Friday, October 30, 2009

I doubt Nathan Lane feels threatened


This nudibranch apparently thinks it's the cutest thing on the block just because it's the neon equivalent of a drama kid. Prancing around the ocean like you have a spine doesn't mean you should pose jazz-hands style like you're in a college production of Fame, asshole.

Talk about cheesy. Was this the nudibranch's headshot for auditions? I've got news for you, Nudibranch, no one is looking for an overenthusiastic mollusk to take Broadway by storm. I hope you're good at pouring coffee, because I see a bright future for you in table-waiting.

78 comments:

Jon said...

I seriously thought that this was some kind of porcelain figurine from hell.

Trixie Bedlam said...

and, come on - Nudibranch? obviously a stage name.

Nalamienea said...

or porn name perhaps? Maybe this IS his backup plan!

trulymadlydeeply said...

Sick! You sick, sick person!!
Look at that smile! Look at it!!
Tell me that is not the most innocent, fun-loving creature this side of Atlantis!
How dare you corrupt his youthful attempt at sea swagger and self expression with preposterous assumptions of famewhoredom. Pfffffff

This is more ridiculous than that dinner scene in Birdcage, all of it!

It's All Good said...

i don't believe of his existence

Pizza Girl said...

We all know what you do with those feathers on your back. You're not hiding anything.

Eva Gallant said...

What the hell are you???

askthecoolcookie said...

Somewhere a SpongeBob SquarePants episode is missing a character...

elynaj said...

This is possibly my favorite post ever. This horrible creature almost made me cry.

Aleutie said...

Wow before I saw this picture i didn't know I had a gaydare...

HC said...

Is that thing even real? :-O

Dawn said...

WTF is that? An ink blot with color?

Alicia said...

nudibranch: (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Animals) any marine gastropod of the order Nudibranchia, characterized by a shell-less, often beautifully coloured, body bearing external gills and other appendages Also called sea slug
[from nudi- + branche, from Latin branchia gills]

Loreley said...

Don't hate, Nudibranch be totally pimpin' yo! He got so much swagga, it breaks my heart. All he needs now is a tiny purple cane to keep his bitches in line with.

Maria-Thérèse afiori.com said...

lol @ last comment :D

tcs3600 said...

Typical. Back in school, you were just "Sea slug," now it's "Call me Miss Nudibranch." La di da!

BabyonBored said...

How'd the Nudibranch get hurt in all this? He's just swimming around in jaunty sea cap with feathers, minding his own business, sporting a big old cheesy purple grin and you have to hate on that? Shame on you.

Arlene said...

On a positive note, you could have mentioned the darling hat...but no, you continue your negative ways!

Lori said...

Nudibranch, I question what do you have to smile about? They drank your best friends in a Smoothie last week on Survivor.

yellaalley95 said...

That's a mollusk?! I thought it was a mushroom or something...

frigginloon said...

They are great on a cracker with a smidgen of brie if you can catch the little fuckers!

Jill said...

I think it looks like a scallop in an Easter bonnet.

hiphophippie.com said...

Ahh, I think there was LSD in my sandwhich.

WR said...

A sea slug that works as a waiter and leaves sea slime on the coffee cup...pretty damned disgusting.

Now listen up people - no. one. hires. the. Nudibranch. (no matter how brightly colored it is!) And where is his damned shell? No doubt, in the coffee.....

nikki7 said...

Do you realize the DEPTH of your awesomeness???!!! I truly love you.

Mike! said...

E-freakin'-gad, Pokemon are real!
Who the fuck knew?

sharazad said...

Don't they serve these at Red Lobster?

Oe4V2OkO0vsLNRAxmk4k38ehA20DKtj42mlj said...

That's a weird lookin' animal.
Looks like a gay version of Stitch (from Lilo & Stitch)

dancewithrobots said...

For more of these fabulous nudibranchs go to http://bouphonia.blogspot.com/search/label/nudibranchs.

Every Friday the author publishes a new photo.

bonnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bonnie said...

Mike's right. That has totally got to be a Pokemon that escaped from it's videogame & is trying to pull one over on everybody by pretending it is a real animal.

Somebody find the Pokeball, quick.

bonnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rico said...

Okay, I'm confused . . . all I see is a pumpkin wearing a hat with feathers on that is reading from a script.(?) Some kind of homage to Halloween?

My eyes hurt from trying to find its focal point. Ah, fuck it - I hate it for existing regardless of being able to articulate exactly why.

On a side note, I found my verification word very amusing -

coedd

Hmmm . . . I like the "double D" + "co-ed" angle.

Portuguese cunt said...

I knew you were going to say Jazz Hands. I just KNEW IT!!

kanishk said...

Tell me that is not the most innocent, fun-loving creature this side of Atlantis! Work From Home

Dances With Cupcakes said...

SeaSlug SquareSmile

j.l.rameior said...

Matt, are you OK? Haven't seena new post since Friday 10/30. NEED MORE!

Best Regards, JLR

The Velvet Milkman said...

As Peter Sarstedt sang, "Where do you go to, my lovely?"

mrwriteon said...

I think it's adorable.

Melissa A. Robinson said...

Sometimes I come here and there is nothing new posted and I wanted to let you know that even when I have read your posts before, even when I know the most recent titles... I still snort out loud when the headline pops up. ALWAYS. All of the headlines. You crack me up.

I doubt Nathan Lane feels threatened

Isonomist said...

The nudibranch is forcing me to question my sanity. How can I feel maternal toward a worm? It's wrong! Wrong!!

Maddie said...

My favorite creature of all time finally made it to FUP. Greatest post ever.

Shauna (Fido and Wino) said...

Just came across your blog- hilARIOUS.

HA!

catherine said...

looks like a freekin' pokemon...what is his special power?? Cuteness? And how can some kind of wierd sea creature be cute?!?

Heather said...

Holy Shit...I just spent a ridiculous amount of time laughing to TEARS in the middle of Barnes & Noble. Funniest stuff I've read, seen, heard in a looong time. You are my new hero, man. Prairie Dogs...

Alex said...

What is an ocean creature whose bright colors and shell-less form has yet to earn a PBS Sunday Morning Cartoon?

Sam said...

you even post cute nudibranches! i think i love you, you mean bastard!

off2fish said...

That is the best nudibranch pic I have ever seen. No really, I used to study them, it's awesome.

nltisme said...

A Tonka Tooth Toy?

El Caganer said...

Cool mollusk. Can you eat it?

hirakendu said...

;)

Yaya said...

i'm in love with a mollusk.

feathermar said...

If only its giant mouth curved down.

Teh Notebook Ghurl said...

...Do you really hate animals? Or just like making fun of them?

spanky* said...

that thing is creepy as fuck. i feel like i shuold spread it on toast, but i don't wanna get anywhere near it. eek!

Jacob said...

That animal is f'd up. It looks like God dropped acid before he created it.

Alissa said...

http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2717730048
Derp

Randy said...

What does it think it is? A fuckin pokemon? Nudibranch? Really?

Lynnsey said...

Oh that's awesome, you used my suggestion! Isn't he the cutest damn thing you've ever seen? Fuck.

Bearsharrrk said...

I sigh long wistful sighs in bitter sadness that the bearshark was never covered. Alas, this hipster literary prowess lives to swim/traipse another day.

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Leon said...

I think this adorable little creature has a big future ... with some wasabi, a little pickled ginger, a touch of soy sauce ... om, nom, nom.

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