Friday, July 31, 2009

An overview of how lives are destroyed


A brief outline of a Fuck You, Penguin post on this photo.

I. The animals.

A. A fawn that was briefly separated from its mother.

B. A pit bull from a shelter.

II. The situation.

A. The fawn wanted to nurse from the pit bull.

1. It is a MALE pit bull.

a. Awkwardly funny, but also adorable.

III. The clincher.

A. Here is a male pit bull from a shelter kissing an abandoned fawn.

1. Link to photo (NSFW).

a. Last straw??

IV. Epilogue.

A. The fawn was later returned to its mother.

V. Conclusion.

A. Kill me right fucking now.

41 comments:

Cherlindrea said...

Wow, that was an amazing outline. You should teach Freshman Comp classes at all major universities so the little snot-noses can learn how to do it right!

Thank you for making my morning.

Marie said...

Those little assholes. At least the fawn didn't turn around and start sucking from the other nozzle.

Blogaga said...

My life has been destroyed by such an incident. Noooo little deer...noooooo.

tk13 said...

The pit bull was lulling the fawn into a false sense of security; let it "suckle" from its "teat", create a bond between the two of them, and then...BOOM. Lunch-time.

Philippe said...

@Cherlindrea

Actually it was not an amazing outline because you're not supposed to use 'A' unless there's also a 'B' or '1' unless there's also '2' or 'a' unless there's also 'b'.

Instead of having an A then a 1 under it you should just have A then B.

Additionally, no major heading (I, II, etc..) should have just one letter beneath it, instead another heading should be made.

I didn't really care until you said that it an exemplary outline, but yea...

It's All Good said...

disgusting.

HC said...

Hahaha, too funny!

Funny in my mind said...

Why do you keep doing this to me?, when I thought humanity was lost, it has really just gone to the dogs.

PersonalFailure said...

Stop trying to bring peace to the world, little fawn. We like our violence and we'll be happy to teach you all about it.

Kierstin Bridger said...

Will be attending Morgan Freeman's Mississippi Prom? I don't often get a chance to spell Mississippi enough see.

Noelle said...

Pitbull, you're a disgrace to your breed. You're supposed to tear baby fawns to pieces, not kiss them.

Haley said...

It appears that you are a master note taker...I want that dog..he would match my pit bull...I need him now!

Donna said...

Ah, but was he trying to kiss him or was he trying to BITE him?

hiphophippie.com said...

I see political correctness has reached the animal kingdom. What, is this pitbull running for office? President of the Douches? Great.

Nic said...

Are you sure he's kissing it and not trying to bite its head off?

Soda and Candy said...

I've definitely just been killed by that photo.

frigginloon said...

Come on people, it's obvious, the PitBull has it in a noselock and once the camera ain't looking, it will be visiting Bambi's mom real soon!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Could be a transgendered pit bull.

I'm just sayin'...

Eva Gallant said...

I think he's just taking a sample lick--a little appetizer before downing din din!

girl6 said...

This is fucking bullshit, man. Next thing, the pit and the fawn will have a beer together at the White House. That pit bull hates America. What the--that fawn just thumbed her nose at the troops!

It's just not right. I demand birth cretificates from both of you. Little spotted fawn, I don't care if you were born two hours ago in the woods behind my house.

girl6 said...

...I mean certificates. Fuck you, brain-addling cuteness.

word verification: unison...it's a conspiracy.

mlaiuppa said...

That wasn't a kiss. That was a taste.

Entrepreneur Chick said...

Well, at least it wasn't an ex dog of Michael Vick. I loathe that man. I truly do. And I hope any NFL team that has the audacity to pick his lame ass up, loses every single game they play. Oh yes I do.
I'm going to start a new blog called, FUCK YOU, MICHAEL VICK. (Always an entrepreneur...)

U-PP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eva G. said...

Have they no shame?

Nothing Stops said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nothing Stops said...

I...I just puked in my mouth a little. The nuzzle was bad, but the kiss? Really, Pitbull...Really? Was that necessary?

Will Daddario said...

It reminds me of the carnage over at: http://www.peachygreen.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/6.jpg

hirakendu said...

;)

thwany said...

you should write children's books, i would've loved reading a story like this as a kid.

goose said...

this picture is the new poster child for pit bulls - in your face anti- "aggressive" breed losers!

Beckett said...

I actually feel a little bad for the pitbull. Not because he doesn't have any friends among his own kind.

Obviously he's trying to make friends with an impressionable young deer so he can fill its head with lots of self-inflated bullshit about how no music made after 1984 is worth a damn.

I feel bad for him because he's going to loose the little deer as a friend too. Know why dog? Not even deer like pussies.

Mike! said...

How long must we endure this freakish unnatural horror?

xrayunicorn said...

Pitbull clearly has a date later with the bunny in your previous post, and needs to make sure his armpit smell does not offend.

It's hard for him to raise his front legs over his head to check it out for himself (not that he hasn't tried), so Bambi offers to venture into the void, because her mother never taught her to know better, because obviously her mother is dead (did you even watch the movie?)

And later Bambi's eyes are watering so much from the noxious fumes under there that the pitbull thinks she's crying, and tries to lick her other-species tears away. But it's too late.

WR said...

Next you will be telling us that PEACE is possible.

Miss M. said...

Shock and horror :D

If Animals are this confused, how should we be ?

[ J ] said...

Dear Fawn & Dog,

This is why the terrorists hate the United States.

Please quit it. Full stop.


Regards,
Everyone
http://regardseveryone.blogspot.com/

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