Friday, July 3, 2009

Jaguarundis think they can just waltz into your heart


Okay, so this is pretty cute, but then you place this article on the net like you can just all of the sudden get special treatment just because you kind of look like an otter when you put your head up. Entitled jerk is all "Hey, I'm cute, send me money!" Frankly, Jaguarundi, I expect more from lesser-known cats.

I can occasionally look like an otter, you know, yet I'm not asking for handouts. I don't care how endangered you are, THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME. Yet I go on with my life, just trying to work hard and get ahead. Maybe if you did something notable like starring in a Dreamworks animated movie or if a gay one of you adopted a baby jaguarundi you would get a little more attention. But you can't just sit back and wait for it to come to you just because I'm looking into how easy it is to domesticate you, Jaguarundi. So get an agent, start knocking on doors, and do this thing the old fashioned way. No shortcuts.

27 comments:

martigny said...

What do you expect from an animal whose name is a combination of another animal (jaguar) and a country (Burundi)? Of course it's not going to work for a living when it could be pleading poverty and then salting all the charity proceeds away in secret Swiss bank accounts.

@eloh said...

This picture, the link, the video, why have I never heard of this cat before?

Very cute baby, but the big one don't look very soft, guess no one ever wanted to kill them for their pelts....so fuck 'em

HC said...

I would send that cat money....

hirakendu said...

;)

Z said...

IF there were a lolJaguarundis site, I MIGHT check it occasionally. Like once a month. I would not add it to a reader or subscribe to email updates or anything.

trulymadlydeeply said...

Clearly you are not familiar with a Jaguarundi's MO (not a shock, they're a mystery to themselves). But if they were like every other damn wildcat out there, whoring themselves out via a third-person medium, they wouldn't have the presence of mind to cultivate how FUCKING AWESOME they keep it.
And they didn't "place" that article.
Pure media intrigue. I mean, can you blame the Houston Press?!
J ROCK

Mad Gypsy said...

Man, fuck that otter cat.

Soda and Candy said...

I love jaguar undies.

oh wait...

Funny in my mind said...

You might enjoy this
http://www.jamesgunn.com/evolution-fucked-your-shit-up-the-worlds-50-freakiest-animals

Helen said...

This jaguarundi is just mocking us:
http://www.felineconservation.org/uploads/x1ex_pulling_the_jaguarundi_tail.jpg

misha1234 said...

..or if a gay one of you adopted a baby jaguarundi you would get a little more attention.. HILLARIOUS!

Jaguarundis is stupid name. Probably why we don't care.

WR said...

What kind of agent would let his client sleep in cacti? This otter/cat needs more help than we realized.

frigginloon said...

Oh please I had one of these and it ripped the shit out of couch! Cute my arse!

Glory von Hathor said...

Enjoy your proportional head:body ratio while you can, baby otter-jag, 'cause when you grow up, your body is going to make your head look like a walnut.

I'm not even kidding. The adult you looks like a freaking sock puppet.

gregory said...

(Sigh) Two things cat.

That look on your face,wipe it off now.

Otters may be alot of things,but,they sure as hell don't need your mixed-messages beaming around cyber space.I am trying to just sit and enjoy my coffee and brownie and your demon glare is not going over well.Leave the OTTERS alone Fucker.Ok,well have a happy 4th.

Michelle said...

Maybe if the Jaguarundis had an easier to spell or pronounce name Dream Works would pick them up. Try a stage name Jaguarundis! You are making us work too hard.

Eva Gallant said...

I love reading this blog and the comments. Wish I were witty enough to write something clever; no such luck. I guess I'll just continue to eavesdrop and secretly chuckle!

Mike! said...

What a pussy. This is the cat that got it's ass kicked after school every fucking day. You know, I'd tell him, "It's that stupid name and haircut, dude. Get grip and get a life!" But he never listened, now look at him. And I don't feel sorry for him. Nope. Not one bit.

Grahame said...

Is that a roach in its mouth? I wouldn't be surprised, it looks like a pot smoker. everyone knows catnip is a gateway drug.

nltisme said...

Does the Jaguarundi drive a Jaguar.....meow baby!

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Erika said...

It's so cute, I want to beat it to death with a hammer. I bet the Aztecs didn't put up with this "cuteness' very long. I bet they ate jaguarundis every Sunday afternoon while watching Aztec basketball. and they killed them by ripping out their still beating hearts and waving it in front of their cute little faces too!

Singingnettle said...

Well, you can domesticate them, but I don't know if you'd want to. I saw a wild one near my house in Texas and these are big, muscular animals. Consider the shredding of your person and belongings that the average little kittycat can do if it's in the mood to do so...now pump up Kittycat on steroids to about three feet in length and about two feet in height...yeppers. Might as well just throw away your couch, furniture, and face right now.

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