Friday, November 20, 2009

Don't even think about trying to sneak by me

I've tried to get around to as many species as possible on this blog, but it's really hard to keep up with all the smart-ass explorers that go into places like volcanos and obscure unexplored mountains and discover, like, seven thousand new species in a day. So to stem the tide, I've put together a post that covers a lot of the really dangerous new species that these Darwin-dick riders have shoved in our faces, just to get them out of the way and move onto the serious problem areas.


Hey buddy, nice head. What, were all the proportional heads taken? I did a little math, and even if I lost one leg, I'd still have 100% more legs than you. So suck on that.


The olive sunbird, huh? Fuck you.


Hey, loser: YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING CRATER. Get a job, free loader.


You think just because you're iridescent, you can get away with being a beetle. You know what else is iridescent? THIS FUCKING SHARK.

Yes, I realize it's a catfish. What the fuck do you know about fish, you're just a stupid beetle. Shut up, asshole.


What's so fucking surprising, shithead? Like you weren't just sitting around waiting to be discovered by humans. DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT CIVILIZATION. I bet your stupid reality show is only going to last until mid-season, anyway, so don't make any big purchases.


Yeah. Do you even need me to say anything? I didn't think so.


I bet you think you fucking invented that pose. Well guess what, fucktard: BIRDS HAVE BEEN USING THAT POSE FOR YEARS. You don't look contemplative, you just look like a Mexican flag with wings. And by the way, "Fruit Dove"? Gayest. Name. Ever.


You know I hate combo animals, Leopard Gecko. Get a more original name, like maybe Uneven Tail Gecko. Did your tail swallow a candy corn? I don't give a shit about your freaky eyes, you're still all elbows and suckage.


Wait a second, this frog and has fangs? And it fucking EATS BIRDS?! Um, we're cool. I think I'm done here. Yeah.

300 comments:

1 – 200 of 300   Newer›   Newest»
John said...

That Leopard Gecko reminds me of Mr. Burns. It can stay. Everything else needs to crawl back into the jungle or crater or whatever and not subject humanity to so much newly discovered animal cuteness.

Ben said...

I bet they think they discovered us. How I hate them.

foxy said...

That one is giving us his best "o" face... that sick bastard!

M.J. said...

OMG--the leopard gecko DOES look like Mr. Burns!

Jill said...

I'll "third" the Mr Burns suggestion. They are equally disturbing, especially when nude. Maybe this thing would be slightly less offensive in a suit.

Organic Meatbag said...

All of those animals? Each and every one of them? In my pants at this very moment...

Rico said...

FUP, thank-you for thwarting an obvious plot to "gang cute" the world in about 500 years. I have a few comments for your prisoners:

The Snake - Obviously a plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. That's what you get for having it done in the 3rd world fucko!

Olive Sunbird - How is being a star in adult Olive Sunbird films going? Oh, and I found a picture of your cousin:
http://www.theautolog.com/uploads/sunchicken/7508/1980-Pontiac-Sunbird-9253.JPG

Wooly Rat - Get your own look, you fucking look like Beauregard from the Muppets:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PuZoLkvmBbc/SW12_FPkvFI/AAAAAAAACGE/gbaN0tXL5-E/s320/Beauregard.png

Iridescent Beetle - Whoopty. Fucking. Do. I can get a pack of 10 of you at the Dollar Store any time I want.

Black/White Reality Show Thing - Is that "Blue Steel" or "Magnum" you're throwing at me. Either way-Fuck You.

Bat Thing - Quit fuckin' looking at me. No. Seriously, stop that!

Fruit Dove - Hey, there's a frog I want you to meet.

Leopard Gecko - You remind me of someone who chose a 3-piece suit and fucking bright red gum boots or something. Learn some basic fashion rules from TV and don't give me any shit about only having 2 channels where you live.

Fangy Frog - Yeah, yeah, everyone love Twilight (if you're 14). Whatever. Hey, there's a bird I want you to meet.

I hope all these creatures meet with an ironic death, like being thrown in a furnace.

hiphophippie.com said...

Is this a gang of fuglies or something? What are they, the new West Side Story of I-wanna-puke-on-my-face? (rhythmically snapping fingers) "Get cool, I'm a fat ass snake, get cool, I'm a gecko with my legs on backward, get cool."

Eva Gallant said...

For sure that snake hasn't been living in the jungle all this time--look at the gut on him...tell ME he hasn't ever been to McDonald's!

Cyndee said...

A sad commentary- when this, my Birthday, is filled with the most recent National Geographic open casting call losers.
Aim for the stars, assholes.
Fuck all of you.. Double for those who are remotely cute.

Mar said...

ohhh shit...you brought Mr. Burns into this...we just need a Smithers-esque animal now. Any day now a douche-canoe scientist will discover one, no doubt.

ashuduanna said...

Darwin-dick riders? Is that some sort of gay slur?

Jon said...

You're assuming that everyone who rides Darwin's dick is a dude. I'm sure there are plenty of female dick riders out there.

Aleutie said...

Oh c'mon what is this fugly festival? Open call for your assistant position? I know, I know look who's talkng....still I am not that bad!

TFP said...

Whaaaat? No way that's a Leopard Gecko, I've seen and held them and they don't look nearly that scary. Or skinny.

Heather Cherry said...

One of my favorite posts in a long time (AND I LOVE THEM ALL so that's saying something!)... cheers!

Mike! said...

Remember a show called "Night Gallery"? You know, the show with the weird ass paintings and Mr. Twilight Zone, Rod Serling? These jack-off's all look like they came from there. Creepy is not the new cute, so quit trying to push that agenda and go back to Creepillevainia or wherever the fuck you came from. Assholes.

sharazad said...

The Leopard Gecko is really, really scary. Even scarier than the Olive Sunbird...and he's like the Suge Knight of bird-kind.

Chakolate said...

Not to pick nits or anything... Oh, who am I kidding, I love to pick nits.

Anyway, if you were to lose two legs you'd still have 100% more legs than that snake. 200% of nothing is nothing.

frigginloon said...

What a fucked up bunch of critters. And as for that friggin bird eating frog, you only got two friggin teeth you amphibian freak! I hope some seagull eats your sorry ass!

Lee said...

You should at least credit that super awesome sneaky fat Gaboon Viper (aka the snake) with its name now. They're a badass little beast. My husband had one, it died of natural causes and he & his brother cooked it up and ate it. Not kidding. Maybe that's what's wrong with him.......

Glory von Hathor said...

I'm not sure why Twilight frog couldn't just swallow his mouthful of custard before they took his photo.

Infantile, frog. Manners cost nothing.

HC said...

Haha, great post!

El Caganer said...

Gecko looks like he ate an entire tin of porch beef.

DestroytoCreate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DestroytoCreate said...

its a cave gecko not a leopard gecko.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3140/3043377967_94770bd75b.jpg

Lilee said...

cute! hehe

WR said...

FU,P is like the world wide web version Home Land Security for Defense Against Dark Cuteness...weird but good and... necessary....

Alexa said...

Dude, that rat ... it's an R.O.U.S. Rodent of Unusual Size.

http://scienceblogs.com/retrospectacle/rous.bmp

mshunter said...

if a human loses one leg, said human will still have infinitely more legs than a snake. if a human loses one leg and stands next to his two legged human friend, said two legged human friend will have 100% more legs than the guy who lost one leg.

Brandy Carolyn said...

Yeah... that gecko-lizard "geck-tard" does look like Mr. Burns... and, alarmingly, like one of my co-workers, too. No, don't pity me. I work in a different section of the building.

patric said...

Tube nosed bat to try out for role of Igor in Waaaaay-off Broadway production of Young Frankenstein?

Kelsey said...

Looks like the tube-nosed bat has a bad case of the swine flu.

Emily said...

I know I have found a home when multiple people went all "Mr Burns" on that gecko. It was the first thing I thought! Amazing.

I think the snake might have eaten something. Or someone. Let's hope it was my neighbor's loud kid.


Oh come on! You know what it's like!

Alexis said...

That beetle is the biggest asshole there - spraying himself cute, like it's going to help looking like an iPod nano. Douchebag.

Do you think if you blocked the Tube Nosed bat's nostrils his eyes would fly out? Because that's what I think would definitely happen.

SUSY said...

Why would a bat need a tube nose. I'd like Darwin to explain that one.

El Caganer said...

I pooped on a bat.

Chris said...

What?!?!? no fuck you turkey on thanksgiving day. What is there to give thanks for if FUP disappoints so? What other days are there that are so entirely devoted to one animal? FOR SHAME FUP, for SHAME. I'm doing the shameful finger rubbing thing right now, just so you know.

Kirsty said...

I saw an olive sunbird in Tanzania this summer. It was a pretentious little fucker.

Stine said...

Ahahahahahaha!

El Caganer said...

For Thansgiving I pooped on a turkey.

William said...

These sick bastards need to be put down. They're a threat to humanity!

Our Pack said...

See-through animals....hmmmm.

Le Meems said...

jesus this is HILLURIOUS!

blonde ambition boston said...

update this more often...I fee deprived....like I need more of you telling cute and ugly animals what's what. every day I check...and most days I am disappointed to find no new post... sad.

Rosa said...

Im sacred. That out of proportion snakes has another thing coming! x

The Velvet Milkman said...

The Velvet Milkman knows that milk isn't enough to maintain a healthy body--you also need Vitamin Funny. So c'mon! We're getting scurvy over here!

265andfalling said...

That snake is funny looking, but that brown eyed bat thing (or whatever) is kinda freakin' me out.

I just found this site so hopefully you're coming back soon!

Dejan said...

I think we need to put the zebras in their place. They are to smugg with all of their stripes.

Please do something about this!

Alex said...

Keep the frog but send the rest of those douchey animals back to the crater from whence they came. Oh but i'll take the rat...and the mister burns gecko...and the snake... But after that they can go back to whatever hellhole they emerged from.

Pot to your Kettle said...

you put out one book and completely forget about the blog? thanks, hack... (if you are hurt and / or dead, then I apologize...)

Tracy said...

If you're going to go away and leave us hanging for weeks, could you at least put a cute photo up top? Even the damn gecko will do. Anything but that freak-ass snake.

GreatSheElephant said...

Now you've got a book out, this appears to have turned into 'fuck you readers'.

tyler said...

Agreed. I respect the fact that the author does his own thing and doesn't want to be a slave to the readers- we're not entitled to his posts, but this feels more like being spit on. 20 days? That's probably 60 times just this one reader has been disappointed...

Jessica said...

The frog got you didn't he?

Becky said...

Hello! Is there anyone here? Helloooo??!!! Bloggers who wander off should at least put up a note.

mark said...

really funny stuff

El Caganer said...

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Krischn said...

@Becky
Quote: "I think I'm done here. Yeah."

Katy said...

1)first time visitor. frist time comment...er.
2)that technicolored lizzard cheetah will haunt my dreams forever
3)i love you.

Erica said...

ok, I just found this blog for the first time today, and you had me CRYING laughing....in the library for Gods sake. Embarrassing! And fucking hilarious. Thank you for this!!!!!

Rebecca Wilson said...

I miss you, FUP. Looking at my FUP t-shirt is just not the same. Are you gone for good?

The Velvet Milkman said...

If it's true you're done for good, the Velvet Milkman is going to be delivering pint bottles filled with TEARS.

hirakendu said...

:)

matt said...

"I think I'm done here. Yeah."

Awesome last post. This is the equivalent of dropping the mic at the end of a set and walking off stage. Solid ending.

Elizabeth said...

The last post reminds me of a fireworks finale. Good luck, FUP. I've really enjoyed the blog.

yarravillewahine said...

Oh mama, can this really be the end? To be stuck inside of Melbourne with the FUP blues again...

Please don't break a girl's heart! It's freakin' chirstmas, for chrissake!

Lala's Mama said...

I'm saddened. Just when I found you I lost you....

MikFoss said...

I got the book for christmas!!!

Effi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bearclaw Coffee - Britton, MI said...

so - it's done - how about a good-bye post. just sayin

Sophie said...

I hate all those things..
Please get them away from me.

Mike! said...

It's the New Year, could we have something new here? Surely some overtly cute and endangered critter did something crazy as shit last night and you know someone had a camera, dang it!
So where is it???

Alice said...

WHAT!? Is this the last post!? I JUST FOUND YOU!

Me-Me King said...

Hey there! I'm your 8556th follower. Big fucking deal, huh?

Jack Riepe said...

I cannot tell you how rtefreshing I find this blog after all that bullshit in Copenhagen.

Fondest regards,
Jack
Twisted Roads

beevr said...

If you don't write something again soon I'm going to completely lose my mind.

Barbara said...

Matt...Matty....MattyMattMattMatt,

Come back please! We miss you.

MG said...

is this blog over or something?

Reggie said...

I wonder what that snakes been eating?!?

Mr. Paul Maul said...

People are also adept at looking surprised when they are "discovered" even though they, too, are well aware of civilization. Maybe a Fuck You, People sister site is in order.

Vesa Peltonen said...

Hi psycho animal lover;
Well what 'hate' goes around will be back on your face.
People as you, who are the ultimate extreme animal haters, who can't find attention any other way but to create this psychotic blog and apparent book on hate of animals.You have been reported many times likely now, and maybe the negative attention your thrive on, sicko.
Your a shame to the human race. Animals are smarter than you. Did your parents or guardians make you chop pig heads all day, and you suffered for it, now you retaliate because you are afraid of people, small person.

-Mr. Vesa Peltonen

Matt Algren said...

SOMEbody's a cat person. ^

Vesa Peltonen said...

Matt,

Oh, people like you are so self righteous thinking in your half brain...don't waste your energy...you like confrontations, so I'm not giving you one. Meowwww..
I can envision all these petrified animals hanging in your basement and some in your fridge. You are a dying species actually. Are you the noble species?

Toodle doo.

-Vesa Peltonen

Vesa Peltonen said...

Is you first name Matt or is it 'Door'.
Forgot to ask...mmm?


V.Peltonen

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Tish MacIntosh said...

hey, love the blog! check out my blog if you want, i'm just starting it up...

http://emailsfrommymother.com

Abi said...

Haha I love this blog. I laughed so hard. Genious blog idea :)

Vesa Peltonen said...

Abi;

I'm not afraid to say that you are very naive and a follower.

Find your own path. Your making a mockery of animal lovers.Go home.

Vesa Peltonen

Vesa Peltonen said...

Tish;

Go and wake up...you are really as bad as the publisher with your subscribing to it's bad content.

You are also a follower without a mind of your own.

Go home as well silly twit. I guess you'd likely chop a cat in half too; right?

Vesa Peltonen

Vesa Peltonen said...

John;

Very surprised; your the first photographer I've come across that hates animals. Didn't you know you're on the low scale of an omeba, squirming in the pool of water.

Go home and read about compassion you jerk.

I bet you'd love to chop a squirrel in half and photograph it bleeding to death; right?

Go home.

Vesa Peltonen

Vesa Peltonen said...

Mr. Paul Maul;

You walking horizontal phony.

I bet right now you are in your dark basement with a few animals you found still alive and are cutting them into pieces;correct, or is that what is going through your dillusioned sick mind. Go in your cave you jerky neaderathal.

Have some compassion.

Vesa Peltonen

Vesa Peltonen said...

Organic Meatbag;

I could not given you a better name ha,haa...you jerk.

Go back to your cave and maybe the rats will start chewing on your legs, you animal hater ass.

Have a fun day eating your steak leftovers.

Vesa Peltonen

Megan said...

Mr. V-

I cannot tell if you're kidding and making an ass of yourself on purpose, or if you really do think that this is an animal HATING blog. If you actually took the time to read any of it, maybe you would realize that they blogger does in fact LIKE animals, as I can almost guarantee all of the readers of this blog do as well.

Maybe instead of insulting everyone who is posting on this blog, you can go enjoy the blogs you're actually subscribed to and just leave us the hell alone. And don't even think of writing a follow-up post accusing me of hating animals. I'm sure my pets, the animals at the sanctuary where I work, the dogs at the Assistance Institute where I volunteer, and the birds at the rescue center where I volunteer would all disagree with you.

Please go find your sense of humor.

Vesa Peltonen said...

Meagan;

You're making an ass of yourself my helping PERPETUATE what looks very much right away like 'animal hatered'.
Now listen my dear; I had 12 people for over last night, all had a look at this Animal BOG, and one happened to be an animal chiropractor. ALL the folks immediate response without my encouragement at all; was--this is sick-these people must have alot of time on their hands to do such foolish crap, YOUR A JOKE!--no one thought this was funny, I'm very surprised to hear about your background; indeed.

Now go and change your brain at the clinic, so both sides are working, take the frontal cortex out, and let those endorphines work to make you a more compassionate person, MEAGAN, and on your way, HUG an animal.

Mr. Vesa Peltonen
Media consultant & instructor/guidance counsellor/artist

Vesa Peltonen said...

Hi Folks that perpetuate animal hatred;

My last hope here for all of you is that you'll stop being self rightgeous and become compassionate in your ways: What has made you people 'followers'?? -likely a belief system instead of faith. None seem to be leaders, just hide behind a sick BLOG, very easy is it not.

Good luck; maybe on your resumes, put "I despise animals and love to fool people". mmm? Maybe not, yu won't get the job.

Mr.Vesa Peltonen
Media consultant & instructor/guidance counsellor/artist/

piper anasazi said...

Megan -
Just ignore Vesa Peltonen
He is a Hippie wannabe and is in love with a horse - a boy horse. Oh and he paints like a Nyquil fed 3 year old. http://peltonendesign.piczo.com/artworks?cr=1&linkvar=000044

He is a turd from Finland who lives in Canada...


He should go back on myspace and blog about Psytrance enemas.

jesus christ - who still uses hotmail..so professional..

Say Hi to Gandhi, John Lennon, Timothy Leary
Oh wait they are DEAD.


HACK

Steph Smith said...

100% of zero is actually zero.

Vesa Peltonen said...

Meagan;

Just ignore piperface;

That person likes to hide behind you,and hide behind a fake name, chicken to look anyone straight in the eye, and take poty-shots, and is likely on oxycontin, like an alter ego.

With such words, I would consider
piper-an-as (funny how names seem to tell alot about a people hater as well)

Too bad you have friends like these Meagan; I know you mean well, but someone in a red outfit is right behind you pulling your and others' strings.

What a shame to be HACK.

Vesa Peltonen

piper anasazi said...

0.0

your - you're

http://www.hippybook.com/VesaPeltonen/

You and your 12 friends should lighten up on the Merlot

Vesa Peltonen said...

Piper-down;

Where did you learn English?

I don't waste my energy on rascist juveniles...unless they see me in my office.



-Vesa Peltonen H.B.F.A. B.Ed/ Guidance counsellor specialist

piper anasazi said...

Where? still at First Nation High School?

Or do you have an still have an office at 105 Iris?

Or should I call your "friends" and tell them their freak messiah wishes an audience?

Vesa Peltonen said...

Piper-oni;


lol lmao

Go and play in your frozen sandbox.
It's been a pleasure. Nice to have known you HACK.


Bye, V for you know what.

Mary said...

Ummm.. Vesa? Matthew? You're the same person, right?

Vesa Peltonen said...

Piper;

You're on the grey area of defamation of character... so watch it.

You said..."Or should I call your "friends" and tell them their freak messiah wishes an audience?"

You keep at it kid. I stopped wasting my energy. Done, unless you want court action.

Vesa Peltonen

Vesa Peltonen said...

Mary;

Please stay out of this. Now how can two people be in the same place at the same time Mary? gee!

Go do something positive, like I am moving onto; as being with your good friends or/and family.

Thank you kindly,

Vesa Peltonen

piper anasazi said...

VESA PELTONEN

HAHA court action

get off the internet hippie tard

http://peltonendesign.piczo.com/?g=3184160&cr=1

if you don't want people to see it don't put it out there.

I am sure you show your superior asshattery out in public too

your kids must be proud

Vesa Peltonen said...

Piper-nazi;

Where did you learn English?

Go now, like a good person, and play with your toys...you're not bothering, just being plain.

You'd make a good case for my file...which is getting a little smaller.
Why don't we talk about your problems at my office; maybe go back to what happened in your childhood that dramatized you so much to be like this.


Vesa Peltonen

Mary said...

My name is not Mary.
And what are "friends" and "family" compared to legions of devoted followers?
Who will hold back the cute now? The cute that threatens to overwhelm us all.

Vesa Peltonen said...

OMG lol, No, really, am I surprised...

"My name is not Mary.
And what are "friends" and "family" compared to legions of devoted followers?
Who will hold back the cute now? The cute that threatens to overwhelm us all."

lmao

Such immature humans, THAT PERPETUATE 'HATE'...

This is such great study for 'abuse, harassment, hate literature' at the University meeting this week.

Thanks so much Mary.

V.P.

piper anasazi said...

Hey douchebag I bought the book did you?

anyhoo
I am sure the peeps at the Chronicle journal will LOVE this thread
lucky me I have it on a toy called a "PDF"

They might even find out what a fuckwad you really are.


Now get off the internet so your boys can play Tetris - but let them take off their tutu's first 'cause that would be just silly.

Nishant said...

How I hate them.

Work from home India

Matt Algren said...

I have a hard time believing that Vesa is being serious. That or he hasn't seen the "Moose Are The Biggest Dorks Ever" post.

Vesa Peltonen said...

Matt -tell Piper to pipe down; he's all just talk;

I figure I didn't need to write more to bunch of jerks, however the only person I'm talking sensibly to is Matt...just moments ago,-- If Matt would look on his
e-mail.

It's all over boys.

Bye.

V.P.

piper anasazi said...

Vesa Peltonen

TADA

And Fuck you old man

piper anasazi said...

I love Matt He is a militant like me;)

Vesa Peltonen said...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dalai-Lama/45274656366

Vesa Peltonen said...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dalai-Lama/45274656366#/pages/The-Dalai-Lama/45274656366?ref=mf

piper anasazi said...

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dalai-Lama/45274656366?v=wall

yes you are

piper anasazi said...

check the fans only

Matt Algren said...

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&gid=2232898264

Tim said...

vesa: one of the worst, least-humourous trolls i've read. leave trolling to the pros, okay.

sophistiKate said...

Do you see? Do you see Matt (G) what happens when you leave us without any new blog posts for too long? SHEER INSANITY!!

Mike! said...

Someone needs to switch to Decaf...

Sarah said...

i'm sure someone's already said this, but i skimmed most of the comments instead of reading them so just in case:

vesa: your is possessive. you're means you are. i think you have them confused.

Julia said...

with absolutely zero due respect, is this conversation really happening?

let's just mourn the loss of possibly the most brilliant page on the interwebz and get on with it.

Chocoauneon said...

julia - thumbs up.

vesa - scares the hell outta me. in both cases (one being...trying to be funny, second being actually serious)

fup - i will miss you. take care

Jing said...

Green Sea Slug is part animal, part plant: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/01/green-sea-slug/

Enjoy!

Agent Nightingale said...

Ha. We seem to now have two copies of your book for Christmas, clearly we are people who are grumpy about cute animals. Next door's bloody cat thought I was throwing a snowball at him to play with and tried to pat it about the place in a cute fashion. Fucker.

Jon said...

Looks like the site is done, but it was good while it lasted!
Very nice ending!

Steve said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Matt and Vesa are one in the same.

Is that our encore performance? :-P

desertfour said...

it is obvious that vesa is the blog author working a new angle at coming in. hope it fares better than the kidnapping fiasco.

Rico said...

The author is much funnier than Vesa Peltonen; unless you count the "Vesa Peltonen Pondering" blog; now that shit's funny.

I remember when ppl thought I was Matt during the great kidnapping incident (I'm not, and it was funny enough what with fucking around in the comments section). I miss FUP - the last post suggested there would be more after this - and I quote, "just to get them out of the way and move onto the serious problem areas." WELL, MOVE ON TO THEM DAMMIT!!!!

Oh, out of concern I ran "Vesa Peltonen" through an anagram program and I got:

ant envelopes: some sort of insect metaphor for taking over the world?

event espanol: an allusion to a worldwide coup, perhaps starting in Mexico?

loves pentane (a volitile hydrocarbon) - explosions anyone? - maybe all over the world?

planet venose - hmmm, this might actually explain a lot!


I bet penguins are gods on Venose, those little dick-sucking flightless shitheads (sniffle).

Mary said...

Also: please vent on

Mary said...

oo! oo! a better one: venal pee snot

Leigh said...

I love this blog! Funniest thing EVER! But please, don't use 'gay' as an insult. :(

Entirely said...

For the record, I thought the kidnapping string was pure comic genius. It will be sad if this blog is done...

Nicole Burron said...

thats sad its over.
but
www.yourbabyisanasshole.com

is still running!

Dave Lewis said...

I just discovered your blog.
I feel so normal now, thank you.

Noel said...

so disappointing

Type A Chronicles said...

You've been awarded the "When Life Hands You Lemons Blog Award".... see www.typeachronicles.blogspot.com

Mammoth said...

"It comes down to just one conclusion to your observations; "They are Food"

Kaya said...

I've pleaded for a FU Penguin return:
http://sottovocevoice.blogspot.com/2010/01/pissed-off-penguin.html

Chanda said...

Love this blog! Any new posts soon?

www.livingshallowlivingwell.blogspot.com

LivingShallowLivingWell said...

kjkjl

trulymadlydeeply said...

I miss the warm embrace of your scathing judgments and hotheaded observations.

Sarah Dobbs said...

I have just telling my husband I have yet to find a blog that makes me laugh out loud. I do love a good hoot as writers like David Sedaris are my fav. So glad I stumbled upon this read.

xx

S

http://onetwothreehappiness.blogspot.com/

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Siobhan said...

No? This really can't be the last post! I didn't interpret the last sentence as "This is the last post ever." I'm shocked! I thought FUP was just on a long holiday!

Siobhan said...

And wow. V.P. accused all those commenters of being immature, yet tried to insult every single one of them? Innnnteresting...

Stephanie said...

Bastards.

beth said...

I MISS YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theantinerd said...

I have you LINKED ON MY BLOG, FU Penguin Guy. Don't go all Seinfeld on us now. Do you REALISE how popular my site is? I have almost 2.5 THOUSAND visitors since... a WHILE.

So stop being a sook. Get on your chair, straighten your shirt, and let those fucking cheeky little animals know what the deal is. We're getting over-run by them here in Africa AND I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN AFRICA.

Mal said...

Am I the only one who saw FUP's tweet about a week ago linking to this post? I saw a new tweet from FUP and got excited thinking that there would be a new post, clicked the link and got led right back to this one. Totally confused by that. Just tweeting about a post more than two months after it was originally posted...?

Selena said...

What, are you so famous now with your book that you haven't had time to write anything since before Thanksgiving??? Were you kidnapped by vengeance-seeking turkeys & you are just waiting for rescue in a barn in the midwest? Type "blink twice" for yes...

Angelah said...

What the hell... why are so many people reading this garbage? Same reason why Paris Hilton is famous? Explains Jersey Shore and the Hills too... I'm stumped, can't think of a more useless waste of bytes...

Bailey Jacqueline said...

I just wanted to say that i read the book and it was so hilarious! :) B-) so yeah peace

Bailey Jacqueline said...

angelah dont dis BZA

revelationsinabsurdity said...

Your anger at tiny animals makes me howl with delight.

WR said...

So that's it...not even a good bye?

qbenni3 said...

100% of nothing is nothing, dickhead

aamazon43 said...

You are so funny!!

Debs Crochet said...

Stopping by to give you the Sunshine Blog Award http://debs1967.blogspot.com/2010/02/sunshine-blog-award.html

Stancy said...

RIP the best blog on the World Wide Web

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DarkSock said...

I peed in a horse once.

Ushie said...

Did you go Chappelle on us?

{ I V Y } said...

woah these are awesome!

ian the chef said...

100% more legs than the snake?

I think not

"Do the Math" as you colonials say

drawntofire said...

What happened to this blog? Lame.

Erin said...

Why are there no new posts?!?!?!? This is what I looked forward to on my lunch hour in my CUBICLE!!!!

Copyboy said...

Awesome picks!!!

The World Tour said...

...

Megan said...

ARGH!!!!!!! ARGH to you sir!!!

KZ said...

The new Life series on the Discovery Channel is making me pine for new FUP. Seriously, did anybody else see that fucking elephant shrew? UGH.

"Seattle" Heather said...

Seriously, where ARE YOU?!?! Your fans NEED YOU!!! Get the hell back here and start typing...something! At least a goodbye damn it!

EJ said...

Wondering if I am missing something on your blog that tells me where to look for updated writings.... well, I will stay the course and keep searching. Found your blog via the julie/julia project. Great work! Keep it up...

David James said...

WTF. Where are you??

desertfour said...

folks, read the last line of the last post: "i think i'm done here. yeah"

he has said goodbye. leave him alone.

Lark said...

That's probably the way to read it, but it seems a little...subtle. Or chicken.

monica said...

Thanks for sharing this cool stuff. Pictures are really awesome.
Regards,
http://www.synergyvets.com

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dc4b said...

www.wearebadpeople.blogspot.com
i think everybody would love my site haha :)

Eugene said...

I miss Vesa Peltonen =(

Laila said...

This is very exotic...this is the first time I see animals like that...

bark collar

Citizen X said...

http://citizenxchemicalsx.blogspot.com/

Jokes

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Emiko Akemi Chidori said...

Much Honor from crazyasianbaby.blogspot.com

Professor Chaos said...

How Have I not seen this blog until now? Freaking Hysterical!

ummmmheyyyy said...

That snake kinda looks like a poop. Just sayin.

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Emiko Akemi Chidori said...

If you like mocking animals you will love mocking babies.

http://crazyasianbaby.blogspot.com/

Karsun said...

I miss this blog terribly. Come back! http://www.karsunsworld.com

104580741056006020417 said...

Mexican Flag with wings--child, he better hope he ain't flying over Arizona anytime soon!

Admin said...

First One is a so horrible

hosting

Ordovician Meander said...

6 months and no activity? Time to update my bookmarks.

Natalie said...

I purchased your book a few months ago to have at work because its sooo hilarious. I'm a nurse and my job can be a serious beat down sometimes, but your book has improved morale at work. I kinda think I'm falling in love with you. I hope you're still alive.

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Gotham said...

yew.... i was just scared by the scary looking reptiles and rats, i am not sure how people could pet them and hold them, i would certainly run in the other direction

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