Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sea lions use flippers as an excuse
Not having normal arms and legs is no reason to avoid taking care of yourself, Sea Lion. The water is literally right there, would it have killed you to say to the photographer, "You know what? Hold on one second, I'm just going to wash off this sand that is covering my entire body." I'll tell you one thing, there's no way my dad would have let you in his car in 1989.
If you had just taken the time to make yourself halfway presentable, I wouldn't have such a serious problem with you. But instead, I want to hand wash all of the sand off of you and wrap you in a towel until you warm up. That is not fucking okay, Sea Lion. I have a reputation to uphold. So get your ass together, trim those fucking whiskers, and stop pretending like you're the king of the ocean just because you happen to be named after a lion. IT'S JUST A NAME, SEA LION, YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE. You don't get to avoid pulling yourself up with your own bootstraps just because you wouldn't be able to wear boots.
Posted by bza at 10:46 AM