Monday, August 3, 2009

For fuck's sake, adopt this dog


British people (I know you're there) I need a favor. ADOPT THIS DOG RIGHT FUCKING NOW. This article depicts a cunning dog that is using sympathy to infiltrate my mind and make me sad. SAD, PEOPLE. I don't have time to be sad: I HAVE A BOOK COMING OUT.

The dog's name is E.T., which makes the whole thing worse because in the movie E.T. was just trying to get home and now this dog wants a home and if you people don't take this fucking dog out of that cage and bring it home and give it a biscuit I'm going to be VERY UPSET. Look at him. He's regal, people! Once he is adopted, he'll be just another dog. His power will be neutralized!

British people, we have done so much for you. Now is your time! Trust me, it was a huge hassle to cart all the money you were making off of the colonies back across the Atlantic. We did you a favor! I promise if one of you takes this dog, we can call it even. I don't even care what misguidedly cute things you do with it. You can dress it up in a medieval costume and paint portraits of it for all I care. Just, please, get it out of my sight.

46 comments:

The Silver Spring Penguin said...

Goddammit, dog! The very sight of you is burning holes through my retinas. You're like a sick hybrid of "101 Dalmatians" and the dead Taco Bell chihuahua.

Get a goddamn life.

Simon Food Favourites said...

oh dear, what happened to that dog!

Nic said...

I'm British but...I'm sorry, I don't want it.

@eloh said...

It appears to be a Chinese Crested...just another product of China gone horribly wrong...

Your Daily Cute said...

Oh, poor doggie... Someone give him a home! I bet he'd be the best, friendliest, most appreciative dog ever!

The Elusive Loo said...

No, I don't want it, you can't make me. Stupid Mexicans why do they think we'd want a hairless dog. Surely the fur is part of the dogs appeal.

This dog has scarred me for life.

frigginloon said...

Was that dog born anywhere near Chernobyl? Will I get sick patting it? Man, what happened to it? It's like, genetically modified to be ugly assed!

frigginloon said...

That dogs not doing the friggin Vulcan greeting is it? Get it the fuck away from me!!!!!!

It's All Good said...

That dog is ugly.

You should see my bosses attention whore kitten, if he rubs up my leg purring and licks at my toes one more time, so help me god....

grey said...

are you sure it's even a dog?
It just looks like an old man who spends too much time in the sun. Except with the head of a dog. Perhaps it's the ancient greek god of melanoma?

M.J. said...

I think he's cute! But, who wants to pet a hairless dog? The idea of stroking that spotted skin kinda makes me wanna puke.

Dr. Jay SW said...

I don't know who I hate more...sad looking dogs or the heartless British who won't adopt them...

Rhinoism said...

Are they liver spots? That means its bloody old and has no bowel or sphincter control! Its not pooping on my carpet! Be gone baldy!

HC said...

Oh poor dog!

leftwithnothing said...

why is that giraffe stealing that dogs face?

seriously. put your own face back on and chances are you'll be adopted.

Gorilla Gal said...

i wish i was british.
just for a day.

buradical said...

FUP writer, is this a fake picture or is there a kennel to actually get this dog at? I am German and I will reinvade those tea baggers to get to that dog! But seriously, how do we get the dog?

sharazad said...

Hello- aren't spots out of style? What respectable Brit would be caught dead walking an outdated dog?

Gaina said...

'We've done so much for you'...what you mean the Big Mac and 'The Hills'? Gee thanks...

I was all ready to get in the car and welcome him with open arms but fortunately my cat saw past his little game and promised me that if 'that thing' came within 100 miles of HIS house, he'd shit in my favourite pair of slippers every day for the next 12 months.

He's the master of tough love, my cat.

ZenGrouch said...

That's not a dog...

...that's a panda bear with a severe case of the mange.

Don't let that motherfucker lick ya' whatever you do.

Dante said...

Man that dog is so awesome! I wish I lived there, I'd adopt it in a heartbeat!

gregoryyy said...

That's Vivienne Westwood.

El said...

This one truly makes me feel bad.
Damn you, FUP, go back to cotton balls and dead stuffed ermine.

girl6 said...

Aw, jeez. God damn it. Look at him. We can't all be supermodels. He's probably the best fucking friend you'll ever have in your whole damn life. He just wants to go home.

im so hikki said...

ET phone home D:

Princess Pony said...

I have one of these dogs!! He is the best dog i have ever had or met!!! Hairlessness RULES!

Chalkster said...

The Mail Online?! And I thought you were cool man.

WR said...

Give me a tiny break FU,P. Bad enough that I already live with THREE rescue dogs - now you post this! It will be fretful moment after fretful moment wondering if the F'in dog was adopted! BTW: Ugly is the new pretty.

Eric said...

Looks a bit giraffey...

Jules said...

That may be the ugliest dog EVER! Good God.

name withheld said...

I don't know what that is, but it is NOT a chinese crested. Chinese cresteds have long silky hair, not fur, on their heads but not their muzzle, nor on their body, not even a little as this one does. They have ears that stick up. They have a lean fine-boned physique similar to a whippet and are much much smaller than this dog is--part of the toy breed.

This looks like a dog that has suffered some sort of skin disease.

cynth said...

I want this dog.

@eloh said...

WARNING: DO NOT CLICK ON THIS PICTURE TO ENLARGE!!!

I saw titties and have been blinded. Looks like a possums head but I still think it is a Chinese Crested because of the spotted skin and the tail.

Perilous said...

That's the most beautiful doggie I've ever seen. <3<3<3 I wish I could take him home.

Miss M. said...

Okay, so he's ...ummmm.."different"; has fur where he shouldn't and hasn't fur where he should...:D

I like this dog-alien, just don't know if my cat would...probably not.

Well but I'm not British, so I'm passing the buck XD

@eloh said...

Well, I have to admit being a dumbass...I went to the site and it says in fairly big fucking letters that it is indeed a Mexican Hairless....can't get any clearer....I guess I was just blinded by the titties.

I would like to apologise to the Chinese but, hey, the dog probably got especially ugly eating the tainted Chinese dog food.

@eloh said...

I woke up this morning to some chinese porn spam comments on my site.

Lukily, my daughter was up and told me what it was. I was all into translating when she pointed out it was all links...sex...oh my

My daughter said I should feel very proud that a shitty little blog like mine got "hit".... so FUCK YOU CHINESE PORN SPAMER...and thanks...I think.

hirakendu said...

;)

Abagale said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Betty

http://smallpet.info

k s said...

He's been adopted! Yay. :)

Shawn said...

Are those liver spots?

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sohbet merkezi chat merkezi
Sesli merkezi sesli Sohbet merkezi
Sesli chat merkezi Sohbetmerkezi
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Seslimuhabbet sesli muhabbet
alim satim alis veris
alim satim alis veristhanks

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.

ibrahim said...

Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
SesliSohbetsendeSesliChatbize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
SeslibeklemeChatyoksa
Sohbetpismankamerali Chatolursun
kamerali SohbetamaSesli siteleris isten
Sohbet sitelerigecmisChat siteleriolacak thanks.
Sesli panelgelSesli Chat panellerigor
SeslipanelsendeSesli sohbet panelleribize
Sesli Sohbet sitelerikatilSesli Chat sitelerihadi
Sohbet panelleribeklemeChat panelleriyoksa
panelpismandunya panelolursun
speaky panelamaSpeakypanelis isten
sesli sohbetgecmissesli chatolacak thanks.
diyarbakirgecmisdiyarbakir gazeteleri
Sesli şehir Seslişehir
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatgor
Sesli SohbetgelSesli Chatthanks

DebNavins said...

where are all the new posts? Have not seen anythign since 11/09?