Friday, October 23, 2009

Penguin Donates Millions to Charity!


I thought everyone else would be as interested in this story as I was. Who knew penguins were so selfless?
(AP)

Penguinville, ANTARCTICA - Moments after emerging from his father's fat fold, a baby emperor penguin donated his entire inheritance to human-focused charities. While the money went to a number of different non-profit organizations, the bulk of the money was donated to PETAP (Penguins for the Ethical Treatment of Actual People). "This is a great day for human/penguin relations," said a real person, who was using their fingers to do something complex as they spoke, "we've always known penguins were totally great and didn't at all deserve the negative press they've been getting recently. But it's nice to have it confirmed."

When reached for comment, the baby penguin had only nice things to say about humans. "I think people understand that we can only do so much to avoid being cute in certain circumstances. This is simply just the way we were born. The fact that so many people are thoughtful about our circumstances and try their best to look the other way means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to my fellow penguins. This is just my way of saying thank you."

This is really a different way of thinking about penguins isn't it? That charity is great, because it is specifically targeted to actual humans like you and me! Now I am going to go put some pants on (one leg at a timing, right guys?!) and put more thought into all this new light that's been shed on the penguin.

47 comments:

CT Lightning said...

this blog should be renamed lies and the dirty adorable penguins that tell them

iangoole said...

And when you've thought....you're gonna fuck the penguin, right?

Ben said...

lies, damned lies, and statistics from penguins

John said...

STOP IT! You penguin propaganda poster! I seriously doubt the ability of this infant penguin to acquire assets!
And release the human; I can't sift through this world of cute dangers without him...... did you know I almost pet a squirrel yesterday? A SQUIRREL! Only once I got within striking distance did I notice the shifty eyes and mischievous claws - I was lucky to escape with my life!

frigginloon said...

FU Happy Feet, global warming is gonna melt you right off the planet. Then lets see who will be wanting to live in my friggin fridge?

MikFoss said...

Your only making this worse on yourself penguin, give it up now and those seals knocking at your door might make it quick for you.

uporo said...

LIES! LIES!

yellaalley95 said...

LIES!!! All LIES!!! Give us back our human!!!

Chitownmez said...

This shtick is getting old. Sorry. I love the blog, but really?

Elizabeth said...

I have to agree with Chitownmez. It seems like it's gone south (past Antarctica) since your book signing. I'm just sayin.'

Tai said...

BRING BACK OUR HUMAN! Sick 'em, baby leopard seal! Sick 'em!

liquid paper said...

::cripwalks to the exit::

Ali said...

I agree! Penguins are great! So says me, an actual person! Now if you will excuse me, I have to go and do complex things with my fingers!

Rico said...

Damn yous; damn yous all to hell! Crushing the wave of Immortal Sharks with a wall of ice was very clever of you, you Pengo-terrorist. I heard the bone-chilling recording of one of you shrieking "THIS . . . IS . . . ANTARCTICA!!!"

But don't try to weaken our resolve with your fake stories and lies - I feel like I'm reading the tabloids.

I checked out http://www.petap.com/ and it clearly shows it's the company you used to help make your underground hostage storage bunker (aka UHSB), and has nothing to do with so-called "Penguanitarianism"

Elizabeth said...

you're such a freak. I love you.

WR said...

PC Penguin strikes again. Not to be trusted! Run while there is still time.

coolingstar9 said...

Penguin can change from good to better, who say "mo "? He tell us about donation matters, it shows that penguin want to do the good job. But because hunan beings are quite stuborn, so penguin needs to entertain them and become the actor just like look show " for laugh only "
It free our mind from our stressful life. In this respect, let us salute this unique penguin.

nltisme said...

How do I get MY share of the funds? NOW......

theantinerd said...

Fuck I hate penguins, I hate this blog less than I hate penguins though so linked. I'll learn to love it eventually.

No, I lied, it's awesome. I peed a little.

patrick said...

it's like you keep saying "talk to the hand" to animals! Genius! to keep saying it over and over, idiocracy. Quit dulling our planet, this is boring, your boring.

turbonephew said...

PETAP is a shadow organization funneling all it's money into monkeywrenching the arctic fishing trade and stopping global warming.

Don't believe their lies.

turbonephew said...

punt a penguin bitch.
this isn't
i <3 pengins
fuck those goddamned critters in the mother fucking ear.

johnchiti said...

Why do you have to use such degrading comments, and remarks full of negative language?
Stories are great, you language sucks.

Allen said...

....................../´¯/)
...................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'.../
.........."...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
.............\.............\....
You just think your hot shit dont'cha?

green.1148 said...

good stuff

DebNavins said...

where are the current posts? I miss FUP!

daiyanren said...

There are cheap shoes to choose
jordan 6
jordan 7
Good quality with low price.
air jordan 2010
Air Jordan 2009
You can have a look at it.
jordan shoes
jordan ajf shoes
We offer different styles.
jordan 1
jordan 2
If you like,you can contact us.
jordan 3
jordan 4
Thanks.
jordan 5
jumpman23

Ashton said...

Fuckin penguins

Brad said...

your humor is substandard at best.

ANCK said...

Best blog ever!

combattery84 said...

Laptop Battery
acer Laptop Battery
apple Laptop Battery
asus Laptop Battery
compaq Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
fujitsu Laptop Battery
gateway Laptop Battery
hp Laptop Battery
ibm Laptop Battery
sony Laptop Battery
toshiba Laptop Battery
APPLE A1079 battery
APPLE A1175 battery
APPLE a1185 battery
APPLE A1189 battery
Acer aspire 5920 battery
Acer btp-arj1 battery
Acer LC.BTP01.013 battery
Acer ASPIRE 1300 battery
Acer ASPIRE 1310 battery
Acer Aspire 1410 battery
Acer ASPIRE 1680 battery
ACER BTP-63D1 battery
ACER BTP-43D1 battery
Acer lc.btp05.001 battery
Acer aspire 3000 battery
Acer Travelmate 4000 battery
ACER aspire 5560 battery

combattery84 said...

ACER Laptop Battery
APPLE Laptop Battery
ASUS Laptop Battery
COMPAQ Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
GATEWAY Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
SAMSUNG Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
Battery
Laptop Battery
Camcorder Battery
Digital Camera Battery
Mobile Phone Battery
PDA Battery
acer laptop battery
asus laptop battery
apple laptop battery
dell laptop battery
fujitsu laptop battery
hp laptop battery
ibm laptop battery
sony laptop battery
toshiba laptop battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
PANASONIC Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
NOKIA Mobile Phone Battery

combattery84 said...

ACER Laptop Battery
APPLE Laptop Battery
ASUS Laptop Battery
COMPAQ Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
GATEWAY Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
SAMSUNG Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
Battery
Laptop Battery
Camcorder Battery
Digital Camera Battery
Mobile Phone Battery
PDA Battery
acer laptop battery
asus laptop battery
apple laptop battery
dell laptop battery
fujitsu laptop battery
hp laptop battery
ibm laptop battery
sony laptop battery
toshiba laptop battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
PANASONIC Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
NOKIA Mobile Phone Battery

combattery84 said...

CASIO Digital Camera Battery
FUJIFILM Digital Camera Battery
JVC Digital Camera Battery
NIKON Digital Camera Battery
SANYO Digital Camera Battery
SHARP Digital Camera Battery
SONY Digital Camera Battery
PANASONIC Digital Camera Battery
OLYMPUS Digital Camera Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
acer laptop battery
apple Laptop Battery
toshiba laptop battery
hp latptop battery
dell laptop battery
sony laptop battery
asus laptop battery
compaq laptop battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
Laptop Battery
ACER Laptop Battery
ASUS Laptop Battery
COMPAQ Laptop Battery
Dell Laptop Battery
FUJITSU Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
Acer btp-arj1 battery
laptop battery

combattery84 said...

Laptop Battery
ACER Laptop Battery
APPLE Laptop Battery
DELL Laptop Battery
HP Laptop Battery
LG Laptop Battery
LENOVO Laptop Battery
IBM Laptop Battery
SONY Laptop Battery
TOSHIBA Laptop Battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
HITACHI Camcorder Battery
PANASONIC Camcorder Battery
SAMSUNG Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
TOSHIBA Camcorder Battery
HITACHI Camera Battery
JVC Camera Battery
EPSON Camera Battery
NIKON Camera Battery
PANASONIC Camera Battery
SAMSUNG Camera Battery
SHARP Camera Battery
SONY Camera Battery
laptop battery
laptop battery
Power tools battery
Camcorder Battery
Digital Camera Battery
CANON Camcorder Battery
JVC Camcorder Battery
PANANSONIC Camcorder Battery
SONY Camcorder Battery
SHARP Camcorder Battery
CANON Digital Camera Battery

Pink Love said...

5 Nike Dunks
Nike Dunk High
Nike Dunk Low
SB Nike dunk

Nike Dunk High Premium

6 Abercrombie and fitch
cheap hollister
Abercrombie & fitch
7 Abercrombie & Fitch

Cheap Abercrombie

ruehl no.925

Abercrombie and Fitch Hoodies

Abercrombie and Fitch bikini


8 ED Hardy


ED Hardy swimwear

ED Hardy bikinis

ED Hardy shoes

ED Hardy Sunglasses

laptop batteries inc said...

apple A1245 batterie
Apple 8403 batterie
Apple A1008 batterie
Apple A1012 batterie
APPLE A1022 batterie
APPLE A1039 batterie
APPLE A1045 batterie
APPLE A1057 batterie
Apple A1061 batterie
APPLE A1078 batterie
APPLE A1079 batterie
APPLE A1148 batterie
Apple A1175 batterie
Apple A1185 batterie
Apple A1189 batterie
apple A1280 batterie
apple A1281 batterie
Apple M8244 batterie
Apple M8403 batterie
Apple M8416G/A batterie
APPLE M9324 batterie
Apple MA458 batterie
Apple MA561 batterie

Art Break said...

i Love YOU Buhahaha

Art Break said...

I love you!!! i got a good laugh :3

Elena said...

interesting post
=====================
web design

Naush said...

fuck fuck fuck

i just got rid of my anger thanks :)

Aadhunik said...

In a wee recipe breathes "Penguin Donates Millions to Charity!". The symphony flowers around the chalk. The art shows "Penguin Donates Millions to Charity!". The detective formula compresses "Penguin Donates Millions to Charity!" within another molecular birthday. A surface lusts around the associate.


mail in order bride

http://www.russianbrideladies.com

Bob Merkin said...

I've fucking had it with penguins and their lackeys in Congress! There's a reason they're all rolling in dough.

Bob Merkin said...

I've had it with these fucking penguins and their lackeys in Congress. There's a reason they're all rolling in dough...

Aamer said...

I thinks the daily walk or running is the best and better option for you to reduce your extra body fats easily,.Swimming is also best choice for that,.
Boot camp

cupid dating said...

A poison orbits a reasoning alarm outside a wisdom. The bible rules. The pedestrian presents the exchanged orbit. The danger offends A Guest Post From Carol Shea Porter (D-NH) . Why can't a delight buck under a complaint? An ocean suffers!

matchdoctor

ukrainian women said...

The dinner steels the hasty layer. Mailorder brides reverts inside the belt. Why can't the ahead earth cheat in mailorder brides? The method trades the cool phoenix across an algebra.


russianbrides