Thursday, August 20, 2009

A very special Thursday note


Good Thursday, people. I'm sure you are all wondering why you are hearing from Fuck You, Penguin today, so let me explain and calm your beating heart. I've been getting some pushback on shameless self-promotion week, with a number of people wondering just how necessary it is since I've basically cornered the market on books about cursing at animals at this point and I'm in perfect position to eventually become the required summer reading in between tenth and eleventh grade at high schools nationwide. So I just wanted to address the concerns. First of all, while some people have expressed mild skepticism, I have also gotten an enormous positive response that has gone largely untold in the cute-focused media. Here is just one randomly selected email out of the literally HUNDREDS I send myself EVERY DAY praising the shameless self-promotion week:

Dear FU, Penguin,

Holy shit! We're loving the shameless self-promotion week over here! If you keep selling this book so well, we are all going to be filthy rich! WE WILL LITERALLY HAVE TO SHIELD OURSELVES FROM ALL THE LOSERS WHO DO NOT HAVE MONEY!!!!!

Love,

Your Corporate Overlords

See? By all accounts, this has been a crushing success. Second, and most important, I hope you all realize that shameless self-promotion week is for you people! It has always been about you people. You see, I just named it shameless self-promotion week in order to avoid patting myself on the back for doing such a selfless thing for you. You are all very welcome, and don't worry about it if you didn't see at first how nice I was being. I didn't see it at first either.

This very special Thursday edition of Fuck You, Penguin has been brought to you without commercial interruptions by FU, Penguin. "FU, Penguin: You've Only Bought One Copy?"

22 comments:

askthecoolcookie said...

Sell, Sell, Sell that book you shameless capitalist! Take no prisoners, take no shit! 100% behind you!

Naka said...

go FU Penguin whoop whoop :)

JoolzGirl said...

Shameless self promotion - its the rules. Its what the week is called for pete's sake. Hey, them's the rules, if you don't follow the rules, it all goes to hell in a handbasket. Go you good thing. I'll be so disappointed if you're not an overnight zillionaire. Oh, and I'd also like to say "RULES" just one more time.

peedee said...

ok, I'm convinced. I'm gonna buy your book now. Good job.

Eva Gallant said...

I don't suppose you'd consider sending me an autographed copy? Today is my 65th birthday.

DrunkBunny said...

People are complaining? What a bunch of whiners! I, for one, appreciated the reminders about the book, for television and pot smoking has reduced my attention span to that of a 2 year old in a room of bright, shiny objects. I pre-ordered my book yesterday and I can't wait! I not only intend on reading it for entertainment purposes, but I hope to pick up new and exciting ways to gripe out my cat, who is not a good cat at all.

grey said...

this doesn't explain why that lowland gorilla is so fat. Doesn't he know he's at increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and gastro-intestinal cancers? He's not going to live long enough to finish reading the book

David said...
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David said...

If it weren't for shameless self-promotion, I'd still be a virgin, so I'm all for it.

Looking forward to the book.

Ulyana said...

Good save! I'll admit, I was one of those people who wanted the usual posts back, but now my eyes have been opened!

hiphophippie.com said...

I'm all for it and have been inspired to follow your lead. I don't have a book so I'm just going around telling people how great I am. It's going swimmingly. Two cheers for shameless self-promotion week!

Annie said...

Dear FU Peguin,

FU FU Peguin! I'm going to be broke from mass purchasing of your book, I'm going to break my ankles tripping over the mountains of copies in my house AND my cat Caramel (FU Caramel btw) will be cuter then ever surrounded by cute animal literature... THEN I'll be broker then ever from not being able to resist giving him extra treats. Thanks for ruining my life.

I hate you,
Banana

PS FU again FU Penguin!

Hedgehogs Running Amok said...

Your awesomeness scares me. Please keep it up! Congratulations.

BTW, my capcha is sellable, is that a sign from the universe or what?

hirakendu said...

;)

Holly said...

The average lowland gorilla penis is 1" long.

That's something to say 'FU' about.

Grubermeister said...

Well said FUP! If people don't stop whining, you should start another site called fuckyouungratefulbastards.com. I'd buy that book too.

HC said...

LOL! Shameless Fucking Self Promotion... Just love it.

Sid said...

Actually this self promotion thing has worked pretty well for you. Going to look for your book right this minute!

Shasta said...

Dood, it's your blog, so you can self-promote the hell out of your book all you want. Haters can suck it.

Entrepreneur Chick said...

Good lord. And I thought I was shameless promoter! Well done!
(Uh, I follow my own damn blog.)

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ibrahim said...
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