Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Is there anything more defeating than cute bats?


Baby Bat, you are destroying my ability to successfully categorize safe animals and animals that want me to drop whatever I am doing and make sure they are comfortable and happy. You are supposed to be trying to suck my blood or finding your way out of a cave using radio waves or Google maps or whatever. Instead you are like a big-eyed baby deer crossed with a webbed monkey sucking on a pacifier. You're really little, too, aren't you? There's nothing in this picture that I can compare you to, but I get the sense you're something disgusting like a pound and a half. I bet you would fit in my hand and then look up at me and I wouldn't even be able to check to make sure you aren't going to turn into a vampire. Fucking bats. At least they aren't thriving, I mean, who would raise bats in large groups?

Oh shit.
Why do I even bother?

72 comments:

Entrepreneur Chick said...

I knew the link on "oh shit" was going to be good, but I didn't know it was going to be THAT good! Hahahaha.

How does one get into raising bats? Is there a market for that, Entrepreneur Chick wonders...?

Eva Gallant said...

I finally broke down and ordere the book from Anazon. Can't wait for it to arrive!

There's still nothing cute about those bats!

Chrissy said...

Oh.My. Normally I'd say a big fat yuck to bats, but those? Are cute.

Erica said...

Trick or TRICK you stinkin' bats!

A. Kubin said...

I'm so happy your back! I'm also happy to have this warning about bats before I go out trick-or-treating this Saturday. Bats, I'm ready for you!

HC said...

Haha oh shit, are you ok?

jmuhj said...

I don't have to show you no stinkin' bats. ;)

Melanie's Randomness said...

oh geez. I hate when animals who could possibily really hurt me or suck my blood are ridicolously cute. lol.

Glory von Hathor said...

I love megabats. The Yorkshire Terriers of the sky.

askthecoolcookie said...

Bats are truly one of God's great mysteries. They are at once poignant reminders of the veritable variety of things that can jumbled up into one creature, and at the same time, terriffic vectors for rabies and all manner of other terrible things. Still They really don't bother us unless we bother them, and when they do there is Hell to pay for everyone.

martigny said...

I am daid from the cute.

Rico said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rico said...

Baby Bat, you look like Bambi's head was cut and pasted on pure evil. And what's with those big fucking eyes? You're giving the saying "Blind as a Bat" a bad name.

Rico said...

Oh, and I have no doubts you'll just grow up to be one of these:

http://data-allocine.blogomaniac.fr/mdata/7/3/1/Z20060520184332677502137/img/1229439279_dark-crystal-skeksis2.jpg

Lousy skeksis . . .

Lori said...

Oh.that.bat. Coochy-coochy-coo! Those.bats.in.blankets.

Sigh. Life was easier while you were "in captivity."

Ruby said...

You bother because you have been appointed to warn the rest of us. Those bats in blankets are hard to resist though...damn blanket bats...

MikFoss said...

Yes, so glad to have you back!

peedee said...

He's back!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Daisy said...

Oh shit indeed. That damn one in the middle melted my brain, dammit.

Jane Q Doe said...

NEW. FAVORITE. BLOG.

BattyHugh said...

As the lady said MEGABATS

don't suck blood
eat flowers and fruit
better night vision than we have
our relatives - lemurs with wings (take that Am Mus Nat Hist!!)
No sonar, radar or RFID's

If you want to raise them - come to Orstralia.

Oh and where's the other pic (of the girl with the bat bubs?)

frigginloon said...

That's a friggin blow up bat, I got one of those for my pool last year!

sharazad said...

I hate the way tiny mammals make me want to rush over to Macy's and blow a bunch of money on onesies and layettes.

Damn instincts...

SJO said...

I need a dozen, stat!

Jennifer said...

bat schmat: please tell me the penguin who kidnapped you is going to get the chair! Glad you made it out alive.

Becky said...

I have no words for this one. And the link took it that extra bit over the top.

Wow.

Just wow.

LT said...

i love this blog!!!! damn bats, they are adorable!!!

Mike! said...

E-fucking-gad. It's little Wednesday, all grown up. I mean, Who the fuck ever even heard of raising fucking bats? Like,EC said, there's a market for bats? How does one even think up such an operation? Where do you even start? "Mom, Dad, I know what I want to do when I get out of school. I'm gonna raise bats. Here, see?" That's when Mom fainted and Dad had his stroke.
And I have to wonder what happens when that 'special guy' gets to come in for the first time. "...This is the kitchen, oh, and here are my bats." Yeah, that's the place I want to spend the night. If you're gonna have bats hanging around the house, you'd better look like Elvira! Know what I mean?

Jacque said...

bat in a snuggie.

WR said...

okay that is all very interesting, funny, and damn it...cute ~ but...who weans them from a bottle to mosquitoes?

Miss said...

A bevy of bundled baby bats?!
So wrong. So very wrong.

Glory von Hathor said...

The baby bats are orphans. They only wrap them up to give them their formula. On youtube you can see lots of mind-screwingly cute footage of fruit bat rescue centres. And bizarrely a man getting frenched by a fruit bat - not on purpose though.

Lots of people think the bat-rescuers are mad, because it's like rescuing squirrels or kangaroos - they're essentially vermin. But they're such ace animals, and people are sort of verminous.

hiphophippie.com said...

That little shit head was sucking the boob of a blow up doll and it got stuck in his mouth. I'm on to you and your porno ways baby bat.

dean10003 said...

finally back in form after time off and a few sobbly posts! cute little living stuff stinks!

Elizabeth said...

Genius!

Jane said...

Welcome back! Hope that little shit penguin hijacker got his.

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Haha, you alright? At least you got a great post out of it.
plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/

smbelcas said...

"At least they aren't thriving..."
True enough: White Nose Syndrome is driving several eastern U.S. bat species to near extinction. Google will get you as much info on this mystery as your heart desires.

thunk said...

Just got my copy of the Hardbound-UK version of FUP.
I'm scared to start reading it because then I won't stop till I finish it!!
What am I going to do!!!!!!!

Matthew H Camp said...

Mom, I found this little deer in the woods. Can I keep him?

AAHHHHHHH!!! Oh my god! It's got the body of a chicken!?!

paul said...

Here's the bat with super powers!

HERE

ruthy said...

Oh sweet Jesus. From left to right: Wrong, Wrong, Wrongedy, Wrong, Wrong. And the smiling lady: Wrongest.

Matt said...

I've always wanted a bat since I was a kid (there was a boy scout related magazine that had an article on a kid that was raising bats).

rocketsci958 said...

Fruit bats are absolutely beautiful. Flying foxes. I read Stellaluna to the kids when they were old enough to appreciate it and we all fell in love with the critters. But those fugly sonar-echolocation-weird-nosed-big-eared bat versions are different beasts entirely. Creeepeeee. Pretty neat from an evolutionary viewpoint though, I have to admit.

kanishk said...

I love megabats. The Yorkshire Terriers of the sky. Work From Home

girl6 said...

Those blanket bats are lying-ass lying liars. They're all cute and shit. Well, they're all cute and shit.

Red Lipstick Style said...

I love him ;-)

nltisme said...

"Oh shit" link doth rule....and these are deeply confusing lil' boogers....I am just all headachy now!

afexion8 said...

uhhhhh....whoa!
I'm feeling quite disoriented.
How can one quick link make me re-think any relationship I have ever had with a cute animal OR a blood-sucking parasite?

Organic Meatbag said...

Yeah, cute now, but he is practically oozing rabies...he climaxes rabies....ewwwww...

batworld said...

http://www.myspace.com/bootsanathebat

batworld said...

And here she is again :)
http://www.batworld.org/adopt_a_bat/bootsana.html

El Caganer said...

I pooped on a bat once.

hirakendu said...

;)

timurtashoca said...

Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Güvercin
Miro Güvercin
Taklacı Güvercin
Adana Güvercin
Şebab Güvercin
mülakat Güvercin
Bango Güvercin
Baska Güvercin
Hünkari Güvercin
Posta Güvercin
Filo Güvercin
Makaracı Güvercin
Dolapcı Güvercin
Oynar Güvercin
Kelebek Güvercin
Trakya Güvercin
Kostüm Güvercin
Güvercin Forum
Timurtasş Hoca
Koxp 1299
1299 koxp

shannanigans said...

bats are so cool. and to raise bats you can purchase a starter colony from a zoo. as long as you have all the proper paperwork/permits/housing.

cool bat facts

1. no bats are blind, thats a total myth
2. bats are very clean animals, despite what you hear the chances of getting rabies from a bat is like 1 in 400,000 or something crazy like that.
3. vampire bats can walk!
4. yesterday i pet a bat!

Norbert said...

Oh my lord. These are the cutest things ever!

jenn said...

big eyes do not equal 'cute'. i see those creepy bat wings. ha

Mammoth said...

"These too, are food"

Patrick said...

Baby flying fox. Up to six foot wingspan when all grown up. Can send him this way

Who Romps? said...

thats bad for that bat, air in the stomach means bat burps, and THAT is nothing no one wants.

Russell said...

I actually found this blog while researching a way to buy and breed giant fruit bats. I am going to breed alot but have atleast two in my home....I will hold and squeeze them and pet them and pat them, and hug them and kiss them and call them George. By the way... this is the best thing online since I found porn in my teens. I love this blog, Fuckin' penguins

Tracy said...

I raised a baby bay once...disgustingly cute little brown mouse batty, I never did get over it...

combattery84 said...

Laptop Battery
acer Laptop Battery
apple Laptop Battery
asus Laptop Battery
compaq Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
fujitsu Laptop Battery
gateway Laptop Battery
hp Laptop Battery
ibm Laptop Battery
sony Laptop Battery
toshiba Laptop Battery
APPLE A1079 battery
APPLE A1175 battery
APPLE a1185 battery
APPLE A1189 battery
Acer aspire 5920 battery
Acer btp-arj1 battery
Acer LC.BTP01.013 battery
Acer ASPIRE 1300 battery
Acer ASPIRE 1310 battery
Acer Aspire 1410 battery
Acer ASPIRE 1680 battery
ACER BTP-63D1 battery
ACER BTP-43D1 battery
Acer lc.btp05.001 battery
Acer aspire 3000 battery
Acer Travelmate 4000 battery
ACER aspire 5560 battery

combattery84 said...

ACER Laptop Battery
APPLE Laptop Battery
ASUS Laptop Battery
COMPAQ Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
GATEWAY Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
SAMSUNG Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
Battery
Laptop Battery
Camcorder Battery
Digital Camera Battery
Mobile Phone Battery
PDA Battery
acer laptop battery
asus laptop battery
apple laptop battery
dell laptop battery
fujitsu laptop battery
hp laptop battery
ibm laptop battery
sony laptop battery
toshiba laptop battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
PANASONIC Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
NOKIA Mobile Phone Battery

combattery84 said...

ACER Laptop Battery
APPLE Laptop Battery
ASUS Laptop Battery
COMPAQ Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
GATEWAY Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
SAMSUNG Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
Battery
Laptop Battery
Camcorder Battery
Digital Camera Battery
Mobile Phone Battery
PDA Battery
acer laptop battery
asus laptop battery
apple laptop battery
dell laptop battery
fujitsu laptop battery
hp laptop battery
ibm laptop battery
sony laptop battery
toshiba laptop battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
PANASONIC Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
NOKIA Mobile Phone Battery

combattery84 said...

CASIO Digital Camera Battery
FUJIFILM Digital Camera Battery
JVC Digital Camera Battery
NIKON Digital Camera Battery
SANYO Digital Camera Battery
SHARP Digital Camera Battery
SONY Digital Camera Battery
PANASONIC Digital Camera Battery
OLYMPUS Digital Camera Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
acer laptop battery
apple Laptop Battery
toshiba laptop battery
hp latptop battery
dell laptop battery
sony laptop battery
asus laptop battery
compaq laptop battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
Laptop Battery
ACER Laptop Battery
ASUS Laptop Battery
COMPAQ Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
Acer btp-arj1 battery
laptop battery

combattery84 said...

Laptop Battery
ACER Laptop Battery
APPLE Laptop Battery
DELL Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
LENOVO Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
HITACHI Camcorder Battery
PANASONIC Camcorder Battery
SAMSUNG Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
TOSHIBA Camcorder Battery
HITACHI Camera Battery
JVC Camera Battery
EPSON Camera Battery
NIKON Camera Battery
PANASONIC Camera Battery
SAMSUNG Camera Battery
SHARP Camera Battery
SONY Camera Battery
laptop battery
laptop battery
Power tools battery
Camcorder Battery
Digital Camera Battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
PANANSONIC Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
CANON Digital Camera Battery

Pink Love said...

5 Nike Dunks
Nike Dunk High
Nike Dunk Low
SB Nike dunk

Nike Dunk High Premium

6 Abercrombie and fitch
cheap hollister
Abercrombie & fitch
7 Abercrombie & Fitch

Cheap Abercrombie

ruehl no.925

Abercrombie and Fitch Hoodies

Abercrombie and Fitch bikini


8 ED Hardy


ED Hardy swimwear

ED Hardy bikinis

ED Hardy shoes

ED Hardy Sunglasses

SeekerFreaKC said...

LMAO!

Uh oh...Cute OVERLOAD! Someone, anyone...HEEELLLLP!!!

BTW, your commentary is as funny as...well, as a twig-chewing monkey's multi-colored a$$!

Hem said...

فاتورة التليفون
يمكنك معرفة فاتورة التليفون المصرية الان بكل سهولة والاستعلام عن فاتورة التليفون فى أى وقت , لا ترتبط معرفة فاتورة التليفون من خلال موقعنا بوقت معين فـ فاتورة التليفون المصرية تظهر فى اسرع وقت ودون عناء , المصرية للاتصالات وفرت لكل عملائها تلك الخدمة ,حيث يمكنك معرفة فواتير التليفون من خلال الانترنت بكل سهولة وبأسرع وقت
http://www.egypt-panorama.com/telephone-Bill.html فاتورة التليفون

laptop batteries inc said...

apple A1245 batterie
Apple 8403 batterie
Apple A1008 batterie
Apple A1012 batterie
APPLE A1022 batterie
APPLE A1039 batterie
APPLE A1045 batterie
APPLE A1057 batterie
Apple A1061 batterie
APPLE A1078 batterie
APPLE A1079 batterie
APPLE A1148 batterie
Apple A1175 batterie
Apple A1185 batterie
Apple A1189 batterie
apple A1280 batterie
apple A1281 batterie
Apple M8244 batterie
Apple M8403 batterie
Apple M8416G/A batterie
APPLE M9324 batterie
Apple MA458 batterie
Apple MA561 batterie