Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This is just a giant pile of wrong


Cuddle parties have finally made their way into the Degu community. This is making me super pissed-off because it's a bunch of fucking degus laying on each other in a mess of ears, whiskers, and tiny noses. But the parties are also leading to a greater level of inappropriate degu behavior. We all know that cuddle parties start out as innocent ways to have fun, but quickly degenerate into this.

Degus are particularly susceptible to this because they already have low self-esteem since guinea pigs and chinchillas get so much more attention. If you have a degu, DO NOT LET THEM GO TO A CUDDLE PARTY. I don't care if they say it helps them "keep warm," just tell them you go to work every day to put a roof over their heads so they aren't out in the cold, which is exactly where they'll be if they don't listen to you. Trust me, it's for their own good. They will thank you when they are older.

52 comments:

yellaalley95 said...

LMAO!!! Those dang Degu's...trying to go off to "cuddle parties"...

donkeyinawhitecoat said...

And don't kid yourselves. You know at least two of those Degus are pooping WHILE cuddling.

anne h said...

Its like Degu view all over again!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

OMG!! How the hell did you get that second photo? OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Noelle said...

Dumb ass degus. If any of you ever dreamed of a career in politics - forget about it.

@eloh said...

Very interactive post..and thanks for presenting the WHOLE ugly story. One day I hope that I too will get flowers from my pets and children for steering them clear of the demon sex.

Nic said...

WHAT THE HELL? Bunch of idiots. Although the last pic got me.

Mister 1-2-3-4 said...

Now that is just a hot mess right there. What, do they think it's still the seventies? Casual sex isn't cool anymore, Degus. Put away your bell bottoms and gold chains and GROW UP.

Life With Dogs said...

I'm seeing a giant pile of hats....anyone up for singing Davey Crockett?

Barb said...

Wait a sec. Are you sure you aren't jumping to conclusions?

Maybe this is the start of a world record attempt for how many Degus you can fit in a cage?

Dunesdreamer said...

That's almost as big a cluster fuck as Congress.

nltisme said...

Oooohhhh I wanna be in a cuddle party too, especially one that leads to something like the second photo....cuddle cuddle cuddle!

Rhinoism said...

You reckon they flipped for who went on the bottom row?

Mike! said...

I'm sorry, did I miss a memo? Is it slut week on FUP?

WR said...

First I thought 'okay, let's get a group of right-wing ladies together and ask them knit little suits for the Degus - to help keep them warm and then ergo - morally correct (like a chastity belt but different).

Then I changed my mind.

Knit suits will have to be dry cleaned and who exactly is going to pay for that?

Didn't James Kirk have this exact same problem in the Trouble with Tribles. Are Degus really Tribles?

Damn, it is always complicated with FU,P!
;-)

Mardel said...

OMG - thanks for the laugh. You made an old woman's day! (okay, sort of old)

hiphophippie.com said...

That looks like a giant pile of Care Bear poop.

jflorek said...

That place probably stinks to high heaven.

Eva Gallant said...

Looks like an orgy in fur coats!
That's one party invite I'm glad I missed! EEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwww!ww

Lisa said...

They can cuddle all they want and live in denial. It won't change the fact that we all die alone!

trulymadlydeeply said...

Hmm.
I had a suspicion that you were into softnfuzzy-core porn.

Confirmed.

Just don't let your wife catch you f!$ing another bitch.

Dgystyl

Alexa said...

You know where else they made piles like this? Abu Graib. You can just see the soulless dejection in these Degus' eyes.

HC said...

Lol, the wikipedia link is too funny...

Tamara said...

Another pileup - http://mcfarlanddesigns.blogspot.com/2008/07/blog-post.html

girl6 said...

Oh my g--think of the children, you morally bankrupt tossers. This, THIS! is what we're talking about when we talk about the threat to marriage in America. Six of my friends are divorced now from being exposed to deviant crap like this.

Get thee behind me, you sleepy-eyed, fuzzysoft, warm, chubby demons. And you two on the ledge, get a fucking clue and a room.

ha! word verification: hoties.

frigginloon said...

I once went to a cuddle party and got meself 5 pairs of slippers!

frigginloon said...

Come on, they are all just trying to avoid the wet spot, duh!

kathcom said...

That image is so upsetting. If you just put a few hoods and electrodes on them, they look like a guy pile from Abu Ghraib. Add Lynndie England pointing the finger guns and you have a nice shot to send home to the folks.

terraelise said...

I'm pretty sure I now need one of these.

xrayunicorn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
xrayunicorn said...

I'm sorry to break this to you, FUP, but that is not a cuddle party. That is a cheerleading squad of fat teenage girl degus, and this is their first practice.

The one on top there (I think her name is Cindy) lied about her weight. "Oh, no, guys, it's okay, I only weigh 4 ounces, I won't fall off the top of the pyramid. You can hold me up." And the ones underneath her are all thinking, "No way are you even a pinch less than 8 ounces, but also no way am I going up there where all the teenage male degus are going to see my thigh fat on their way back from soccer practice."

So FUP, I see where you're coming from, but also let's have a little compassion. Because even though we may not all have taken part in a pile, we've all taken part in puberty. It's just one of those disasters that can't be avoided, and all we can do is watch in sympathy and have a stretcher at the ready when Cindy comes tumbling down.

Sincerely,

xrayunicorn.blogspot.com

hirakendu said...

;)

Independent George said...

Don't be fooled by the flowers - that last one is giving you the finger!

Glory von Hathor said...

Sometimes the whole is not greater than the sum of the parts. You suck at Gestalt, Degus.

yellaalley95 said...

I tagged you for the honest scrap award... Go check out my blog to get the deatils!

Miss M. said...

That's just bad !!! -Leaves- -second thoughts- -peeps- -Loves it- LOL Animals have the right to have fun too ! ;)

Lorrie said...

I can't breathe!

I guess the Degu's are getting sex education in school, either.

yarravillewahine said...

I showed that picture to my cat Willie. Now he wants a Cuddle Party of his own. Every few minutes.

Simon Food Favourites said...

very funny !!!!! love the blog :-)

ferretluvbone said...

2 words - Deep fry.

kim at allconsuming said...

I wonder how many babies came from that furry gang bang?

Beckett said...

Degu: "Oh, wow! My first year at college was soooooo awesome. I just met so many interesting people, you know."

Degu Mom: "How are your classes going honey?"

Degu: "God mom! They're fine - but college is really so much more about new experiences than it is about grades."

Look Degu. You're parents are mortgaged to their fucking eyeballs to pay for you to get an education. The least you can do is go to class and graduate.

This shit with the X parties leads straight to you dropping out the second semester of your sophomore year and working at the coffee shop until you are 27. Unlike body fluids, that kind of shame doesn't wash off.

Robert "Cranelegs" Crane said...

what you fail to mention is that it is a cuddle party for women of the same sex. i think that will change th opinion of some of your male readers, like me for example.

you go degu!

nathan said...

Fuck Yous, Degus

Melissa said...

I was bitten by a degu. Took a ful year to recover feeling in that finger! Fuck you degu!

Buzzy said...

You guys are awful funny...

Erika said...

God, these things disgust me. I want to take a big handful of them, and toss them into a wood chippper, record the screams, and save it as a ring tone.
these fucking rodents are too hairy to be rats, and not cute enough to be chinchillas. They look like mice on steroids! Hope you're banned from baseball, you ugly, black death carrying rodents!

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rustyoneill said...

those bastards love orgies. especially blind orgies. they don't care who they're doing as long as they're doing it. freaking nasty mc-nastys!