Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Light Reading for a Brief Intermission

A review of the book by a penguin. (Scroll down.)

A totally real interview that totally was with two people with yours truly. (Click on the "Features" tab)

An in-depth roundtable with some of my subjects. (Suck it, David Gregory.)

Hopefully all will be back to normal next week. And don't forget to email me your photos.


Alex said...

Damn you to hell! I just bought the book. I couldn't help myself. Between the interview and the book review I was sold.

Heather said...

roundtable is great! :)

frigginloon said...

This isn't another one of your keep us friggin waiting ploys? I don't know FU penguin, you are beginning to show signs of Diva Beaver syndrome! Now hurry up and get over your "technical" difficulties so we can pick on all creatures great and friggin small!!!!

Entrepreneur Chick said...

Most the time, I can figure out what kind of work people are in. (Day jobs.) But you? Hmmm.

I think you're:

(1) A second or third child.
(2) Are not tall but are not short.
(3) Could have a better driving record.
(4) Girlfriends don't understand you as deeply as you'd like.
(5) Nominally like sports but more so when around the guys- except for one that you're almost fanatical about.
(6) Only eat your vegetables if you are a dinner guest.
(7) Hate your car and are planning to get a new one once the book sales pick up.
(8) Respect old people.
(9) Drink your coffee- no. You don't like coffee so much.
(10) Wish you were they guy who invented velcro.
(11) Are an average swimmer.
(12) Wish Sunday afternoons would never end.

I've got it! You're some kind of graphic designer .... guy!

kandylemonmango said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
peedee said...

Post book release depression. Take a damn pill and get over it!

WR said...

I Do Have Better Things TO DO...but I open this blog and I can't remember what else was on the list. Is it mind control? Hmmmm.

And now we are suppose to do this all day on Twitter? The end of the western world as we know it.

Buy. The. Book. and so we can move on....

PurpleHoodieChick said...

Heyy, I have an award for you on my blog! Come check it out!

Mike! said...

I hope you are happy you bastard.
My general Christmas shopping list just got a whole lot easier.
A round of FUP's for all my friends will do just fine, is there a case discount?
Oh, Don't spend it all in one place jerk.

pillow mint said...

if this picture isn't motivation to make a new post, i don't know what would be.
i've seen some cute things in my life, but these two really need a talking to! seriously.

Rob said...


the frequency of your posting went down dramatically as the book release became more known. I think you were hoarding posts because you wanted to be able to release "never before seen blogs" in the book.

But now? You've stopped posting entirely. Freakin, lame. If you can't keep up the pace, you shouldn't have released a book.

Hope the sales are minimal!

Sarah Levenson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah Levenson said...

I said I miss you.

nikki7 said...

You are F-ckin AWESOME!!!!!

estuff said...

This whole keep me waiting thing / non-stop plugging the book is getting old.
Just wanted to say 'goodbye' before I delete this bookmark.

loosegrape said...

*GASP* Oh no!! @estuff is leaving!! Quick, FUP! DO SOMETHING!!!!

{Perfect word verification for the occasion: oveld}

mik said...

I don't care how long it takes, I will wait for those evil critters to get what is coming to them! I will come back every day until another one is put up for verbal assault. You are a genius!

wombat said...

How awful for someone to to publish a book, and earn a little bit of a living, and accomplish something more than living in his mother's basement making rude comments on other people's blogs. What nerve, really.

mandy moorehol said...

semantic blockage.

Kenny Bloggins said...

I rue your success! You are banished from my realm of existence!

Why doesn't anybody want to publish MY blog in book form?! I reprint Rachael Ray recipes and lament my hopeless, creepy love for Ashton Kutcher! I'M A REVOLUTIONARY!


Kris Is Rad said...

I log in and look for a new post, and find that still albeit charming technical difficulties post still up.

Hope all is well, you are sincerely missed in your abundant sarcasm and horrifically cute animal pics!

Oh and interview on Borders...Fucking. Awesome. and Hilarious.

Signed, I love you

TDC said...

I hope that your brain is up and running soon, I will have you know that these posts are something that completes my week, and quite frankly I am a little disappointed. But, good luck with the thinking...

I am going to buy a owl and a few kittens..

gregoryyy said...

F.U.P -what the HELL........?

I neeed to laugh,and soon.So please tell that dog on the T.V. to plug in that cord.If this keeps up I am going to put my Laptop on Craigslist.Maybe tonight.

Maybe, my chilled,laid back avatar does not express my seriousness to you F.U.P so I'm switching it back to the original and it's your fault.Maybe tonght.

Adam said...

Just stumbled upon your blog, and I have to tell you how fan-fucking-tastic this site is. I'll be buying your book ASAP. Keep up the good work!

peedee said...

Soooooooooooon, please!!!

Mike! said...

Matt Groening called and he wants his fucking graphic back! He also said to hurry the fuck up and post a new disturbingly cute animal photo with any accompanying verbal railings you can dream up, please.
Come on. You've had enough time now to write a whole other fucking book for crying out loud, get with the fucking program!

greg sniper said...

Estuff is right, time to delete the bookmark. Good luck with the next book, 'a collection of my favorite plugs for my first book'...

Vicki said...

Young Beaver video (workplace friendly)

Terry said...

Wow, what a bunch of assholes some of you are. Careful with that gigantic sense of entitlement you're carrying around; you'll give yourself a hernia.

How dare the author not be constantly available to amuse you!? It's not like it's a totally free form of entertainment that he creates in his spare time... oh wait, that's exactly what it's like.

Calm down, maybe he just needs a break or maybe something important has happened in his life. Amuse yourselves with THE ENTIRE INTERNET WHICH REMAINS AT YOUR DISPOSAL or something.

Nakia said...

Couldn't have said it better, Terry.

Mike! said...

I'm pretty sure most were posted in fun.
That's what it's all about, fun, right?
To quote Charlie Brown, 'Good Grief'.
Better to have something new to read here if you've bothered to pop in to see if anything's new, right?
The guy's wrote a book poking fun at defenseless (mostly), overtly cute (more often than not) animals and you have to defend them? Know what, you're starting to piss me off the more I think about it and I'm going to have to do something about it, dog gone it.
I'm going to draw myself a picture of a Puffin and then I'm going to throw it down and stomp all over it, wad it up in a crude ball and then I'll... I'll stomp on it some more and then, put it through a shredder! Are you happy? You cost a drawing of an imaginary bird-thing it's imaginary life.
Now what to do with these tiny fake bird-thing bits...

Inquiring Minds - Baltimore, MD said...

I'm putting out an A.P.B. and crack-cocaine fiend silky hen has agreed to lead the search and rescue team...


Please come back soon, resume bringing joy to our stupid, little lives...

The Brothers said...

...going through FUP withdrawal over here. Everything OK?

peedee said...

Right on Terry. FUP, you dont owe anybody anything. I'll be here waiting for your return. Bet loads of others will be too.

Robert said...

Sure, but what about all the cute animals, hah? Are they using this protracted respite to gather their forces and to regroup? Will we wake up to thundering herds of koala cubs in tuxedoes taking over our nation?

I think that this is FU Penguin's America. And in FU Penguin's America, doe-eyed marsupials are afraid to preen for snacks. In FU Penguin's America, poofy-haired wombats don't blink innocently at cameras. Time to rise up, FU Penguin... because today is Independence Day!

The Velvet Milkman said...

The Velvet Milkman misses your brand of adorable nonsense! Come back soon. ♥

Melissa A. Robinson said...

I admire your willingness to do what you please and post when you like and not respond to anyone. Very impressive. You go your own way and that is exactly as it should be for someone who tells cute stuff to fuck off.

But my brain is turning to mush from watching that video of micro mini piglets over and over, so, umm.... just know that you are needed.

Rebecca Wilson said...

Where are you? I miss you. How am I supposed to effectively procrastinate at work without my FU Penguin. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME.

ligschmig said...

Am convinced Matt was attacked by cute bunny. Amy calling in Animal Cops.

DC()9 said...

Ahh! Fine. I bought it. ANOTHER copy of the damn book. Happy?? Now please, PLEASE, start posting again.

TunaRoll said...

i just wanted you to see THIS
in case you hadn't seen it already.
quite... destructive.

bijou living said...

I miss getting freaked out by seeing "Fuck You!" in my Inbox.

Hope you're well.

TheClaire said...

Im past the anger stage. Now I just want you to come back. We miss you telling cute animals what's what!

Gouthe said...

where the fuck did you go?

The book isn't that long dude.

katlau said...

i keep checking........and keep being sadly let down. come back, i don't think my heart can take much more of this.

kate said...

hope everything is okay! thanks for a hilarious blog

Annie said...

Is there a drug for Fuck You Penguin withdrawl? I am past the shakes and sweats, but the hallucinations of cute animals all around me are really starting to freak me out. I need someone to tell them what's what.

Noodley said...

Well said Terry! Wouldn't the ornery whiners feel like giant douche-pouches if, say, someone in FYP's family was critically ill, or passed away...or some such other personal tragedy was happening?

Even if nothing brutal was going on, couldn't he take a well-deserved break? Maybe he is exhausted from all his classic handsomeness. And it's not like anyone is PAYING him to do the blog. It's basically a public service fer chrissake. He could probably register as a charity even!

Yes, yes, we all love and miss the viciously sweet comedy and hideously adorable pictures...
BUT you know what we can do while we wait for new stuff?? Look through the old stuff! Guess fucking what? It's still funny, you big gay babies!

katlau said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deirdre T. Ehlen said...

FU - Kim, Beth and I really miss you. Like others we keep checking the blog in the hopes of seeing a witty entry about a Zonkey or a disparaging comment about some cocky flamingo, but there is nothing. Be well and come back funnier than ever!

mathcutie said...

You're missing a great opportunity with the new Sweet Million campaign from NYS Lottery. Baby animals in pajams!! Ugh, they're killing me!

Jeniel- what's wrong with mommy? said...

I just recently found this blog, and I saw the book at Barnes and Noble yesterday. It was on some random side table, and I almost missed it. So I bought my copy, and then totally rearranged the display all right in the middle of the aisle. I think it looks way better there :)BTW other B&Ns totally have it prominently displayed. Just my crapass one slacking. But I fixed that. Then I ran when security came my way! :p
So, anywho, I love this blog, and I wanted to give you the Best Blog Award. Check it out at

capybara said...

Oh, dear, I hope this blog hasn't died a long, slow, sputtering, flailing death like JustALittleGuy did. I'm not sure how much loss I can bear in my life.

Robert said...

I keep the flame alive! FU PENGUIN FOREVER!

Andrea Adams said...

What the fuck. Your 'personal matter' had better be something epic, like getting all your dentata replaced or going to one of those retreats in Bel Air where you're not allowed to speak for a month, to necessitate this kind of silence. Come on, man. Pretty soon we're all going to freak out and go back to 'Cute Overload.' HTFU!! MOMMY NEEDS HER SNARK!!

Rob said...

I like that he gets on here long enough to delete comments he doesn't particularly like... But can't actually post anything.

lawl said...
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lawl said...

you should make a post about this lil guy when you come back. the axolotl. cutest.

Mike! said...

Puffins are Nothing.
(To the tune of "Money for Nothing")

I want my,
I want my F.U.P.
I want my F.U.P.

Now let me ask you, what the heck's a 'Get-Get'?
Have you seen one on the F.U.P.?
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Puffins are nothing, as you can see.
Now this ain't workin' that's the way he do it
Lemme tell ya this guy ain't dumb
Maybe gets a blister on his little finger
Maybe gets a blister on his thumb
We gotta make fun of cute little animals
Custom kittens, Japanese.
We're gonna give them a good what for
No matter, how cute they may be
(See the little Rabbit with the ears and his tail up?
Yeah buddy they're also called a hair.
That little Rabbit digs a hole on a sunny plain
That little rabbit, you know, he's also called a hair.)
Gotta insult microwave antenna eared
Custom kittens, Japanese.
We gotta stoned out Kangaroo
Gotta move this pile of degu's
I shoulda learned to write me a blog
I shoulda learned to use my thumbs
Look at that aye-aye, he got it stickin' to the camera
Man, he makes me want to run.
And hey up there, what's that?
Hyena noises?
Bangin' on the bongos, it's a chimpanzee!
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
We know that Puffins are nothin' as you can see
We gotta insult miniature rhinos
Custom kittens, Japanese
Look a' here
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You write a blog called F.U.P.
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Puffins are nothing, as you can see
Puffins are nothing, that you can see
Look at that, look at that
Puffins are nothing, as you can see
I want my, I want my, I want my F.U.P.
Puffins are nothing, as you can see (Fade)
I want my, I want my, I want my F.U.P.
I want my, I want my, I want my F.U.P.

Sarah B.S. said...

puffins are real

Pink Love said...

Damn you to hell! I just bought the book. I couldn't help myself. Between the interview and the book review I was handbags