Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Proportion is a bitch


The long-arm craze that has been sweeping the monkey world has finally gotten out of control, and this gibbon is the direct result of that sad scandalous trend that mixed primates, plastic surgery, and international intrigue (loosely). He has basically sunk into the kind of deep depression the people at The Fake Institute (TFI) were talking about a few weeks ago when this trend hit its peak.

Why would you do that to yourself, Gibbon? Didn't you know that the name "gibbon" is already hilarious? You even have a funny hairdo! Don't even pretend like you aren't disappointed in yourself and it's me you're worried about. I've dealt with far worse on a monkey, I can take it. I know you realize deep down that this was a mistake. The question is what happens when the next trend is making tools out of sticks? Are you going to be eating ants like everyone else? You're all out of whack, Gibbon, and it's just not cool anymore. It's time to part ways, I'll see you in twenty years on VH1.

35 comments:

Jezebel said...

I was wondering when we would be hearing about this. It makes me so angry I could single-handedly break those long,disgusting,gibbon arms of every single gibbon-around the entire world! Is that what you want, Gibbon? Really?!

Pearl said...

I went to junior high with a red-hair guy whose arms hung long enough that his hands reached well past his knees. It took me a lot of staring before I figured that out, which I'm sure he appreciated.
The guy was quite orangutan-looking.
I wonder where he is now...
Pearl

rob-t-firefly said...

I think what that monkey's trying to say is, "hi! I'm Martin Van Buren, eighth president of the United States! I was born in Kinderhook, New York!"

Nic said...

Wow, that is one long arm.

Shasta said...

Sorry Gibbon - you don't even get to lump yourself in with the monkeys, since in reality you are one of the lesser apes. That's right, Gibbon - LESSER apes.

Barb said...

What is going on with reverse Abraham Lincoln beard thing?

The Devil's Daughter-In-Law said...

Poor. long-armed gibbon. I think he's just misunderstood.

And incredibly disturbing with those freakish long arms.

Kendall said...

Ann Coulter + Silverback = gibbon

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

just him pop a Zani and call it a day

love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

Joy said...

Yes, but look at those BIG hands! I'd bet he's popular in the monkey world as a massage therapist.

DirtWillie said...

You know what they say about long arms...

Insults said...

Big handed bitch.

HC said...

Well, he doesn't look very happy...

Colleen said...

That 'far worse on a monkey' link was the best! Where do you find this stuff?

Technogeekboy said...

If I had black hair and white lambchop sideburns I don't think I'd leave the house, much less sit in publicly accessible trees with ridiculous arms that could serve as train crossing gates.

Tom said...

yes, Gibbons are so yesterday; very confusing to tailors with the cuffs, due to the over-large hands, and hemming the tail-hole is always a bother.

Clint Osterholz said...

I really wish that I could wrap my arms around my entire body like that fucking gibbon.

WR said...

Pro side: never having to buy a bamboo back scratcher

Con side: being constantly mistaken for Popeye's Olive Oyl

Gibbon - did you watch too many cartoons? Kind of like the human Barbie women but different...

alexandra said...

love your blog name, i do. xx

Dunesdreamer said...

Your arms would be elongated too if you wrote The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (six volumes) in longhand. And really, shaving would seem so anti-climatic after that.

otcconan said...

Gibbons are not monkeys.

They're apes. Like us.

alcoLOLz!1!! said...

yeah, monkeys have tails. it is easy to tell, just look for a tail. fuck you, fuck you penguin.

Fragrant Liar said...

Look, the last ape I dated who had big hands like that also had an enormous talliwacker. Last I heard, he went down south and grew out his hair. So I ask you, Gibbon, are you really my ex? Don't worry, I won't tell your mom. She'd be mortified that you were modeling again.

aboveyourradar said...

its lonely at the top.....people suck anyways

good thing my traps will kill anyone who tries to reach me up here

jb said...

FU....Penguin do you know how long it took me to get those two tuffs of white along my cheeks to look even!!!! even? I had to go to see the same LA hairdresseer as Lindsay Lohammmmm...FU and your 80's jokes Penguin. I haven't seen you take that Tux off in years.

Peace
JB

hirakendu said...

;)

wink said...

this is a white-cheeked gibbon - a male, btw. The females are a light tan color. (And yes, the girls' arms are JUST as ridiculously long.)

yumstationery said...

i fuckin' love this blog. lololol

nltisme said...

Them arms be fugly.

Lorraine said...

cheap wedding gowns
discount bridal gowns
China wedding dresses
discount designer wedding dresses
China wedding online store
plus size wedding dresses
cheap informal wedding dresses
junior bridesmaid dresses
cheap bridesmaid dresses
maternity bridesmaid dresses
discount flower girl gowns
cheap prom dresses
party dresses
evening dresses
mother of the bride dresses
special occasion dresses
cheap quinceanera dresses
hot red wedding dresses

传斌 said...

replica Watches
replica Watches
replica Watches
fake Watches
knockoff Watches
replica Rolex Watches
replica Breitling Watches
replica Cartier Watches
replica Omega Watches
replica Tag Heuer Watches
replica Bell & Ross Watches
replica Panerai Watches
replica IWC Watches
replica Patek Philippe Watches
replica Chopard Watches
replica Gucci Watches
replica Corum Watches
replica Montblanc Watches
replica Jacob & Co Watches
replica A.Dunhill Watches
replica A.Lange & Sohne Watches
replica Alain Silberstein Watches
replica Audemars Piguet Watches
replica B.R.M Watches
replica Baume & Mercier Watches
replica Blancpain Watches
replica BMW Watches
replica Breguet Watches
replica Burberry Watches
replica Bvlgari Watches
replica Chronoswiss Watches
replica Concord Watches
replica D&G Watches
replica De Witt Watches
replica Dior Watches

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
alim satim alis veris
alim satim alis veristhanks

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli panelgelSesli Chat panellerigor
SeslipanelsendeSesli sohbet panelleribize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
Sohbet panelleribeklemeChat panelleriyoksa
panelpismandunya panelolursun
speaky panelamaSpeakypanelis isten
sesli sohbetgecmissesli chatolacak thanks.
diyarbakirgecmisdiyarbakir gazeteleri
Sesli şehir Seslişehir
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks