Wednesday, May 27, 2009

World's Ugliest Dog Contest Unveiled!


One month from yesterday, the biggest sham in the animal world is back: the World's Ugliest Dog Contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair. When I first heard about the Ugliest Dog Contest, I thought "This is something I can get behind." I mean, ugly dogs are great. You get to play catch without all the shame and feelings of regret you get with a cute dog.

Then I watched a special on the contest on the Animal Planet. THESE DOGS ARE FUCKING ADORABLE. Take fucking Gus here. First of all HIS NAME IS GUS. Plus, he has three legs, almost no hair, and fucking cancer. Who is going to not have affection for Gus? Satan? GUS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF BERNIE MADOFF.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Gus then died of his cancer, which meant I had to to donate more money to the National Canine Cancer Foundation, WHICH I HATE DOING. But don't worry, Archie (Update:FUCK! Stop dying dogs! Or I am going to be so mad at you...) and Elwood are still alive, spreading their false sense of ugly pride all over the country. Just remember this year, if you think the World's Ugliest Dog contest is a safe place, DO NOT WATCH IT ON THE TV. It is just going to be an hour of happy tears you will never get back.

Not for me, though. I watch it for research.

40 comments:

SophisticatedBrew said...

"Who is going to not have affection for Gus? Satan?"

LOL - nicely put. These ugly dogs are full of emotional manipulation. You want to judge and laugh at them...But then you end up loving them. THEY ARE THE DOG VERSION OF SUSAN BOYLE!

Keep writing.
http://www.grinandbeerit.blogspot.com

NQbass7 said...

Is there a requirement that you have to have your tongue hanging out of the side of your mouth to even qualify for the ugliest dog contest?

vinomom said...

I actually saw Elwood in person a couple years ago at a Pet Expo. Yes I went to a Pet Expo.

I don't think Gus beats Elwood but I don't want to talk ill of the deceased.

Jezebel said...

Dammit Gus! Way to twist the knife in my back. I, mean, you were so ugly you were cute and then you're gone just when I began to care about you! It's cruel and unfair. I miss you! Come back! Please!

Dr. Jay SW said...

No question--something I learned long ago is that dog "ugliness" is simple hidden cuteness...and a major part of their plot to dominate the human race (which, obviously, they're doing pretty well at...I mean, how many species do you know of that walk around waiting for another species to crap and then pick it up for them?

Nicole oh-so Lovely said...

i see a trend here...no hair, oversized tongue.....they are just ripping of each other!

love,
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

sharazad said...

I miss the good old days when ugly creatures would slink off and be ashamed of themselves.

This is disgusting.

HC said...

Ugly dog, but ugly dogs need love too...

Beckett said...

OK, Gus had cancer. That didn't excuse the narcissistic little look he was giving the camera. He's on his back getting his belly rubbed yet he couldn't reciprocate all that love and affection. Nope - he's checking to see if he might find just a little more adoration waiting in the wings. Sad.

...and Elwood is clearly high.

Becky said...

Those Chinese Cresteds are DOMINATING the Ugly Dog Contests.
How is it that a single breed can be so SMUG and so UGLY and still WIN time and time again? Shameful.

syrupsniph said...

Sorry, but Archie also died last year. Looks like you'll need to donate to a Chinese Crested foundation, or something.

Phil Bennett said...

Oh you ugly, cute things. I can't look at you in the eyes, because you are missing one. You poor, pathetic creatures.

Bless you, bless you, bless you. Win that ugly dog contest up in heaven.

Peace,

Phil

Dejahmi by Beth Respess said...

how the hell did elwood get a mohawk?

hirakendu said...

;-)

Insults said...

Gus rhymes with pus.
That is all the reason you need to love and animal.

KD said...

Elwood looks like Yoda puking up a pink wash cloth after a three day bender. Stupid ugly-cute dog!

Kerri Love said...

My own dog has this deceptive quality. If we cut his hair short, he almost looks ugly, but if his hair is long, he's cute as hell... Ohhh that Bailey is a real class A con artist... making me love him by using all his disgustingly cute tricks. I mean just look at him in this before and after pic... http://i44.tinypic.com/i6l7x3.jpg ...my avitar alone show's his disgusting decpetion, curling his tongue all cutely.

He's really just disgusting.

mermayd said...

i just...i can't...really...ok, dogs are my #1 favorite animal... i just can't find anything wrong with these horrible cute little creatures!!!!

ensalaco said...

These little fuckers GLOW IN THE DARK.. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/27/glowing-baby-monkeys-marm_n_208296.html

Racquel Valencia said...

But seriously? I was so much happier before I saw that picture of Elwood. Dear God. It's like that time I saw pictures of Tara Reid's botched tummy tuck.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go wash my eyeballs and brain.

VintageRedhead said...

NQbass7, that was a seriously funny comment. And I'm in the hospital right now. And still found it funny.

Seriously.

melszigg said...

I met Elwood. He's a local, and I got to pet him. He makes you want to protect him and make sure every thing is ok for him. How does he do that??? It's just not fair!

Snap E Comeback said...

Elwood is clearly not a dog, but a Gremlin. That is Stripe from Gremlins, don't be fooled.

WR said...

Dog as just too dangerous & sneaky! When they fail to win us over by being loyal no matter what kind of an A.H. we've been, they come at us through the back door and are both Ugly and Hopeless and STILL love us and we haven't changed...we're still human A.H's

The cards are stacked. It is a rigged game. I'm going to confront my 3 legged dog with the facts...well...right after I groom & pick up after him and let him cuddle for awhile....

talulah gosh said...

pabst is killing me with cuteness. KILLING ME!!

RNLee said...

Yeah, my Uncle's old dog fang won like second place in that thing back in the eighties. Same deal with him - wretched old adorably ugly thing with his tongue eternally lolling out of his mouth.

nltisme said...

The uglier one of these is, the harder your heart breaks! Dammit.....

Lorraine said...

cheap wedding gowns
discount bridal gowns
China wedding dresses
discount designer wedding dresses
China wedding online store
plus size wedding dresses
cheap informal wedding dresses
junior bridesmaid dresses
cheap bridesmaid dresses
maternity bridesmaid dresses
discount flower girl gowns
cheap prom dresses
party dresses
evening dresses
mother of the bride dresses
special occasion dresses
cheap quinceanera dresses
hot red wedding dresses

SoCooLBob said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWQ4q6iKQJE

iangoole said...

I agree that Elwood should elicit no sympathy whatsoever, the fucker had most certainly been making some bones in movies, as well as the roles mentioned he's been seen doing stunt double work for Sam Jackson.

iangoole said...

That Elwood should not be eliciting any sympathy whatsover, he's been making some bones on movies for years, as well as the roles already mentioned he's been seen doing stunt double work for Sam Jackson.

传斌 said...

replica Watches
replica Watches
replica Watches
fake Watches
knockoff Watches
replica Rolex Watches
replica Breitling Watches
replica Cartier Watches
replica Omega Watches
replica Tag Heuer Watches
replica Bell & Ross Watches
replica Panerai Watches
replica IWC Watches
replica Patek Philippe Watches
replica Chopard Watches
replica Gucci Watches
replica Corum Watches
replica Montblanc Watches
replica Jacob & Co Watches
replica A.Dunhill Watches
replica A.Lange & Sohne Watches
replica Alain Silberstein Watches
replica Audemars Piguet Watches
replica B.R.M Watches
replica Baume & Mercier Watches
replica Blancpain Watches
replica BMW Watches
replica Breguet Watches
replica Burberry Watches
replica Bvlgari Watches
replica Chronoswiss Watches
replica Concord Watches
replica D&G Watches
replica De Witt Watches
replica Dior Watches

products said...

China Wholesalers has been described as the world’s factory. buy products wholesaleThis phenomenom is typified by the rise ofbusiness. Incredible range of products available with China Wholesale “Low Price and High Quality” not only reaches directly to their target clients worldwide but also ensures that wholesale from china from China means margins you cannot find elsewhere and China Wholesale will skyroket your profits.china wholesale productsbuy china wholesalewholesale chinawholesale productsbuy products

products said...

We offer designer , custom wedding dress, cheap cell phonescheap wedding dressesbridal gowns, wedding gowns, Flower Girl Dresses andwholesale cell phonesso on. Buy tailor-made anddesigner wedding dresses designer to be a special brides now!

products said...

Wholesale Gemstone cheap Gemstone Jewelry from China, discount wholesale jewelry Beads, wholesale Gemstone jewelry cheapest Wholesale Naruto anime and manga cheap cosplay costumes, cheap Naruto cosplay costumes on sale, buy Naruto cosplay naruto online shop.Wholesale anime and manga wholesale crystal jewelry costumes, cheap cosplay costumes on sale, buy anime cosplay costumes online shop

LAN said...

puma mens shoes
puma shoes
puma speed
nike shoes
nike air
nike air shoes
nike air max 90
nike air max 95
nike air max tn
nike air rift
nike shox r4
nike air max 360
nike shox nz
puma cat
air max trainers
mens nike air max
sports shoes
nike air rifts
nike air rift trainer
nike air
nike shoes air max
nike shoes shox
air shoes
Lucyliu IS Lucyliu
nike shoe cart
puma future
cheap puma
nike rift
jeans shop
diesel jeans
levis jeans
nike rift shoes
cheap nike air rifts
bape shoes

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
alim satim alis veris
alim satim alis veristhanks

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli panelgelSesli Chat panellerigor
SeslipanelsendeSesli sohbet panelleribize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
Sohbet panelleribeklemeChat panelleriyoksa
panelpismandunya panelolursun
speaky panelamaSpeakypanelis isten
sesli sohbetgecmissesli chatolacak thanks.
diyarbakirgecmisdiyarbakir gazeteleri
Sesli şehir Seslişehir
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks