I invited you to this party so you could have a good time, relax a little. I know things have been crazy at the office. But I start busting out the party favors, and all of the sudden it's bummer central in here. I'm gonna need you to lighten the fuck up and put on this beer hat, or you should just put your tail between your legs and go home.

40 comments:

The Van Goat Ranch said...

Can't wait for the book, man!!!!And tell that basset to lay off the drink - you could get from New York to California on those road maps in his eyes.

sharazad said...

Killjoy.

Clint Osterholz said...

Bloodhound has been going through some rough shit lately, FUP. Back the fuck down, man.

john said...

Don't let that sad, depressed look fool you. This dog is the life of the party! He just puts on that sad face for photos. That's what makes him so damn funny! Party on, basset hound.

Kelsey said...

This is exactly why I had to break it off with him. Hanging out with Doggy Downer all the time just got really...boring. I've moved onto an australian shepherd, and never looked back!

Deb said...

Sounds like this old dog just ain't up to any new tricks - his loss!

The Devil's Daughter-In-Law said...

My mother-in-law's eyes look like that. By noon.

I2carts said...

Bloodhound has been going through some rough shit lately, FUP. Back the fuck down, man.
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Dunesdreamer said...

Hound, if I'd had to hear "Hey, it's the Hush Puppy!" like, 10,000 times a day, I'd put a knife through my skull, too.

Jenny said...

This could be a cry for help.

Gra said...

Clearly he's been smoking pot. It's a disgrace.

Jezebel said...

Basshole.

Ken Hefferson said...

i tried turning his frown upside down but everything just spilled the other way

dz.dz said...

Stop it. That face isn't going to work on me. I know better. Heck, You're not even trying to give me the 'puppy eyes', Basset.. you just look like you haven't slept in days after snorting too many lines of coke!

Phat Mama said...

There's a book??!!

Tara Rabeumdeay said...

I live with one of these surly beasts. It doesn't take rough times to get them all, 'oh, poor poor me.' The one that lives here and hasn't even paid rent in like, eight years, gets all bent out of shape over every little thing, when he's not spitting all over the place, or moaning about the lack of gourmand foodstuffs. Suck it up, basset.

Mister 1-2-3-4 said...

Oh man, Basset, I just knew you'd be into the Fake Knife Hats. All of you New England indie-math-rock types are such music snobs and none of you know how to party. It's not our fault your favorite band broke up after their first 7-inch came out. Now, stop moaning about the sad state of the music industry and have a jello shot!

Patcannistan said...

Basset hound, you drool like a fucking invalid. Reevaluate your life.
And take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are bright red. Either youve been crying like a littly baby or youve been smoking dope. Get ahold of yourself.

HC said...

Lol, my uncle has two of them. They are so silly....

hirakendu said...

;)

WR said...

LOL: "The one that lives here and hasn't even paid rent in like, eight years, "

steve said...

I know better. Heck, You're not even trying to give me the 'puppy eyes', Basset.. you just look like you haven't slept in days after snorting too many lines of coke!
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Phil Bennett said...

yeah...fuck you basset!! You're all...I'm too tired to party. You're all...I need to lay down.

You are cramping my style FUCKER!!

jwm said...

The basset weeps for all the sad children of the world. And you wicked people mock him for it. Poor doggy.

JWM

Insults said...

Some people just don't know how to have fun. Some people just don't know when they are on to a good thing by getting to wear such a funky hat. Some people (saggy faced fucking dogs) needs to get kicked in the frown.

aboveyourradar said...

I used to have a sense of humor if memory is correct it went missing around the same time as some other valuable things

just a shorthand list:

innocence, an ipod, 99.9% of my dignity, roughly 26 lbs of human muscle, and interest in all things…

the bloodhound pic made me smile .... perhaps not all is lost

MY said...

If it were a mountain axe, we could name him Leon Trotsky.

MY

dz.dz said...

LOL at whoever 'steve' is who copied and pasted my comment and turned it into his... I guess I'm a supporter of recycling but come on, I wasn't even funny!

Big Foot said...

Remember the time we called up the Chinese restaurant and pretended we wanted to order you?Damn Basset Hound! You've gone from being Mick Jagger to some N'Sync wannabe ... get a life!

nltisme said...

Damn what a bummer this one turned out to be.....Zoloft basset hound, Zoloft.

Beth said...

That's funny.

baba yaga said...

next time you are tempted to shout, yet again,
"STOP THAT INCESSANT BARKING!"
may I suggest you stop and consider this as an alternative with somewhat longer lasting results?

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