Monday, July 20, 2009

Ocelots should be more careful with technology


Dear Ocelot,

I'm really glad you like the blog, but I am actually a human, and therefore I am not attracted to cats. Furthermore, I find your casual distribution of seductive pictures on the internet to be HIGHLY inadvisable, and would recommend that you are more careful with photos of yourself in compromising positions. In order to teach you a lesson, I've posted this photo on the blog so you can see that once something is online, it's forever.

Sincerely,
FUP

PS I don't know if it is you who has been calling my house at odd hours of the night and purring into the phone, but if it is, please stop.

On Sun, Jul 19, 2009 at 1:45 AM, Ocelot [ocelot4you@*********] wrote:
Hey baby,

I love the blog. I thought maybe we could get together some time. Do you happen to live in Costa Rica? E-mail me and maybe we can get together and see what happens? I've attached a pic I hope u like.

Love,
Ocelot

51 comments:

Charles said...

LMAO

kunstwerk said...

Oh you're back!

Nic said...

What a slut!

BethO said...

bahahahaha

Barb said...

This is going to come back to bite it. Right when it gets a lead role in a Disney movie.

chaobell said...

Ugh. Fuck you and your little sweet pink nose, Ocelot.

girl6 said...

You think this is bad, you should the MySpace pics.

Total.

Skank.

Ho.

Next stop, The Smoking Gun Mugshot Roundup.

I'm telling you, Ocelot. You can't use meth "just until I lose 7lbs".

You're better off using that "I look like Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes" thingy if you want to steal a reality TV "star" from his wife and eight babies.

hiphophippie.com said...

I just broke-up with an ocelot. He was a total man-whore.

Kendell said...

http://www.rathergood.com/ocelot

The leopard one is better, but this one seemed fitting!

nltisme said...

I hear this one has a sex tape floating around out there too. I'd steer clear....seems like a total slut to me!

Byron said...

That's not an ocelot, that's Chris Hansen trying to bait animal lovers.

Mike! said...

Look, just because there's an "A lot" in your name doesn't mean you have to you know. Spotty cat slut. What a whore!

OscarOne said...

I dated one once. Everything was going well until our first anniversary and I had to meet her parents. She was all pissy that they made her ride in baggage on the plane; I got pretty upset when the parents served dinner the first night and it was a whole, partially dead young zebra. I was like “You guys east live zebra?!”, and they were like “No, usually mice and rats, but it’s a special occasion…son and law!”

We broke up about a year ago, and while it's nice to move on the child support payments--all 12 of them--are killing me.

anne h said...

Does *something* alot, but I doubt it's *ocelot!*
Just what, I won't say!

Pizza Girl said...

I bet that's one clingy pussy when you break up with her.

HC said...

Purrrrrr, what r u wearing? :-P

ailsa said...

I cant resist, this is such a slutty post...
How do you titillate an ocelot?
You oscillate its tit alot.

un-bride said...

It's about time you told off the f**king ocelot. That bastard's had it coming.

Soda and Candy said...

What a whore.

; )

Eric said...

Provocative? Sure, but an ocelot is no tiger in the sack. Send your impropriety elsewhere!

RLM3 said...

I hope you know someone is encroaching on your way of taking animals down a notch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8NxAaat-7U

Eva Gallant said...

She probably sluts around freely without using any protection! STD laden pussy!

Theresa said...

Have you seen this guy?http://www.nydailynews.com/news/galleries/the_worlds_ugliest_animals_/the_worlds_ugliest_animals_.html#ph6

melszigg said...

Ocelot hussey.

hirakendu said...

;)

Julian said...

That catty bitch!

WR said...

I am mortified! FU,P - were you not just in Paris with a new bride? What the bloom is off the rose already? Not once did you mention to Ocelot that you were in a committed relationship. What a convenient omission. Of course she is calling and leaving purr messages on the voice mail. WE all know where this is going!

I'm thinking - new reality series!

Dunesdreamer said...

Ocelot: from the Latin Oce, to see + alote, pussy.

Robbie said...

Ocelot wants to fuckalot! It's like Paris but with built in fur coats

Nkauj Ntses said...

LOL. Ocelot sounds sexy.

gmarp84 said...

God, Ocelot, you're not even eighteen. Slow down there.

sharazad said...

If this spotted floozy ever runs for Miss America, these pictures will end it all...let that be a lesson to young cats with big dreams...

Susan said...

really? I heard she was a lesbian, and in a relationship with a manx.

The Dangster said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOB6EzZ_TE4

jarsika said...

Okay SERIOUSLY! How did I NOT find you before! I was already in tears by the time I got to the third posting. BWAHAHAHAHA!

xo

Blueberry

uosuaq said...

Please. More like Ocelittle.

Arie said...

Oh, Ocelot, I thought we had something real, but as it turns out you're just like all the rest of the attention-seeking whores. Fuck you, Ocelot, and the Horse you rod in on.

frigginloon said...

FU Penguin, that's my dead bro after he was shot by hunters. Where's friggin Geragos' number, I'm gonna sue your ass off! Insensitive bastards.

Dave said...

Hey Oce-take your crap act somewhere else.

Beckett said...

Next it's going to be an Annie Liebovitz spread in vanity fair a date with Nick Jonas. I can't believe your father lets you get away with this shit Ocelot.

xrayunicorn said...

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Have you considered the possibility that ocelots might be the new playboy bunny? Kind of like how FUP is the new black? You follow me? "Analogies" and all that?

Because this is what I'm thinking. You round up all the ocelots. You put them in a mansion. You get an old rich guy who is creepy as fuck to wear a silk robe and lounge around with the ocelots. Then every once in a while, you throw a mixer for the playboy ocelots and the playboy bunnies to fraternize and "catch up" and exchange stories and tips. And also, the ocelots will eat some of the bunnies, and in this way, help to keep the bunny population down, because overbreeding is an issue in the bunny population, as we all know.

Anyways, that's what I'm thinking. The intensity in this ocelot's eyes could fuel a jet plane. I would just hate to see all of that positive energy wasted.

Love,
xrayunicorn.blogspot.com

Nanodance said...

I just became a follower and the confirmation message said,

"Congratulations, Nanodance
You are now following Fuck You, Penguin."

I am so proud.

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Norma Jean said...

ocelot, do you have an objection to my using your image on FC? much better than what i've got going.....
you go girl...

Heather said...

phish wrote you a song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZ5au_C3TPc

Alex Catgirl said...

You are just jealous of Ocelot cuteness .... Stupid Sow.

PS The Penguins say fuck you and your mother too!

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