Friday, May 22, 2009

One of you is lying to me


::Looks at wombat.::

::Looks at sign.::

::Looks back at wombat.::

::Looks back at sign.::

Nooooooooooooooo!!! Which one do I believe? I bet I shouldn't listen to you, Wombat, you fucking sneaky bastard. You probably think just because you look like you want to come hang out and go to a movie and tell me how grateful you are to be out of that pen I'm going to ignore the giant sign right next to you. And yeah, signs have lied to me before. But I know what you wombats are like.

You know what? I'm not even going to let it stress me. All you wombats are the same anyway, bumbling around on stubby legs and burrowing your noses where they don't belong. Fuck you, Wombat, I'm taking my chances with the sign.

49 comments:

katie_henke said...

Good call. The sign even has bite marks. Steer clear of the wombat. Sneaky, sneaky bastard.

Barb said...

It's the use of the word "may" - as in they are *allowed* to.

The sign isn't a warning, it's a prediction.

Melissa A. Robinson said...

Wombat has some bad-ass claws. I always say, "Never cuddle with animals that could claw you to death."

Cherlindrea said...

BZA, I love you for using the zombies sign in there. You have made my morning.

Nic said...

Zombies ahead?! Haha!
I think you should believe this sign though. That wombat looks about ready to pounce.

Walter said...

Do it, that wombat totally wants to hang out.

Funny in my mind said...

Wombat needs a mani-pedi before I do any cuddle time....

PersonalFailure said...

and yet, those imploring eyes, that wistful smile . . .

john said...

I don't believe it. How could something so cute bite? I think wombats have good PR guys. I mean, really, doesn't that sign just make you more interested in wombats? Wombats are not immune to this recession!

wombat said...

Bite? Never! Just come a little closer...

HC said...

They can make funny noises....

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Dunesdreamer said...

That sign begs one question in my mind: Just how close are they allowing people to get to those wombats?

Soda and Candy said...

Wombats will bite the shit out of you. Go with the sign.

hirakendu said...

;)

sharazad said...

I say: bite the wombat before the wombat bites you.

Dunesdreamer said...

I tried biting a wombat once. ONCE.

Jaimie said...

Those pleading eyes and long lashes don't fool me!

The Peach Tart said...

I just stumbled on your site and love it.

nltisme said...

Cute but evil!

WR said...

Are all critters from Tasmania f'ing weird or what? It is some small (very tiny small) comfort that those fuckers eat plants and that the claws are for digging. They weigh up to 77 pounds. Dunno, could be a good cuddle but I think I'll pass!

apotheosis said...

If you can't handle a wombat, how do you expect to play wom?

Mary Serbe said...

And why is the wombat imprisoned anyway? Ask yourself if there's a history of incarceration for violent offenses.

Kristie said...

The sign doesn't lie. I was bitten by a wombat when I worked at a zoo.

TheWhacksteR said...

yeah something in that bugger's eyes tell me he's just a little too content waiting.. good call.

Fragrant Liar said...

Wombat So Fat, what are you even doing out in daylight? Aren't you nocturnal? Are you trying to fool EVERYONE, including those know-it-all scientists? You really are a sneaky bastard.

Gra said...

Wombat = Speed Bump.

jagsdnkz said...

caution zombies ahead and they may bite too

J said...

That sign must be misleading.. Clearly, right?.

uter said...

Wombats have square poop. I never trust anything that can do that

Insults said...

I dated that Wombat once and yes, he was a considerate lover but damn was he a bastard went it came to seeing my family.

LoriS said...

A wombat bit me, Sept 1997. True story. I'm not sure I have ever recovered.

William Heinrich said...

That wombat looks legit. I say cuddle the bastard until it learns to take it.

bestiarumvocabulum said...

the lack of real fence-type materials makes one wonder where the sign telling you to "run fast" has gotten to...

penwars said...

They do bite, I've experienced it - they then quickly burrow away to avoid being held accountable.
*shakes fist*

Cedric Ang said...

I think you are gonna be safer with me.

Melissa Lovell said...

I've actually been bitten by a wombat before and it f-ing hurts! Now I always trust signs over cuddly animals.

Max said...

You can't trust the wombat because it's from Australia and, as anyone who has ever read or seen 'The Princess Bride' knows, Australia is populated entirely by criminals. Mind you, that could also mean that whoever made the sign was lying. You'd really need to know where the sign was made prior to making an informed decision.

Paul said...

A baby wombat bit me once.

Imagine how cute that thing was...

Serotonin Storm said...

That zombie sign infuriates me. It reminds me of the time I was driving through Utah and saw a sign that said "CAUTION: GIANT CAKE AHEAD DRIVE WITH CARE", well, I got my retractable fork all ready, and 300 miles later, NO CAKE! This leads me to believe that the cake IS, indeed, a lie.

Fuck You, Fuck You, Penguin said...

http://fyfyp.blogspot.com/2009/06/is-someone-lying-to-fyp.html

Natalie, Queen of the Tropics said...

Even success doesn't tame em. TV Star wombat bit people in the eighties. Goes by the name of Fatso. Watch for him- he ruins TV!

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smug clean gren(Imeangrey) kiwi said...

not the sign...not the sign....to even remotely trick us wombat you need to chew something 'off camera' or give us 4 wines!

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